Urban Warrior Cybercafe

The Farewell

2006-12-31T12:07:00.000+08:00

Now that the year is finally over, it's time to look back a bit before turning the page, thank some people, and make some announcements.

Greetings:

I used to greet a lot of people last year but yeah I think it's time we do some pruning.

To the crew at work, all the best for next year. Keep learning, keep growing.

To blog ppl, keep writing, you know who you are.

To the friends who visit, don't think you people are unnoticed. Thank you all for the quality time, which inspired some entries in this blog.

Announcements:

After reading a series of enlightening articles, I have decided to enshrine this blog and temporarily stop blogging altogether. I am in the middle of a decision making season which will dictate what I will do for the next half year, and I intend to get rid of all distractions little by little.

I created this blog for the purpose of imparting insights in life through telling stories, some of which are my own, and I feel that I have achieved that; which pushed me with this decision of capping up this blog.

..and so with this last pitch, this is your cyber-barista, signing off.

C is everywhere

2006-12-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

No, I didn't mean Christmas...

I meant Chaos.

For those of you who are still buying gifts, better do it before the weekend. I cannot explain how happy is the feeling of sitting at home pretty and done with your shopping compared to slugging it out together with everyone at every mall, stall, corner, and food place. Long lines, tired shoppers, disgruntled sales personnel, swindlers who pretend to get lost in the city and ask for fare to return to their province, yeap, they're what you are going to run into.

and again.. if you really don't have to get someone a present and you're doing it just for the sake of giving, give it a rest. I'm sure a personal SMS is much much more meaningful than that Starbucks commuter mug. The cost in terms of celphone load would make 500 or more people happier.

This year's christmas has been a "disciplining" for me. I finally kept to my resolve. I haven't gotten a gift for anyone ('cept my parents, but that doesn't really count), and yes I also didn't buy anything for myself either. Whenever I think about it, I am sadly surprised.. but happy. Sad because I'm sure I wouldn't be thinking and talking like this if money was really easy to come by. I'm not just talking about myself, but about the whole working force in general. Inflation is there every year, and when I hear my friends in their respective industries talk about their work and their compensation, I seriously question the future of this country..

Will we ever be able to support and give children a good education and quality life like we used to???

So, that's the "Sad" part. The "Happy" part is.. before I used to think it was a big deal whenever I didn't get to give gifts to people, but after some years, I realized that most of the people who really heartened up to me, were not the people who I gave gifts to, but the ones who I spent time with, not necesarilly days or hours. I'm talking about minutes when it matters. I'm happy because there are a lot of souls out there who still value friendship and relationships more than you would a gift.

And so the Chaos continues. In my heart however, the only chaos will be during the gatherings that I organize.. that of boisterous laughter, old stories, jokes, and memories.

Season

2006-11-29T09:04:00.000+08:00

Habits are hard to break. It's a habit that kicks in every December. We call it Christmas.

For the past years, I've already looked at ways to improve the experience of the season without resorting to material anesthetics (we also call them gifts), so far it's been working, and I want to share this secret with you guys.

Make New Times

Always spend the holiday freetime with a different set of people every year. I know this is odd to some people, but trust me, it works. It's just that a year is just too long to spend seeing the same people every occasion (not just relatives but friends in general) that you'll grow too bored and breed contempt of spending time instead.

On giving

While I don't believe in this at all (because it's the season as the reason), the essence of gift giving is the effort. Not the thought, but the effort. Why so? Because we can always think about giving something to someone, but actually going out and taking the effort to look for a present is what is endearing. Well, ok, the thought matters, but as always I'm pushing to transcend the "it's the thought that counts" idea.

Don't give it if it's not good

They say that it's better not to give a gift at all if you're not going to give a good one. It will only make the recipient think of you as "giving for the sake of _____". In doing so, the quality of the interaction is awkward for both parties. So, how do you tell if you're giving a good gift? Whenever you look at a present - ask yourself if you want it for yourself too. Chances are, the ones you answer YES to are the good gifts. Trust me, it works everytime.

..and if you won't give a gift, it's perfectly fine. Let's not forget that life matters still and will always come first.

Yeah yeah I can't believe it's already that time again...

On higher spending

2006-11-16T14:37:00.000+08:00

I walk the malls every week and come across different people, students, office people, retired old citizens, housewives, foreigners. I sometimes ask myself, if people really need to spend disposable income in a mall. More than half of what you see or buy is a luxury.

Take shopping for clothes for example. Whenever you see clothing that you want to buy, you usually say you "need" it. But in reality, you just "want" it. Even if you don't buy it, you'd be just fine.

This is perfectly fine as long as you can afford the lifestyle that goes with it. This is just an example mind you. This can be anything, from buying electronic gadgets, music CDs, books, etc. Whenever you buy something that you can afford and still not flinch at your budget, this is called self-rewarding.

When you take a step back and look at it all from the bigger picture, you realize that our disposable income is well spent (sarcastically).

So, when do you say that something becomes unnecessary to spend on?

Perhaps the best idea for that would be - if that something you want is affordable but spending on it would take away beyond what is disposable income for you, yeap, you have an impulsive-spending problem right there.

Take note I make careful mention of "disposable income" - so it means that if you are not making ends meet and you are still spending on a luxury, then you have to rewrite your budget to finance your cost of living.

Whenever I think about it -- there is sound reasoning as why you would want to get a White Choco Latte that costs thrice as a large soda would, or a gourmet milkshake which yeah is also thrice the price at a regular fastfood. For that individual, he/she probably works hard so he/she would want to enjoy and spend hard. That's perfectly fine.

There is one other reason - the reason we all want (ideal, but crazy) - as to why we go for higher, more expensive (not necessarily better) things. It is because we want to experience the a feeling of elation. More specifically, to be able to say the phrase "because I can". After we spend on something that elates us, we feel good, and the experience of the moment is priceless.

What if, lets say one day, Mc Donalds served UFC / CBT / SBC drinks at regular coffee price - you wouldn't still buy it there. I know you're much smarter than that -- you're going to run up to your favorite coffeeshop as always and get that frappe you've been thinking about since 5:30. That is probably because you wouldn't want to be seen at McDonalds having a gourmet iced coffee drink.

So, despite all the talk to save and whatever, this (sickly) justifies our reason for spending. =D

Email

2006-10-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

My friend who is working abroad emailed to say that she is getting married in a couple of months and was asking me to come to her wedding. Yeah I'd go if I could. (If it would be held here in Manila yeah I'd go).

I wonder if I would ever decide to drop the anchor and stop sailing. Maybe it's because I've been so hardened by many worse experiences that tells me to be careful before ever doing something that will change your life (again).

I am so tired of all this, that sometimes that I wish girls would be able to give birth easily even when they're past 30 and that menopause would be 10 years more than what's known now, that would be the shit..

..and that the honest money you make is commensurate to your cost of living.

That's my scapegoat for this post.. I don't know what it is about it, but it seems that everything you say sounds like a scapegoat to some other person, even if it isn't..

Little things vol. 3

2006-10-18T09:33:00.000+08:00

You make your own problems

My niece was asking me to give her this and that for christmas. Then I told her that I would if she had really good grades in school. After mentioning this, she said that school was hard because of this and that (accdg. to her she is weak in math). When I asked her what she does to prepare for tests, there it was -- she spends more time chatting with her friends on the phone than studying. I simply told her that if you want to ruin your life as early as highschool, be my guest. When you do the things when you're not supposed to do them, you cause your own problems.

I think this is the case with adults even at a bigger scale. I know of people having problems with monthly payments on stuff they couldn't really afford. They do so because they wanted to show off this and that to their friends. And if I thought stuff like this ended during childhood, I was so wrong. Well it's their money and they're budget is really fucked.

Is all life equal?

Let's say you were a professional doctor and you had two patients to operate on - both are babies with requiring the same medical surgery, the other is the baby of a poor family and the other baby is that from a rich family. The poor family's baby was rushed in the hospital first.

Who will you operate on?

Unnecessary

I know of people who are more or less my friends. (un)fortunately I know a lot who were in a relationship now and they're in splitsville. It's really funny when you stumble upon the testimonials they make, it's almost 100% sure that they're "nagpaparinig" (trans: sour-graping) to the one who left. It's amusing, if not pathetic, that people have become so attached to an imbalancing factor in life.. that is... making love the center of their life. I'm being careful when I say "the center" because a good life is a balance of everything.

Little things vol. 2

2006-09-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

YOUR FATE IS NOT MINE

Everytime I visit a friend's family whenever there's a birthday, I am always asked why I am not like most.. (that is, getting married and shit like that). Being the tolerant person that I am, I always just grin and tell them I don't feel like it just yet.. (these people have single daughters bordering 30)

(at some microsecond moment, I imagine grabbing the nearest chair and slamming it into the face of whoever who asks me that)

Older people are so nosy..

MARKETING

From the words of my friend:

Love is like marketing.. it's about picking who's the "better deal".

This came from a girl, mind you.

This is one of the important lessons you have to learn in life. People will always look for something in a person, and if they don't have THAT, they won't spend the rest of their lives with you, much less like you.

Which is why my friend is (still) single. She MIGHT remain single until her teeth will fall off, if she keeps on thinking like this however. Well that's not my concern anymore. I just like writing about it to voice her out.

For my part (i'm going to be saddistic), I sometimes chide when people who have super idealistic shit fall flat on their face. I'm idealistic too, but not enough to lose my head over something that's impossible.

THOUGHTFULNESS

Do you know that a simple "hi" over the sms airwave can cure a week's worth of depression compared to a forwarded message? For fuck's sake, email has been taken for granted to the point that people are too lazy to make even one-liner messages. Trust me, it's really simple -- try sending some person a personalized non-forwarded message. It makes you and the receiver feel better.

Let's NOT milk our youth

2006-08-30T09:14:00.000+08:00

I ran into a junior of mine from long ago. They seem so happy to meet me, they reminded me of how it was back then when I was with them. Those were my glory days. Going further back..

I once managed a project, in this my team was composed of neophytes and I didn't have a senior person to help me. So I had to babysit them all. In another end, there was another project manager, with a group of elite and senior people. I really wanted to get a couple from there but I've been dealt this hand.

By some freak miracle we managed to meet the dealine of delivering a service, while the other team with those really good people delivered late. When the post-mortem of each project came, it was discovered..

..that it wasn't a miracle. The other team, their manager had worked them off so late into unreasonable hours and even into both weekend days. Whereas I, never had my team work a single day in overtime, except when they absented themselves. My rule was simple. 40 hrs in a week - no more, no less. It was realized that my team was very happy to work each day, motivated and with refreshed morale. The other team however, had their manager going home before their team does, and their mandated work schedule imbalancing their lives, in effect destroying their morale and motivation. I don't know where the core problem lies.. either I negotiated the deadlines very well or the other team kept on committing to an unreasonable deadline for the sake of having a project.

I really hate it when things like that happen.. finishing a project on time at the cost of your non-work aspects of life being totalled.

Little things vol. 1

2006-08-09T08:51:00.000+08:00

Uncertainty

If there is anything about human behavior that I want to bank on, it would be the element of uncertainty. It makes us appreciate what we have more, because we know at any time in our life, gifts, things, people might be taken away from us.

I stare at pictures recently taken on the computer.
It's pictures of friends who are almost non-existent (the ones who I wanted to keep). They became so because of distance.. and probably due to consistent neglect of communication. Not that I believe that communication is enough to keep good friends. Distance IS A FACTOR. Anyway, not that I didn't value them when they were around. It's probably because we grew complacent with the idea that we would be friends for life - there was an element of certainty. And it is exactly what caused us to drift, take each other for granted, and to finally grow disinterested in each other's company.

The bottom line would be to accept the fact that nothing is ever certain in life so people shouldn't really look forward to anything that's sure AT ALL. It don't matter whether it's love, health, insurance, or financial security. And because of this we should always appreciate what we have now for it could be taken away tomorrow.

Departure

During the past weeks, a couple of Korean friends have left Manila back to their own country. And a few more will be leaving soon. As they are gone now, I look back at how I ended up being their friend. It was a really good thing for me. I never felt insecure being around them. Most filipinos would be. If you weren't raised in the crab mentality culture by your parents (yes I blame parents for it, as they have the power to change this when their children are young). Other filipinos don't take very well towards Koreans (for real) because they envy them at being a first world country now when Korea was such a poor poor country before - and when you look at Manila and where it is now, you just shake your head in disgust.

The need to adapt

2006-07-27T06:00:00.000+08:00

[ side story - one evening in Manila time ]

One of the ghosts of my past came to me one night in a dream. She (the ghost) was threatening me with - "Don't you have any plans of having a girlfriend? You're not getting any younger".

At hearing this I thought to myself -- "Since when did a guy worry about his age when the question of a relationship came up?". I'm pretty sure that reason did shut her up. I was actually going to respond: "That's something you should tell to a girl".

And with that, the banshee was sealed away, not to come back for another hundred years or so.

[ end of side story ]

Actually there is something even heavier than that reasoning. Just recently there have been a number of blog posts the past week about a similar topic (I won't mention it anymore), and this topic has some sort of connection with how I'm dealing with all this shit.

Well what I have to say is: back in the day, whenever I ask parents of how things where in the past, life was much easier -- they were getting married (and impregnated) at an early age average. They were like.. 18 to 21 at least. And that was around mid 70's to early 80's. Indeed, times were very easy. Fast forward 2006 - now it's nowhere near that state of ease in life's pressures. With this change - our people's values and habits should also change accordingly.

And one of these changes we should adopt to is in our thinking that people should still get married before 30. I guess it's really difficult to scrape this off our minds since it has been deeply rooted. But I'm sure there is wisdom in adapting to the changes of the times. I know people past their 30's who are married but they voluntarily decided not to have children (and they have been married for 5 years and still decided not to have offspring). That's an example of the kind of adjustment that we have to nail into our heads. It all boils down to one thing "we don't have a good shot like our parents did. And insisting that a shot is good when it isn't will spell misery for you and your future children" (well, if we aren't living miserably already).

It's pretty simple reasoning, that I wonder why people just don't get it. We make our own problems so people really shouldn't be complaining whenever they know they don't have the capacity to do something (like.. get married and raise a family) yet they do so out of social obligation or tradition.

Screw that all, really.. times have changed, and so should we all..

The Steel Resolve

2006-07-18T05:52:00.000+08:00

Last week marked my 7th year of service in name of my craft - that is being a professional Systems Analyst and Designer in the Information Technology industry. There are probably many who claim that they are, but let me tell you, it takes more than just working in a big company to be really called one (if at all for you to qualify).

I'm not exaclty celebrating. In our community eye that's just for formalities. What really matters is how far I've gone and how much I've given up to achieve this level of expertise. Looking back at how we all were back in college as ComSci students, you could see the "potentials", you could also see the "potential wannabes". I saw my vocation, and with it I had realized my vision. And so I sought to reach it.

I have gone far and wide in the development industry. Using my connections and my "quality of service" as my signature, I joined a smaller team of professionals who share the same passion. We are now one of the moving forces who shape to improve this country's infrastructure by providing organizations with services to improve their business.

The question many people ask me is why did I leave my previous company -- perhaps the biggest step towards my career growth. My answer was quite straightforward - It was because the opportunities that I have now, that company could never provide. Why should I wait for 10-20 years for it when I can accomplish them now? I had to take care of myself - it was perhaps the (biggest and last) mistake I made in dealing with the denizens of the corporate world, to think that a company (any company for that matter) - could take care of you.

Believe me - if you have the balls and talent (in whatever industry), you have to do two things - first is to turn your talent into an ability. You can achieve this by solidifying your values on personal discipline. When you have the discipline for your career - the talent becomes an ability. When you have an ability - that is.. being able to do something quicker and better than most people who still look at their skills as a talent, you are miles and miles ahead of people with Talent. And believe me - faster time-to-market sells more than just "being good". Ever wondered why people with good voices take voice lessons? It's for refining your voice talent into a Singing Ability. The analogy is similar in most cases.

After this, next you have to sell yourself. Repeat business offered to you by previous clients is probably the biggest payback you will have. It doesn't matter if you were under a big company and you were servicing them. The point is when you left, they're still looking for you (and not the company). Strive to achieve that level of relationships with the people you do business with. After you have these two, everything else will follow. And you have secured your place in the world.

And then after that, you work to leave your legacy, then retire a legend. It's all good.

and I've got miles and miles to go...

To stop looking back

2006-07-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

[ Flashback - some time in 1998 ]

[ A conversation between a boy and a girl at a party]

"So, where's your ate at?"

"Hi Kuya! Oh ate's at her friend's place. It's her friend's despedida."

Something hit me like "Spidersense". Someone's going to get screwed tonight.

True enough, a couple of weeks later. I learned that my friend was pregnant. A couple of hours into the party, there was drinking and dancing.. then some more drinking and some dirty dancing, then some more drinking and some more dirtier dancing, then another few moments, the high school boyfriend was on top of her, like copper being smelted in a heated forge.

At such an early age, and out of wedlock, her pristine constitution was with seed. I wanted to see her, but I heard that she disappeared under the care of her parents for a while until she bore her child. She said that it was difficult (referring to the consequences) because she had a lot of plans and dreams and that she's gotta drop most of those because of the responsibilities that come with what she did.

( too bad, I have high hopes for her, I'm sure she's strong, but she was regretting that thing she did. The next thing you'll know the 5 mins of exquisite pleasure is traded off for a changed life ).

[ End of Flashback - Fast Forward to sometime early 2006 ]

I glanced at a photograph in my proofs envelope that was sticking out. It was her, with a baby that looked like her kid (actually it was her younger brother). Whenever I think about it.. I am haunted sometimes by the thought that it could have been me (the guy who got her pregnant). Fate is still enjoying sadistically taunting me with those memories. At what age could you find such a girl? That whether you're awake or asleep you think about her? And hearing that she's gonna be a mommy soon breaks your heart and all...

I lazily picked up my cell and looked her up in my contacts. I didn't have anything to do in particular. I just wanted to see how she was.

(Whenever I get an urge to do this, I am reminded why I intentionally delete some people from my contact list).

Why it's worth that much

2006-07-03T07:33:00.000+08:00

Have you ever tried buying those expensive perfumes in malls? The ones that cost $60 US (P 3500 up)?

Or if not surely you've had put any other perfume on before?

While we would complain that the price is a bit too steep for perfume, I feel it's still worth the price.
( of course if money is a problem you shouldn't really be buying perfume at all )

Out of curiosity, I bought 2 100 Fl oz. bottles of perfume from a local perfume stall (the ones with short cylindrical colored translucent bottles - that should give you a clue where it's from). They costed something P1400 (est. $ 25 US) for both. Let's call it perfume A.

Then I tried that together with the expensive brand that I have a little left of (originally a 250 ml. volume). Let's call this perfume B.

I applied A and B in both wrists and see how long they lasted.

In less than 12 hours, perfume A's scent has completely worn off.
48 hours came and I can still pick up perfume B's scent.
60 hours came and I can still pick up perfume B's scent faintly.

When I look at it all on paper, I would end up paying more for the same amount of perfume (perfume A). So I realized that I should've bought perfume B. I would have been more satisfied with my purchase.

For want of being able to save, I ended up spending more, so that's probably going to be last bottle of perfume of that brand that I'll buy.

Levelling up

2006-06-26T09:05:00.000+08:00

I broke through a wall the past week. I have reached this level of organization that I have managed two major endeavors at once. I actually pulled it off. Now I am back in my "normal" pace, but this time with a different challenge -- another deadly project.

It's nothing new, I just felt I had to do a station check back here.

You know this fast-pased lifestyle, it comes with a price.. (so I've learned). You can only spend times with few people (outside work), so you really really have to pick your company. You can't spend it on people who just are there for themselves. You have to choose the people you wanna hang out with, no questions of agenda -- you just want their company.

My routine right now is ever crazier, fast-paced, chronic.. and it's time to go.
and so I'm off..

Priorities

2006-06-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I've actually lasted weeks of not posting. I noticed that whenever the time comes that I get an urge to post something, someone calls, or there's this work-related thing that comes up.

Well, this is just sort of a check-point post, because well I think I'm somewhere between breaking and levelling my personal discipline skill. Can you believe - no World of Warcraft for days?? And I'm still alive to actually talk about it?

Yeah yeah I know, I got this thing at work that I really have put more time on. It won't be long though. I am counting the days until this deadline thing is over so I can relax. Whenever I think of it, this writing time -- This is perhaps the few moments when I can relax.

Anyway, just a short note I wanted to write about Priorities -- the world is has no tolerance for ignorance of priorities. Whatever you are doing, whether you're working, studying or just plain living it out waiting for your breadwinner to come home, some things have to be addressed in life first before anything else. And there's this point in time in your life that choosing the higher priority is means being more mature. Yeah I guess that's the ticket to growth.. secondly, it's in being responsible. By that I mean, not passing the buck when you know it within yourself that the buck stops with you.

Hmm.. was that a short note?? Crap, I've got to get back to what I'm doing. Just a few more weeks.. and all this shit will be over.

Geekstyle

2006-05-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

I browsed several reviews over live-action anime series over the weekend. One of which was Densha Otoko. It was a series which depicts an example of what wikipedia describes as a "Japanese Geek" in his early twenties who wishes to lead a normal life but too shy to find a girlfriend and don't speak openly unless they're online. I won't describe the details so as not to spoil it for those who are curious enough to want to watch it.

The bottom line, before I go any further, is that there is a breed of people who live this lifestyle and are here to stay.

Taking a step back and looking at the Densha Otoko from a big picture, I think there's something really unique about that term - "Japanese Geek". While it is a given that anime and being otaku are the biggest influences of Japan to the world, I can't help think that in every country that has had contact with Japan, more than 50% of the male population from teens to thirties have this "Geek" blood in them already. It only took the influence of Japanese culture as a catalyst to bring it out.

I can see it. A guy's room with a computer, a gaming console, a TV. There are a lot of toys displayed on their shelves. Some of robots and some of female cartoon characters. They are living with their parents. Their salary is around 40,000 yen a month (not very high by Japanese standards).

Typically girls aren't attracted to guys like these. Take note however - guys who fall under this lifestyle are honest and love their hobby like a cult. Believe it or not, they are among the most disciplined when it comes to their craft.

The only caveat I can see in this is how general society perceives this kind of lifestyle. When people see you to be like that (past your 30's and still playing games) they will most probably question your "maturity". According to the traditional old people, you should be raising a family by this time. Well guess what -- the geeks know better.

I'm not just talking about Japanese but people all over the world in general. Usually they expect people to settle and marry. Well that's fine. At some point in time, these people will probably get tired of playing games and will have the courage to find a girl and settle down. The "Japanese Geek" who falls under this category isn't a real Geek. They just "bloomed" differently. Take note I didn't use the term "late bloomed" because everyone has a choice of how to live their life and to them, it IS right - regardless of what social norms or culture declare.

One fine valid point against what the social norms (in japan or wherever) dictate is that the average compensation of the working single male is falling off the salary which is "commensurate to the cost of living" in whichever country. Well, this is probably a highly biased statement (since I know there is a substantial volume of people who are single and pay rent, but have the capacity save a lot, and STILL have substantial disposable income for day-to-day living) but I believe that this is not a problem solveable by personnal discipline alone).

While this state exists in the world, I believe that the Geek lifestyle will proliferate, if not have a strong staying presence, for there is one thing about this lifestyle that is attractive - this is perhaps the only lifestyle that you have full control of your life. That discussion however, is another story.

On automobile accidents

2006-05-02T08:42:00.000+08:00

This morning I chanced to see an auto incident involving two private vehicles. They were both making a right turn in an intersection. The car on the left turned too early, hitting the rear of the car on the right. (they were going in the same direction).

Usually you would expect them to move their vehicles on the shoulder, but nooo, for some 5 minutes the drivers of both vehicles were having words at each other, blaming each other. Finally, after some valiant effort, the traffic enforcer had convinced them to move their vehicles on shoulder.

This is one of the things that disgust and amuse me about the Philippine way - how we take towards automobile accidents. I remember months ago, when one of my friends visited Manila, commented at how immature we are when dealing with a minor dent or similar. The main point is that no one got hurt. And repairs to cars are simply repairs. Secondly, well.. you see what a sucky attitude people have when they know they are not at fault. Instead of just helping to alleviate the stress brought about by the event, they have the nerve to lambast and curse the driver.

Let's not even talk about the repair aspect of an automobile accident - if you can even call it one. When you see news reports of automobile accidents in countries like America, it makes our simple dents and bumps look like a joke.

Personally? Well I know we make mistakes, but raising your voice in anger is but a "10-second emotion" and it seldom helps. But the golden point about all this is well.. in other countries, they just say "are you hurt? are you insured? then, ok have a nice day".

So polite. Looking back at the streets of manila I say to myself "So disappointing".

It's just a car for f_ck's sake...

Dear Sue (break volume)

2006-04-23T15:17:00.000+08:00

[ The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, events and dates similar to real-life counterparts are purely coincidential. ]

Dear Sue,

Sorry if I haven't replied to your email. I have been terribly busy. Indeed, the field of Social Engineering is definitely a too green a field. Much much work to do.

Tammy called me last night. I was out on a night run with the pack so I had to take it outside the arcade. Anyway, this is no lecture email, this is just a social tap.

Anyway, Tammy was calling to remind me that next week is the great day and I have to get the card running in time if I ever want to have a chance to meet M and do business. When I got back to the arcade, I was surprised at what I saw:

Two girls, apparently the girlfriends of two players were literally fighting. Apparently, one of the guys from the other group was shouting and cussing at his opponent, his opponents girl told his guy's opponent to shut up, then the girlfriend of his opponent butted in, then there it was. Good thing they calmed down after the arcade management approached. If the mall security had to come in to stop them that would have sucked.

It's really scary when two girls fight. I mean, when guys fight, we just punch each other until we see blood, and that's just that. But girls, you know, they pull each other's hair, slap each other, scratch each other with their nails, kick each other in parts I would rather not specify where, and even at worse times throw shit at each other. There is no word in the english dictionary that can describe it correctly I tell you.

And after they are calmed they still look like cats ready to pounce at each other the moment they get the chance, it's amusingly scary to watch I tell you. I hope you're not this type of girl when your guy brings you to an arcade (well unless, y'know some other girl makes a move on your guy when he's playing *laughing out loud*)

Really should've secretly took a picture *snicker snicker*

Ok that's it for this email. Before my readers stop reading my future posts. *sic*

It doesn't always happen

2006-04-11T19:36:00.000+08:00

There are days that you spend looking afar where you're standing..

I imagine myself writing this as I was overlooking the streets of Makati avenue.

A few days ago, I had a dream, which I hoped it to be just a dream.

My dad's brother flew back to Manila. I don't know who it was exactly.. just one of his brothers.

Can you imagine not seeing your brother for over 10 years, then finally getting to see him again even for just one day? I can just imagine the great feeling of finally being in touch again after not seeing each other for so long.

But of course the dream came with a twist. Guess what...

The balikbayan brother...? never even bothered to see his brother here in Manila.

Not even a local phone call.. and to think that he had a 7-day duration for his visit.

I cannot see how such a thing could be possible...

...unless perhaps I'm missing something.

Here I am both big and younger brother and make it a point to make time for people who value me, then here comes a instance of an astronomical contradiction.. But of course there is always room for exception. My dad just had a big stroke of bad luck...

of course it was just a dream.. I'm sure it was.

Man in the Middle

2006-03-30T13:59:00.000+08:00

In residential areas in the PI, there are lots of smaller Convi's (Convenience Stores) called "Sari-sari stores". These SS stores sell their products at a considerably higher mark-up than the same product you buy at a Convi. Let's take a bottle of soda for example. What would cost 10 bucks at the SS Store would only cost 9 at the Convi, and 8 at your local supermarket.

Think that's small? Multiply it by 24 (number of bottles in a case) then by 10 (the approximated maximum stackable height).

Wait, i'm not quite finished. Multiply it by X where "X" is 30. This is approximately the smallest number of stacks you can hold in a truck. Doing the math, it's 7,200 bucks at 1 peso mark-up. Now.. if you are the person in-charge of supplying SS's with drinks, you'll probably make at least 3 bucks mark-up and still be able to sell. (that was years ago, im not sure how much it is now), but if you'll see it, you'll be making around 20k per delivery. That's a lot.

That's just per delivery. Do you want to want to know how many deliveries do you actually make in a month? Yes that's right.. if your areas covered are heavy soda drinkers, you'll be raking at least 60k in gross profit. And that's PER truck. Imaging having a fleet of them...

Now can you see the big money??

All this is possible because of this business -- that is: one of being the MIDDLE MAN.

He is the guy who manages the supply and delivery from the soda plant to the sari sari store.
Depending on your connections, you can be direct to your SS store customer or have another contact to supply the trucking/shipping schedules. Looks like a really good business model right?

I should know, I know people in this business, and it's the only thing they've been doing for years, and they've gone quite the distance. Although this is really hard work.. miss out on a shipment or a supply and some other middle man will take your SS store customer away from you. Quite the cut-throat competition is it not? But hey this is how the business world works. If you won't make your customer happy, some other supplier will.. but the rewards of this business are just about worth the pains getting this business started. Truly this is one nature of business where having the skills won't spell the difference between success and failure. It's "who you know".

Imagine making that -- around 20k per delivery per truck. Where can you find 20k on the street?

Good business model right? Well it is..

Manong James

2006-03-20T19:54:00.000+08:00

I remember one of our batchmates back in highschool. We used to talk a lot about games, guns, and girls that we dreamed to put up a brothel when we became of age. Luckily reality is sometimes the saving bite rather than the rude sickle making its way into your veins everyday. We would have probably been the ones who would put up PDP if we took a turn for the worse.

Instead of being the devil's advocate, we were conquered with a different type of overwhelming lust when we got out of college. His was the lust for money while mine was the lust for uh.. peanut-designing??

Now don't get me wrong - you read it right. He is a cab driver and has an apetite for making a lot of money. Combine the low-cost, maximum benefit model with Filipino ingenuity, and what do you have? A simple rich guy. Really, he is. He rents a big flat with his wife and is rearing a kid. I can't picture other cab drivers in Manila like that. A really good number are rude to manilenos, swindling to foreigners, and don't deserve a professional driver's license.

I feel real bad for those cab drivers like my friend, because he is among the minority of those 'samaritan' drivers. I'm sure of it, matter how rowdy and horny the stories we shared back in college were, no matter how evil and corrupted our values have become now..

At the same time I admire his courage at taking the road less travelled. I'm sure many of our old friends have taken the "usual" path to living. We are definitely among the two-sides of the rare coin.

Which is why we own the world, Manong James. Really, we do..

Here's to the KABF dream one day!!

No picture

2006-03-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

The following post is a work of fiction. All names of people, places, events connected to real life are purely coincidental.

Time: Some random weekday 7:30 pm at a cafe in Podium.

Danilo Manalo, a manager in a prominent services company in ortigas, recalls his experience at having overheard at a conversation between two officeworkers. Apparently, they were part of the HR in-charge of hiring for the incumbent fiscal year.

========================================

"So pare who should we hire among the two?"

"Who are we talking about again? That chinita girl noh with the dimples and the other one with the legs that won't quit right?"

"Two?? Ok, so we're narrowing it down to two already so soon?"

"Ah yeah, I didn't like the picture of the other candidates. If we're going to shortlist, I'd put the cute ones together so it wouldn't be difficult to choose."

"Hehe I agree dude. Can't we just hire them all? They're all fresh grads so they're probably single *snicker snicker*.

"Well if I was HR manager, no questions asked. I would write off all their skill inadequacies and have trainings held."

"Hehe _____ you're really something pare. Anything just to hire them."

"But of course, I wouldn't want to be blamed for 'misrepresenting' our company by hiring people who don't look good"

========================================

Danny to self: I've heard enough. I'll definitely tell my daugther never to put her picture in her resume when she's applying for a job. She might not get hired if she does even if she is qualified for the position. Just what kind of company requires applicants to submit a picture?!

Where are we now

2006-02-26T13:58:00.000+08:00

* The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, and events mentioned which have any relation to real-life people and events are purely coincidental.

A friend of mine, Harry, was discussing with me a conversation he had with his colleague in NY during the weekend. Harry, who was raised in manila, has been in the IT business as a developer for about 4 yrs. It's a bit nerve-striking for him to have this conversation with his buddy that he had to tell his friends in manila.

His buddy in NY had been telling him about his dream about working in game company. Well most of the people in his circle of friends, who were also born in manila, were having something like that for a dream. There wasn't anything wrong at all with the conversation at all, but somehow it made Harry feel sad because he couldn't have anything to say that could match the things that Harry's pal in NY was saying.

I told him that well, his friend does not understand that not everyone is blessed with the opportunity to be sent to a foreign country to work so that he/she could get exposure, and possibly recruited for good work on a project. Couple that with the backward knowledge of IT skill here in manila, it's an uphill battle.. Imagine, competing with hundreds of foreign people for work in a pretigious gaming company in the US is like going to a casino with 200 dollars when everyone walks in there with thousands. It's not a very funny joke, I said.

When he finished ranting, I asked him, so what are you going to do now after having that conversation with your buddy? It's not like you're competing with him or anything.

Harry said that he wasn't competing, that wasn't the plan at all.. he was just plain sad. His main idea was that he regret being born in manila and not having all those opportunities.

"So it's envy then?" I asked. "No" was his reply.

It's just that having the means to achieve your dream and having the opportunity to do so should be present at the right time (usually at the same time) in order to for a skill to become of any use at all.

He was right. I've been a designer in the better half of my IT career but have always been a programmer deep inside so I know exactly how he feels.

Having heard enough of this, I told him that he's experiencing undue unhapiness because he's striving to reach something he can't reach just yet. No, I didn't tell Harry to give up on his dreams of being this and that. I just told him that you have to set your goals in sizeable, feasible and achievable targets. That way, his dream won't look so daunting. Not a word was said after this. Looks like our conversation was over.

-------------- 5 mins later ----------------

After I closed the mailbox, I was wondering if giving false hope to your friends was good. More importantly, if it IS the humane thing to do at all.. I know somewhere and somehow, he'll get to fly somewhere, like his buddy, not to NY but to any other place where he can have his opportunity and chance to work in this company he's always been talking about. He's aging. Almost 30.. I know that's still somewhat young but still.. I don't know.. there's something so wrong about it -- it's like, at his age, the world is already expecting him to get married and settle. All his dreams that he's been talking about will go down the drain.

I had dreams like those too.. once. So I know. But there's a big difference between idealism and matyrdom. When I think of him making 25 a month thousand so that he could buy a house amounting to 4 million (for example), minus living expenses, not in 10 years of working will he ever reach that dream.

Personally, I am willing to die for my dreams. But I'm not that of an idiot.

Wiseguys and good guys vol. 1

2006-02-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

One of the ultimate feats of guy's self-control is this. With a beautiful woman in front you, try working.

Wait let's make it more challenging.

Make sure she's somewhat facing you as well.. something like.. your viewing angle is perpendicular to each other.

There, can you visualize it? Good.

Then try working without breaking a stride. Not without a single smile, don't even try to steal a glance. ( somewhere 30 minutes down the line, she's going to think something "wow, he isn't noticing me or anything, am i unattractive?" or something like "wow, he's really trying hard not to stare. such a gentleman *sic*" )

Usually, it's the latter. But only the wise guys know the best way to relating with a girl easier is to put her in a position that she's at her best most noticeable self and she's still not getting your attention. Yeah that can be damn frustrating for the girl. You on the other hand, get your work done and keep working your ass off and you feel good at the end of the day for being productive.

Can you still visualize that? If your answer is yes, then yeah keep that up and you'll:

a) End up single for life (LMAO)
b) End up with most girls respecting you for being a gentleman *sic*

( I really hate "b", but I can't think of a "c" right now )

actually, there is a "c" but it's too classified to even mention.

but take it from me, you guys should try it sometimes. The main feat of practicing self-control is really fulfilling. ^_o

The perfect day

2006-02-16T09:17:00.000+08:00

Feb 14 was the perfect day.

I beat up 15 people in the Tekken machine (actually, 15 matches) in one day. It's not something I usually do, but it felt really good seeing all that training coming to fruition.

Secondly, g4's number 1 marduk player is back in the Tekken circuit (must've been single again). Yeap I know, the moment he got himself a girl, not a trace of him was ever found in glorietta. And it was like this for almost 4 months! Man, he must've been itching for a good match. So we had an epic battle. Amidst all the people watching, there's no better sight than to watch 2 pro's have at each other in a deathmatch.

Thirdly, our Philippine champion paid g4 a visit. Just watching him play is inspiring. Normal people wouldn't know it, but he emits an aura of mastery plenty of players all over manila have yet to achieve.

More importantly, I'm really glad that all that shittalk about playing for money by two players in rival teams has simmered down. I don't see the point. They'll just end up in even worse terms. Just keep on practicing, then that's that.

What the fuck were you all thinking? That I was on a date with my girl? I wouldn't take her out on Valentines day, nor would I give her flowers. It's just so plastic and it loses its meaning entirely.
If ya wanna give yer gal love, give her flowers randomly, not during some occasion where its expected.

SCREW valentines day. Next to Christmas, it's the next pathetically plastic commercial occasion.

Inspired by the Saint and I quote:
" Funny how we spend to "pretend" that love is really everywhere. Same with Christmas. "

Yeah das why I love this girl, she doesn't insist on the *bullshit.

* The word bullshit is synonymous to "icing". ^_o

Fate's practical joke

2006-02-08T13:54:00.000+08:00

The amusing thing about the events in life is that sometimes, things happen that are far too great to be coincidence.

Let's flashback a year ago at this same month. A gal pal was ranting to me-- she was supposedly on her way to France to be a flight stewardess but as bad luck would have it, diplomacy shit happened and to cut the long story short, she is still Manila now. She is working again but somehow she feels down because she really wanted that to be her big break. Now the thing that makes this whole story suck even more is that, well.. she was the only one left. All of her other friends who applied for work in France actually got to go there. Can u see what a sickass fate could be sometimes?

Back to manila, present day (3 am something)

I emailed her this early morning. I was up at around 3 am. I couldn't sleep coz I had this dream. Anyway, the week before a different friend was complaining about life - another "opportunity problem". She on the other hand, didn't know what opportunity to get - she had a choice of migrating to Australia, or working in Canada, or working in London as a hotel concierge. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with Fate!!? I just told her off and said "Well, that's yer fortune, better take advantage of it, lest it be taken away from you". I told her just that then I stoppped furthering the conversation. It would only make me feel worse for my friend (the first one I mentioned). There are so many blessed people who waste things while there are other kind DESERVING people who are left with false hope, and mind you - they are doing SOMETHING about their situation in life. They are not idling by, but it's just that fate didn't have it in for them for that I wanna screw fate one day..

Not that I'm really mean, but karma will probably take its toll on missed opportunities sooner or later. I just pray sometimes that the hands of time would run a bit slower.

It's wearing off

2006-02-06T14:45:00.000+08:00

On my way to work I take the train.

During rush hour, the train is usually full. But this day was different. The platforms were packed more than usual. Having assessed that it would take more than what would be worth my waiting time, I decided to take a round trip by riding the opposite way, then just get on the start of the line in my right way to work. So I did just that.

I was sleepy and still a bit tired so I held on the metal railing supporting the train seat. I was like a koala, yeah that's a better way to put it. Soon before the train left, the seats were full. So I was like "yeah I got mahself a seat bwahahaha".

And so after two stations, I was on the station I was previously waiting on. Then this lady in her mid 20s hopped aboard. She wasn't exceptionally pretty. She was on her way to work as well. My mind was racingly debating "should I give her my seat?". My muscles were screaming, "Hey gimme a break yo dumbass!", while my mind was saying "Well, we're all paying anway, so it's fine if ya didn't".

So it was basically a mentally no-win situation right? (as to I should give my seat)

But then it happened. Nonchalantly I involuntary stood up (like someone used the force at that time I swear), and motioned the girl to take my seat. She smiled then sat.

When I finally exited the caboose, I don't know why I didn't feel that good about letting the girl have my seat. It was probably because I was really tired, and that resting up mattered more. I dunno, maybe the next time I see a lass board and I'm sitting, I won't bother with this shit anymo.

Better yet, I'd rather just stand...

She did it for me?

2006-01-28T06:48:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I hang out with T'eena (pronounce properly) before the weekend grind. The moment I saw her, there was something really different about her. She was wearing makeup!! I went like.. wow.. and I said something like.. "ya didn't have to girl, you're great even without make-up on" (yeah I noticed. How could I not notice? Yeah I hate my being observant sometimes).

It's impressing if not reverring, that even my friends pretty themselves up when they see me. It's like.. going on a date that's not your date. Champion hehehe. And as usual the moments were golden. She forgot to bring some pictures of her party last december but she promised to do so next time. There really isn't much time left. She will be leaving the country probably by the end of this year so we have to start stocking up on good times when the social drought sets in.

Anyway, I brought up the topic on her suddenly having make-up on, and she had this long explanation as to something like she's this age and she hasn't mastered prettying herself up with make-up blah blah. Come to think of it, of all the girls I know mostly only 2/5 of them usually go with make-up on (on a regular basis). It's either they are not in the proper motivation to put on make-up or it's the type of friends I have don't have it in their habits.

Either way, make-up really made her prettier, if she isn't already pretty. Wowing guys.
And guess what, I'm lucky since im her friend, I always get the front seat. ^_^

Getting time on your side

2006-01-23T14:11:00.000+08:00

Have you noticed that I have been posting less frequently? The past week I stumbled on this time management site which reminded me of something I needed to do. I needed to whip myself into shape in terms of time management.

It says that whenever we work, more often than not, our output is only 35% of our 100% dedicated work hours (for office people, for entrepreneurs and business owners, this number is even bigger). And do you know where the remaining 65% of office productivity go to? It goes to needless chat, forum reading, eating, email checking. In my case, I didn't want to spend more than 15 mins per week browsing and posting when it came to blogging. So far so good.

So after refreshing my memory on that thing I've wanted to do - that is, MAXIMIZE my time to do productive shit, I've managed to control my blogging to this frequency. It's not that I don't like blogging anymore, it's just that we really have to face the music that: "There are a lot of things more worth spending our time on and it's just a matter of making a conscious decision and act on it".

And so it begins.

Chicken !?!

2006-01-16T09:49:00.000+08:00

I can't believe this is what I'm eating..

http://www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com/anderson-vid.asp

but well, life's like that. Obviously, a vegan had the diligence to get this up.

Wait 'till you see what happens to chickens in a slaughterhouse in hongkong.

Yes, that's right, there's more than one way of beating chickens up hehehe.

Still it makes me wonder sometimes. There are people who can't accept the fact that animals are down the food chain. They become more fruitful and multiply just so they serve as food for people. And that's that..

That would probably come from a carnivore's mouth.

Then at the other end, did the vegans know that plants are living and breathing too? The only difference in killing a plant and an animal is that plants don't squirm at all. But what if they could do that (squirm and cry as they're being killed)? Do you think the carnivores would condemn plant-slaughtering as well?

Obviously hilarious.. (well how Im looking at it), just go eat. End of story.

The School (Part 2)

2006-01-12T08:13:00.000+08:00

The school of Extragavance

I cannot think of an example for the second school other than that of the "rich dad's son" in "rich dad, poor dad". (yeah here we go again, another one of those false-hope books). Imagine being born into a wealthy family. You have mostly everything you need, plus most of what you want. And if that wasn't good enough, you have the best quality of what you need and want. Wherelse would you want to be? Because of this providence, you are not taught the value of hardwork AS MUCH AS well-to-do people do, and when hardships set in, all you do is complain.

You live each day of your life without worrying where your future will take you, because your parents can pay for your tuition fee as many times as you can fail your subjects (yeap, be an immortal student why don't you). When you graduate, your job is prepared for you by , then you work your ass off for a morsel of a thing called salary (because the allowance your parents give you is even bigger). You easily get yourself a girl, after all, you have the means to maintain a relationship. As you continue working you are eventually promoted to the VP, or the boss of your company because after all, you are a relative of the owner (screw nepotism!).

And unlike the other school, having a girlfriend isn't a problem either. All the more a boyfriend - they must be lining up in your phonebook like a menu. Eventually your relationship will grow to fruition, and you will be married. Oh, wait - you don't have to pay for your wedding, mommy and daddy will cover it as well. And you won't have to worry about housing - your parents just gave you a house as a wedding gift. So on and so forth.. there you have it - a life well-lived.

[ for the slow, my sarcasm mode has been set to ON since the start of this post ]

Putting the joke aside.. I think the second school's description is somewhat general but it is true. There are people who are born into this school. Not that I envy them. I don't. There's just something about the whole setup that I don't like. It's probably the fact that you don't need to work to hard to get something - yeah, that's probably it.

Which is why I don't like this school as well..

The school (Part 1)

2006-01-10T08:56:00.000+08:00

The school of Temperance

One of things that I hate about being born into a somewhat well-todo family is that you are not taught to be strong. You are taught instead to just live as many days as you can - that you have to "survive". And because your resources are really limited, you do not have the means to fully achieve your goals. Because of this, your competence is curtailed, your future compromised, and your self-esteem damaged. In short, the product of your mentality is a half-baked life.

The person who lives in temperance is the type who saves for a rainy day. Industrious, hardworking, straightly got their ducks in a row. For them, extragavance is sacrilege. They live a moderate life. They do think about the future, but they don't think big. The are afraid to take risks and stay in their comfort zone all their lives. Although they don't fear death, they always live their life with eternal regret of the things they didn't get to do because they were too chicken to do it or because society dictated that something was bad.

From the observation of living following this philosophy, it all boils down to one thing - you don't get to live your life fully.

I was once a member of that school. I left that school almost 9 years ago.

Looking at life as it is now, compared to being in "that" school, I can see the big difference in the quality of life that living your life in an attitude of temperance compared to that of the other school.

The other school I will discuss in another post.

Strangers are better

2006-01-06T08:48:00.000+08:00

It is one of the ultimate ironies that blessings and gifts given from strangers are much more meaningful compared to that of family. Did you know that friends are also strangers? They are classified as "familiar" strangers.

We have this family friend who works in the US who flew all the way just to see me and my family. This stranger, who has absolutely nothing to gain from being close to us, manages to be close, and gives my father a gift out of the blue. Whereas I think of my father's siblings also in the US, living the good life and they couldn't even complete a phone call - during christmas day!? We didn't care if they had a gift or not. Of the 365 days in a year, are the breaths we take more important? (practically speaking, yes *just kidding*)

Now wait a friggin' second - there must be something really warped about the world - or was it that strangers are playing the roles of siblings now?

Come on.. family can do better than that, right?

Jump Start

2006-01-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

YEAH YEAH YEAH we're back!

F_ck, it's 2006 already! And I'm still writing here?! Looks like I've writen beyond my expected interest span. You see, I wanted to give blogging a try for a year, then quit. But looks like I learned something from blogging. I consider it 'practice' to write things "of value" while at the same time speaking your mind out (without getting yourself shot).

And so we begin..

The first week of January is already packed. A birthday, 2 gatherings, 2 games to max out and a project to fill in the pieces, yeah, we are definitely on a roll.

Pampam blues

Oh yeah did I mention 3 of my old lass pals texted me at almost the same time - each with different reasons to want to see me again? There must be something wrong with the karmamometer. Was I too kind to many of my gal pals back in 2005?

Dictionary Addition

There is a new term - "karmamometer" - it's like the thermometer but it's to measure your karma instead of your body temp.

Screw the access

Did you know one reason as to why I suddenly lost the flava for posting is because we didn't have internet access for a whole month (in this place I call the office)? Talk about give and take..

The Meat

Now here's the thing - My target for 2006. It's quite simple actually, to produce PoC website that I will market the new concept in gaming that we're now into for 2006. Aside from that.. let's see.. give time and attention to the people who share theirs with me - well that's a given anyway.

and so we live on..

We can only wish

2005-12-07T10:00:00.000+08:00

..that Christmas is getting better by the year.. I don't know. Maybe it's me, or maybe the mood in Manila is the cause. It's christmas and well.. you don't feel it.

For those of you who are catholic, don't forget to go to mass today. My science teacher said you'll go to hell if you don't.

Come to think of it, living in Manila is even worse than being in hell, don't you think so?
BWAHAHAHAHA *I was joking*

I will take a yuletide vacation from posting. I will resume posting in the week between the new year and christmas holiday.

Oversleep

2005-11-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

Ever felt that feeling that you wanted to stay up really late to do this thing that you've always wanted to do? Put that into blogging sense. Really, it was because I abused this rest weekend. Next week and the whole of December will not be that relaxing (ironically).

This post will just be a bunch of tidbits chumped together. After reading Jennie's latest entry about going on hiatus, I have decided that I will take a break altogether from "prim and proper" posting and write whateva I wanna write about without givin' a shit about form. Cabish?

The new friend

I officially have this new friend. I declare shit like this because when you feel it in your bones that spending time with a person is worth it, yeaf it is nothing short of worth mentioning. We have like.. what.. 55 free games to finish? (and that's just on one card alone) =D Our arms will probably fall off after 3 rounds of air hockey. I envy her ambition - it is that of a simple life.

I cannot deny myself the desire to keep on reaching farther.
Perhaps that is why we gel well. We cancel each other out.

Invisible Girl

Invisible Girl talked me up on chat and was asking if I watched this movie. Out of courtesy, I sent her an invite. The day after, she declined.

I learned a new method of "testing the waters". I should really write this down.
Then again, when it's the ex that does the testing, it is entirely a different story.

Chickboy

I ran into my cousin last friday at Timezone. He was playing air hockey with a girl, while there was another girl watching (who was also with them). I noticed that a crowd was gathering around. Apparently that was because the girl was in a spag strap with a really low top (I don't know whatya call that, I'm a guy for friggin' sake), well the point is that almost 3/5 of her cleavage was visible, and she was playing hockey, she had to bend over to hit the puck sometimes.

I immediately texted my cousin's younger sister about what her brother was doing. Funnily, she texted back "oh really? what does she look like? is she pretty? is she well-dressed?".

Looks like this isn't the first time that this has happened.

QLC Girl

The ever-cliche Quarter-Life-Crisis sickness befell on peche. Why does she try so hard to get herself a boyfriend when I'm pretty sure she's fine by herself? I repeated the words the saint told me.. "when you realize that it's not fun anymore, crap, I'm getting hurt already, this isn't good, so its time to move on (again)". But well, persistence also exists in girls. So I'm just going to leave that on hold. I don't think I can tell her what she should do. I mean, she's a big girl already right?

Dream House

I was browsing for some 3d graphics readables, and I came upon this site which had pictures of a living room and dining room of a house in Paris. It wasn't like any of those glamorous places with a chandelier and silverware. The interior, albeit simple, was really well-designed. It had a wooden base dining table with a glass top, it had an attic and the living room had a brown couch with a knee-level living room table. There was a wall-mounted plasma TV with post-speakers, it was probably the most sophisticated piece of equipment in the whole of the house. The windows were sliding glass and there were only two portraits that hung on the wall. The overall color scheme of the place was something like pale yellow and brick red. It was simply beautiful.

If you owned a house like that in Manila, would you still want to leave?

Why you shouldn't stop (being pretty)

2005-11-23T08:27:00.000+08:00

I was looking through old photographs while cleaning at home. I was searching for stuff to recycle (and throw away). I happened to come across pictures of abandoned relatives. By "abandoned" I mean they were the people who left their husbands/wives here for other people.

When I was younger, I used to be always angry at these people, because they did the leaving. But now that I feed myself, I slowly understood these people as to why they had to go. There was a reason for it all (the wife stopped being pretty, the husband had no ambition, the wife stopped being caring and submissive, the husband had no more money). So yeah, there was something common amongst those.

Contrary to popular belief, every action that people do has a reason. No, there is no such as thing as "basta", "wala lang", "nothing". THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON.

There is always a reason why your spouse or your significant other will leave you.

A post from Jennie had this summary of behavior of men. One which will (okay, make you laugh) make you think if your actions as a man fits the observations she has made. They are for the most part, true. Men aren't really hard to read at all. She hit the nail on the head - most girls insist on the icing - she calls it the "bullshit". Way to go, girl. ^_^

Let's dig deeper. Somewhere in the posts was a phrase about keeping each other on his/her toes. It is in essence, the secret for any relationship to WORK. When I say this, I mean ANY relationship (between friends even). Keep each other cared for, don't stop being sweet after saying yes, and for fuck's sake, whenever you have sex, always do it like newlyweds.

Right now I am no longer angry with those people who did the leaving. After all, I'd rather have them be true to themselves instead of lie to the people who love them about how they really feel about the relationship. So that everyone can keep on living with their right place in the world.

(Happy) Birthday

2005-11-22T08:30:00.000+08:00

I almost forgot to celebrate the birthday of this joint.

Happy 1st birthday UWC! (oh, joy)

I started this blog first in a thought of letting off steam. Eventually, I was trying to add a little more direction to the posting - centering on "true thought". Because more than half of the blogs you read around the world all say nice things (which is usually bullshit anyway), I wanted to make a blog that people would want to say "hey that's true" whenever they read it, while at the same time, preserving the identities of the people who's annecdoted life-stories I write about. I think I am only half-there, since taking a step back and reading all my posts on the whole have only been half-satisfying.

Before I continue posting more, I'm stopping to acknowledge the people who inspired, contributed, lambasted, trashed, trash-talked, mugged, whatever, this little webspace.

1) Terms:

The ff. terms are coined from all my friends and acquaintances for this year. Namely:

- Boyfriend Unit - Cherrie
- Girlfriend Unit - still by Cherrie
(so, what happened to your kick-ass car? Or have you moved out already?)

- Fckuumoronsonofawhorefootanginafokfokkagotohel - Erica
( I really liked this one, I might even name someone in my phonebook after it BWAHAHAHA)

- Chillax - Jey (This will probably make it to the english dictionary one day, really.)

2) People:

We wish to acknowledge the ff. people who have the guts to speak their minds out aside from adding hits to the site counter bwahahaha.

Erica - How will I ever forget, the most headstrong gal since uh, Gabriela Silang? =)
Whatever shit you're takin' up, I'm sure you'll be fine. Hug Jam and Enzo for me.

Jaz - Truly, girl you should bathe in a sauna more often. It softens not just the body, but the heart.

Jey - Don't cling (at all). Although I know its hard.

Jennie - Most definitely, the #1 profoundly-spoken girl. You are both the love and hate. The world will be yours one day because of this reason. Your last post (about the opposite sex) is golden. I will write something on that note soon.

Jules - Pare I heard you're in the US right now on vacation. Lucky you. I guess that's what happens when complacence sets in. All your buddies are practicing already, and it won't hurt if you didn't finish just yet huh. Finish up and see yourself through already.

Lisa - I remember this girl posting a comment that IT rant that I made during the first few months. Don't worry, it's noted.

3) Other friends

Office - there are some friends in the office who happen to know the address of this blog. Thank you for visiting (well, just don't sit there and read - say something naman, kahit sa keyboard lang BWAHAHAHA).

The Kulasas - Yeah my friends from SSC back when they were graduating. Thanks for stopping by.
(I'm referring to Abby, Lev, and Rina).

To the rest (and anyone else I forgot to mention), thank you for dropping by..

time to live on.

Tag-A-Lore!!! Part 2

2005-11-19T08:43:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Erica

section 1 - have you ever... *
+ Cheated on someone?: Hell No! If I don't dig you, you'll be DUELY informed.
+ Been Cheated on?: Yeppers. It was an expensive lesson.
+ Fallen off the bed?: Not exactly.
+ Broken someone's heart?: Yes... Had to. I can't lie when I fell out of love...(goodness pareho tayo ng sagot Erica!)
+ Had your heart broken?: Oo nman. It did me good. I grew up.
+ Had a dream come true? I'm living one. ü
+ Done something you regret?: Yesh, I consented to breaking my rules.
+ Cheated on a test?: No thanks. I'm not cheap.

* section 2 - currently *
+ Wearing?: A long tshirt and jeans. I'm leaving once I'm done posting this.
+ Like anyone?: yeah... does Ryoko Hirosue count?
+ Location?: Las Pinas - in my launchpad. (I launch websites)
+ Chatting with?: Mitsubachi and Quiche occassionally. I'm just too busy with the craft and all..
+ Watching?: Wasabi, Collage of our Life, damn there's too many movies lined up.
+ Should REALLY be doing? getting ready for a party.
+ Brush your teeth?: You mean there are people who don't? =D
+ Have any piercings?: No. Actually, I do the piercing around here.
+ Drive?: Definitely. But crap, there are no mountain passes in manila where you can drift. =D
+ Drink?: Occassionally.
+ Smoke?: I smoke people out of the Tekken machine. But no, I wouldn't smoke just to be "in".
+ Got a cell?: Is there anyone who doesn't? Even our neighbor's dog has a celphone. The ringtoneis that of another dog barking.

* section 3 - the last person you... *
+ Hugged?: Hmm letse.. there's lil sis, gigi, tinz, claire, mymy.
+ Kissed?:
+ IMed?: ah crap. I have no time for IMs anymo.
+ Talked on the phone to?: Ah this one too many I can't remember.
+ Yelled at?: I hate sometimes myself for not learning to yell really really loud.

* section 4 - personal *
+ What do you want to be or do, when you finishschool?: To make a legacy to leave to the world, I am doing that right now. And it's all good.
+ What has been the best day of your life?: Hmm that's a toughie. There are too many best days.Maybe seeing Marian again after all these years or something hehehe.
+ What comes first in your life?: Living well, spreading well-living to others, then reaping the seeds you sow. =D
+ Do you have aboyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: too many girl friendz. No, I don't think I have time for a girlfriend now.All you have to do is experience the two things that one has when in a relationship (even if you're notin one), then you'll be fine.
+ What are you most scared of?: Being useless. The moment I become useless, would be the day I wouldn'twanna live anymore.
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed?:
Why can't my grandmother be like other grandmothers, who take a crap in the restroom and not in their clothes?
How can I edge myself in a friend's life again, one who I have been OUT of touch for almost 5 years?Why can't my pretty chinese acquaintances be filipino instead?
Would I date someone if she's older than me?
How much more do I need to save before I can migrate?Where will I stage our next photoshoot?
What game will I feature?
Shit like that.
+ Did you lose someone you really loved?: Yep. She died. It's been 9 years since.
+ Love your family?: Is that question to EVEN ASK?
+ Are you a virgin?: Would you believe me if I said yes? ^_^

* section 5 - favorite *
+ Movie: Too many.
+ Song: Snake Eater, Shake your Body, too many arg..
+ Store: Blizzard
+ Clothing Store: Dockers for my pants, Bench for shirts, Rebel for accessories (sic)
+ Relative: what the..?
+ Sport: Chess, Table Tennis, Tekken, LUMINES! (soon it will be a sport)
+ Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate marble
+ Fruit: Mango
+ Candy: Gummi candies yumyum
+ Day of the Week: No favorites. I hate tuesdays though.
+ Color: 256 pallete or 16 M pallete?

* section 6 - do you *
+ Like to give hugs?: it depends on the person.
+ Like to walk in the rain?: when it's hot yeah
+ Prefer black or blue pens?: Black
+ Like to travel?: Abroad yes, locally, crap no!
+ Sleep on your side?: huh? that kinda hurts right?
+ Have a goldfish?: before, but the cat ingeniously make its way to the aquarium and ate them.
+ Ever have the falling dream?: Hmm.. kindly expound.
+ Have stuffed animals?: The last stuffed animal I had is still here. A polar bear with a santa cap on.I lost the cap so it's just a polar bear now. It's a family hand-me-down.

* section 7 - this or that *
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: Neither. Like I said, I do the piercing.
+ Single or taken?: I'm no one's boyfriend.
+ MTV or BET?: MTV.
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: One Tree Hill!
+ Sugar or salt?: Sugar on coffee, Salt on Balot.
+ Silver or gold?: Silver. I make bullets for vampire hunters.
+ Chocolate or flowers?: neither. they don't you anywhere REAL.
+ Color or Black-and-white photos?: Color
+ M&Ms or Skittles?: Skittles!
+ Stay up late or sleep in? Stay up late!
+ Hot or cold?: Cold. Sick and tired of hot.
+ Mustard or ketchup?: I don't like either. Ketchup maybe.
+ Spring or Fall?: Spring
+ Happy or sad?: Happy
+ Wonder or amazement?: Wonder
+ Mexican or Italian?: French!
+ Candy or Soda?: Soda

Stung

2005-11-15T10:43:00.000+08:00

The month of November can be best described as "demanding". Demanding in terms of time with friends (who are born under that star). Yeah I remember reading something about people born under the sign of Scorpio - they are sticklers for loyalty. I envy them for it, coz sometimes I feel that for most people, loyalty is only skin-deep. But not for people born under this star.

-----------------------------------------

I have this close friend in the medical profession. For years (I'm counting 7) we have stayed in touch, and she is impressed that I have kept up with her whinings about quitting, complaining. But to top it off, all her other "so-called" friends have kept other company. The times they used to spend together, never happened after school. Where as I have stayed, wihtout anything in return, and she was wondering if my sign was Scorpio. I said "oh no, I'm more of a scale. I treat you the way you treat me". And so we live on. That's what Libra people are crazy about - (impossible) balance.

(truth is, we have complaints about each other. I definitely have my share. Mine is that of her availability. But well, it isn't exactly the person's fault too since it is a given to be almost completely unavailable, even to your relatives).

-----------------------------------------

My tango (yes we had that in PE before) partner's birthday is also under this star. (gack it's been what.. 9 years!) and we're still friends. I didn't exactly make it to her wedding but we still manage to stay in touch. We didn't complain about long absences. We wanted to make a name for ourselves in our craft - as gods and goddesses of system design (sic). And so we supported each other through communication.. no, we didn't need those "hey let's meet up" stuff like that. The whole point of our being friends was that the loyalty was there.

-----------------------------------------

Then there's this goddess who was cast on earth to make men drool. She ingeniously joined our college publication in the hope of saving students from the eternal mundanity of life with her company. I paid scant notice of her back then because well, we had our priorities (I was a god back then too, with the same power but on a different planet). When school ended I thought I would never encounter her again. But well, life is choice-oriented, and so a choice one day to keep the goddess in check. So now she is around, this time, known as the saint. =D

[ Happy Birthday to all of you Scorpio peeps. Keep on stingin' ]

(coz you're) Broken

2005-11-10T08:32:00.000+08:00

[ It's probably case-to-case but.. ]

My cousins from my mother's side flew back from the US to visit. After exchanging stories about family here and there, I realized that we were connected immediately after learning of his situation. His mother remarried (the old husband divorced). The new husband has a kid (too). So he is living with his stepfather and the stepfather's kid under the same roof. When I asked him how he was treating the kid of the stepfather, it could only be described as "mild neglect".

I don't even think "neglect" is a proper word to describe it. It's like.. he doesn't care at all, and he's just being civil for the sake of harmony at home. But I don't blame him at all, and I don't think what he's doing is wrong either. It's his right. In any country for that matter, why should you get along because society dictates it? (when deep down inside you know the truth is that you really don't get along well?)

One of the things that you have to deal with when marrying into a family where one (or both parents) has kids is that there is brewed confusion in terms of attention. This becomes even worse when the man and woman who just remarried have kids of their own blood. Now the offspring of both these people will be the object of jealousy of the already-existing kids. It's good if the kids have grown into adults already -- they can decide on their own and adjusting could perhaps be easier. But what if they're young?

Well the reality of it all is that, if ever you do get married, have kids and for some reason, your marriage doesn't work out, you are faced with a crisis of who should you satisfy - Your need for having someone for you, or the future of your kid. I'm sure just about now, the young child (sibling of my cousin) is probably wondering "where's my daddy and why is this stranger in the house?". Quite confusing for a child.. and well.. it's quite difficult to explain realities like that to children because it traumatizes them for life.

but other than all things said, the end result is growing up in an even-more broken family. But life must go on..

..even if you are broken.

What I really wanted (to say)

2005-11-09T08:23:00.000+08:00

[ The following post is for emotionally and socially mature audiences only. ]

I was a guest at a friend's pad a couple of weeks ago. His apartment building had this security policy that visitors had to leave their ID and sign on their log book. I was scanning the existing entries. Most of them read "OB". (meaning Official Business). I was kinda feeling pissed off that day and the last thing I needed before hanging out a friend's place is leaving my ID and all. I wrote on the log book "MYOB".

[ Mind Your Own Business ]

[ Actually I really wanted to say was, "mind your own fucking business" ]

-----------------------------------------------

One morning in the Mass Rail Transit, it was semi-rush hour. There was a lady dressed ruggedly who was struggling to get in despite the already cramped caboose. She was probably being pinned down by several people from all the pushing. She cried out in pain and muttered some sexist remark about men that they should be giving way since they are stronger and shit like that. Then some random guy yelled "just go get a cab!". The woman yelled in response "I'd get a cab if I can afford it".

[ The correct answer to that yell was "Go wake up earlier next time you oversleepin' bitch" ]

-----------------------------------------------

A friend greeted me on my birthday. I was bad because I became plastic because I replied.

[ I should have repled "It WAS a happy birthday until you texted" ]

-----------------------------------------------

One of my friends chided me that we meet, etc. I plainly said "oh ok, sure when there's time". Mind you, she is a close friend.

[ I should have said "But over the past 2 years, your availability span is only until 2 text messages in 15 minutes max, then you expect me to believe you're willing to spend time with me? ". Go fool your boyfriend. ]

-----------------------------------------------

I got up on the wrong side of the bed whole week long...

Changes

2005-10-31T18:50:00.000+08:00

In my late teen years, I have been blessed by realizing at an early age what I was suppose to do with my family heritage. It is none other than to challenge, improve and adopt it to the times.

With that comes throwing tradition out of the window.

[ I don't know exactly when I started implementing this, but ]

One of the things I practiced was, breaking the tradition of visiting loved ones on All-Saints Day. It just happens to be one of those very "commercial" occassions in Manila. I brought this up because I recently learned that one of my good friends shared this view with me while we were walking in a busy street in downtown. All it took was a hard downpour of rain, and the next thing we knew, we were at a fastfood exchanging stories of our lives.

I was impressed at hearing wisegal's stories; she seems to have little regard to family opinion, and she knows what she wants. I guess that's what happens when you strive to survive in life when there is no one to back you up. I have nothing but great respect and admiration for her.

It dawned on me that while we all have departed loved ones, we don't actually visit them when we go to cemeteries. Their souls leave their bodies. And they are where your religion says they are (yep, heaven is only for christianity, I respect all religion, so go fill in your own blanks). And the dead don't need money. Living people do. While I find it a noble act to spend and spend for occassions such as All-Saints day, I'm sure that our departed loved ones will appreciate prayers, more than ANYTHING else that you can do on earth. Nope, it's not flowers, candles, or building houses for tombs.

And the even greater thing, if I really am staunch about visiting my departed relatives -- I won't visit them on All-Saints day. I'd visit them randomly even once a year. What is more natural and comes from your heart is true, compared to doing something because everyone expects it.

Each to his/her own

2005-10-26T02:30:00.000+08:00

[ time: 2 am, one day this week ]

There was a pretty nice long email that I meant to delete before but I somehow managed to read it before I actually did (today). It was about this story about a person who sought a power career, became very successful at it but his life is broken (outside work).

The message of the email was quite strong: Family First. I won't go into further details. Everyone knows of course being with loved ones is the best feeling in the world.. NOT.

But what if you didn't have a family (anymore)? you didn't have any (good) friends...?

and the finishing kick..

..is that you don't have this "power career" that that person sought out in the email.

(let's just say instead you have a very financially challenged job, no parents to turn to for help, a broken career)

WHERE DO YOU FALL IN THAT STORY?
[ at this point, I can only classify you as one of the "Forsaken", by God, by fate, by whoever ]

And so reality knocks, "Family First" -- what family? So now what do you do? You don't even have the "able" career. Do you know the thing now that matters most??? It's just one word:

SURVIVE

Yep, "First things' First". It's not necessarily family. It depends on what your priorities are.
When I look out of the window from the N-story building where I see the skyline and people walking, I think of the many people I know who are in this predicament. They're no delinquents, they're educated, have been good sons and daughters, law-abiding citizens, but of course life usually cracks a joke at you when you least expect it to. They end up fending for themselves, no family to care for them, they only have themselves (some with special someones but that doesn't count), their challenged career. By "challenged" I mean the money that they save from working is only good for a single-life, and not in 5 years of labor will they be able to buy a house, much less a car. For those who contribute to household expenses out of utang-na-loob (debt of gratitude), the burden gets worse.

[ time: 2:30 am, same day ]

I went back to sleep. Surely there must be something better for those who slug it out on their own. Not everyone goes home to a family.. not my friend in SV, not my friend in Ortigas, not the bachelor in Dubai. I'm sure their survivial instincts are keeping them alive to this day..

[ - how's that for a post? - ]

(taken) For granted

2005-10-20T08:51:00.000+08:00

Shermie (not her real name) was complaining to me that she is so harassed at work because of the workpile that she faces everyday. She is working abroad as a professional consultant for a company. She has a car and has a house (which will be hers after a couple more monthly payments). And she has savings.

My Uncle has a US-visa, multiple-entry, indefinite. And guess what - he's in the Philippines. According to him, it's too much work when staying in the US. He should've just sold his visa so he could have money to spend here. He spends the rest of his days in manila living under the income of his wife. He is jobless by the way.

An old officemate was complaining about work. After more than 5 years of service, she is still complaining. This friend could only be described as seasoned, well-travelled and successful. But despite all that, she considers her career rotting. What the hell? A lot of people would give a kidney just to be where she is.

What's the common thing here? When I talk to people who can only wish to be in the shoes of the people I mentioned above, it is sickening, if not disgusting, to hang around with people like these.

Which why whenever you have a blessing (whatever it is, beauty, a nice butt, killer abs, money, talent, an asset) you'd better use it, or else I will be one of those people wishing that you'd lose it.

Return-On-Investment

2005-10-17T09:58:00.000+08:00

For the heck of it, I got to watch this noon-time variety show on my way to work (yeah yeah Sunday pare, and I'm fuckin' working! *yuck*) The show for this day was a "special" because they were airing live from Nagoya, Japan.

Most of the gameshow contestants were Filipinos (mostly people who have migrated there or on contract). It's funny that whenever they were asked the question "what would you do if you won [ insert amount of money here ] ?" Their answer would usually be to go back home to Manila.

[ I find it sometimes weird. Why bother going back when you can bring your family to Japan instead? ]

Well, as the case with most people who lived in Manila for the best part of their younger years, living in Japan (Nagoya / Tokyo / Osaka / wherever) sounds like a good idea. And then the people who have worked and aged there are saying that they want to go back home.

[ it's just like the saint said - "that's the way it is" ]

I mean, when do you finally say that you've made enough of the time you've invested? (working in a foreign country i mean?) When your feet are straight already? In that case, I don't pity the lazy. Rather, I pity the middle class in manila because they are ones deserving of pay commensurate to costs of living.

*************************************

Anyway, going back to Japan. In mainichi shimbun, there was this quote from a guy working in Akihabara. He said that relationships are too difficult and you get more return-on-investment when you spend it on computers. I wasn't so proud about what this guy said. My suspicions were correct. Apparently, Japan's rigid system has turned most of the populace into mindless robots. Because of this, kids nowadays think that marriage is a crap shot, and the sex industry over there flourishes. [ Not being hypocrital saying that sex is wrong; it's a matter of respect of perspective ]. Yeah, given this idea, I'd rather just work there for a while or visit, but not migrate. Nihon no bunka wa daisuki desu ga, ryoko suru dake ga hoshii.. (I am a fan of Japanese culture, but I'd only want to go there for vacation)

*************************************

I watched a movie "Wasabi" last night.
I liked Ryoko Hirosue's line -
"I want wallpaper in my room-that of a nuclear explosion. With people dancing all around to techno."

What's the future for you?

2005-10-11T10:55:00.000+08:00

I usually read Japan Today, Mainichi Shimbun, or any Japanese newspaper I come across. There was an article recently discussing about how people in their mid-20's look at their future. I was surprised at the answers of the respondents of the interviewed people in the article. Take note that we are referring to the average Japanese salaryman.

According to most of them, there are two big problems besetting the old and to-be old of Japan. The first is forced resignation from work, while the second is absence of pension. I used to think that the Japanese government could provide pension for those retired employees in their 60's. [ man, was I so wrong ]

[ that's probably why people like it in the US, because when they grow old, they have SSI pension ]

Still further reading on, I learned that the practical middle-aged japanese person was wishing that they would just die at that age instead of becoming old (because according to them, when they become old, they become useless ). What noble replies. Well I guess we can expect that from a country whose people value honor and reputation more than life itself.

Further reading, It's somewhat baffling to notice that the average employed Japanese citizen is (still) complaining about their salary. And here I thought high costs of living always meant higher salaries.

[ No wonder why Japanese (and other foreign) ex-pats like it here, because they have travel allowance and all other shit like that. Plus, if they spend their money here, they're DAMN rich. ]

By the way, did you know that a watermelon in Japan costs around P4,000? When I think about the costs of living there and that people are still complaining, no wonder why you find a lot of Japanese in Manila. Food and everything is definitely cheaper.

I sometimes think it IS better to die when you hit like.. 60? (or younger, depending if you've done everything you wanted). Just like one of the respondents said - you don't have to be a burden to your family and to society.

[ Sadly, and more overly.. if you've reached 60 and still you haven't done what you wanted to do in life, I think it would probably better to just kill yourself and save yourself years of bitter grief ]

[ and after reading that up, I am definitely not convinced that I am better off being born in Manila ]

So, how do you see your future 10 years from now?

Dear Sue Vol. 2

2005-10-08T08:01:00.000+08:00

[ The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, events and dates similar to real-life counterparts are purely coincidential. ]

Dear Sue,

Thank you for dropping by the other day for coffee. Unfortunately we are both busy people, so I won't complain if we could only spare an hour the most. Don't worry, next time maybe I'll meet you while you're shopping - so that technically makes it a whole day-meeting no?

Anyway, back to business..

You have really learned from my last e-mail. And after your last "endeavor" (don't worry, I wasn't referring to your boo-boo), it looks like you're playing your cards right this timen around. Now wait, don't get me started and all.. this time around, it's the guy's fault.

Yes, it's Robert's fault.

That guy has no balls at all.
[ I told you I'm impartial whenever it comes to the "rules of engagement", a guy is most definitely not always right ]

I have encountered guys like these before - the kind who can't tell it to your face that they like you. Here you are, making best effort to produce that environment conducive for him to tell you that he likes you; but what DOES he tell you? He asks if "if there is a chance that you could me more than friends?". That's it? And what after that? Don't worry about what you reply. Whenever it comes to admitting feelings, they are like binary digits. It's a 1 or a 0. It's Like or Not Like. It's Love or Friends-only.

As long as you didn't hear the words "I Like you" or anything more intimate than that - he is playing safe. Stay away from guys like that. They don't have what it takes to be your guy. [Yeah yeah I know you were assuming but sorry, since there is no formal documentation on feeling admittance, only those words are concrete proof. Not even all the flowers at Holland Blooms sent to your office will convey the same message].

What pissed me off also, was that when he tried to hold your hand (or anything more estrogen-producing), he stopped seeing you after you shunned his hand away. Well it's natural that you didn't let him (after all, he didn't tell you that he liked you, so why was he doing that? He hasn't "paid" so why is he "playing"?). Man, if I was that guy, and I wanted you, puta I'd do anything for a "recovery". But look, where is he now? He's probably made up his mind about you and chickened out. The loss isn't yours at all. If he can't muster the courage - THE manly courage for simple things like telling you if he really wants you or not-- while you are friends, what more if he's your husband? Much less, your boyfriend?

Eye-opening isn't it? But I know you are not sad this time, instead, smiling after realizing that the one that got away isn't always for you. Just let your nails dry, and this time, better finish those DVDs I lent you, my officemate is bugging me to return them already.

So that's it for now. Almost there.. ^_o

Regards,
Kiko

P.S. Lately, I hang out with Kelly at the mall sometimes when she needs company before her guy picks her up in the evening, so whenever you're around, join us.

The Anesthesium

2005-10-02T13:49:00.000+08:00

Surely once in your life, you have been into a mall. Have you ever stopped to think what is it about being in a mall that makes you wanna be there?

Only those who build them really know, actually.

Take a good look at the people when they're in a mall. You see all sorts of emotions, expressions on people's faces, and actions. There is a common denominator to all these. All those observed things associate themselves with 'happiness'. Have you ever seen a scandal in a mall? If ever there was, a mall's security would deal with it in a non-conscpicuous manner. They are all for avoiding "public disturbance". The only people who cry in a mall are children.

Yes I can keep on listing all these. But let's go a little deeper. When you have a problem, let's say.. you have a test the following day and are really nervous, or.. you found out that your husband is womanizing and he's not admitting it, or.. your girl cheated on you, or.. you're about to be evicted from your appartment because you pay the rent late, what do you do? You go to the mall. You shop? You hang out at a coffeeshop with your friend? You watch a movie? anything else that requires spending money? Yep, it finally went down to money eh..

Yup you better believe it - behind all that mall-talk, as long as you have money, the worries in your life will disappear momentarily.. like a powerful anesthetic. Remember that an anesthetic by definition is medicine that takes away pain temporarily. If you have a really serious problem, then you walk around in the mall seeing all happy faces of people doing that same thing you do, you just might break down and find a secluded spot where you can breathe.

But yes, malls are there for this purpose. I write in this tone because it's always easy to write about happy things and there is little substance. After realizing this other way of viewing your experience of malling, it sometimes makes sense to stay home. Coz yeah, sometimes it takes more than a mall to fix yourself up.

Acceptance of the system

2005-09-30T08:12:00.000+08:00

[ X weeks ago, in a house where families gathered ]

A girl and guy were talking.

"Kuya [not her kuya], why do people go to places like Starbucks and Seattles? Don't they know that the coffee's too expensive there?"

"Because they can."

"Ganon? You mean they're mayabang?"

"No, that's one way of looking at it. If I can do something, does that make me mayabang?"

"Ok, so ano pala yon? To prove that they're 'classy'?"

"That's another way of looking at it."

"So what's your take on it?"

"lil sis [not his sister], places like classy coffee shops aren't supposed to be viewed as places to drink coffee. Do you know that a coffee shop is actually a real-estate business? People pay rent for spending time at that place, then they drink coffee. That's one reason. The other reason is the first one I mentioned - because they can and will do that. Why do you ask?"

"What is it about people that makes them willing to pay that much for staying for a while and drinking coffee?"

"It's all part of a system. People work, so they get stressed or tired sometimes, and need to relax. For people in their mid-20's relaxing doesn't always mean spending time at home. Since they work, they make money. They aspire for better jobs - jobs that make more money. Naturally, those who have better pay want better quality service, quality places to relax, so there you have it. Coffeeshops are there to address that need of people to relax in a busy city, second to home of course."

"Despite the price?"

"If you can afford it, why would you think about the price?"

"..." [ dumbfounding silence ]

"is it hard to accept?"

"not exactly.. maybe because it's an irony that 3/4 of the population in PI is having problems making ends meet in a day and there are people that actually still can go spend their money in expensive places like that."

"my thinking was something like that too before I started working. But you see, you can't care for everybody. It's everyone for him/herself out there in the world. When you start working, let's see if you can tell me that again. As to what do you do when you can't afford it, is entirely another story.."

[ trust me little girl, you'll end up just like those people that you're talking about one day ]

Le Filler

2005-09-27T08:43:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Erica. How could I say no?

01. What is your favorite word (s)?
"So, what are you going to do?"

02. What is your least favorite word (s)?
"I don't know", "I can't", any word that connotates to a dead end.

03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Creatively? The sight of a girl in heeled sandals, or anything as beautiful.
I'll draw the rest in my head - and into my canvas.
Spiritually? Whenever I see strangers do acts of kindness. That's what I call real kindness.
Emotionally? An unexpected greeting from a friend at an unexpected time.

04. What turns you off?
People who don't know their place in other people's worlds. (they talk like they give a shit about you but in reality they don't)
People who talk but can't do.
Undue stupidity

05. What is your favorite curse word (s)?
Shit. Fuck. Holy crap.

06. What sound or noise do you love?
sticks tapping a table to a beat
synthesizers possesed by Dave Rogers
a girl friend's voice on the phone
a girl friend going ballistic when she's being teased

07. What sound or noise do you hate?
A girl crying. Weirdly I have an inkling for girls who debate instead of just cry helplessly.

08. What profession(s) other than your own would you like to attempt?
A Date doctor - I want hitch's job
A DJ
A masseur
A full-time music composer
A barista
A chef

09. What profession would you not like to do?
A priest.
A doctor.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Well done - you've figured out heaven's secret- that the true inheritors of the kingdom are those who do good and don't need to claim they know me for the credit. What the hell are people thinking - using my name to make money?"

You just have to burn some

2005-09-26T08:36:00.000+08:00

I was at a party this weekend. There was our usual circle of friends, and some family members of the host. They were really a good lot. There was the eating, the singing, the exchange of stories and ideas. Truly a blessing.

In the course of the event, more visitors came. One of them was a classmate in highschool. After exchanging pleasantries, he was ranting about other batchmates not stopping even to say hi when he meets them randomly in Makati. There was one time that he was in a train station that he saw one of them - after ignoring him once, he tries again, in an excuse, says "he's busy" but they're in the middle of the train station.

[ poor guy, highschool is over. did you really think everyone has to be nice althoughout life? ]

I didn't comment that much, just a short "that's the way it is" phrase. I wasn't in the mood to debate. When our old friend was out of earshot, the circle nodded in agreement - we decided to sever ties with people who couldn't get past "hi". Nothing more. Not that we were mean, but it was just that highschool was so jaded.

In the evening I was discussing with another friend the events of the day. It dawned upon us then that this year was the 10th year anniversary of our highschool "departure". And I'm wondering why of all the batches in all these years, we were the only batch who didn't bother to throw a party in the school during the "allotted time" for the sponsoring alumni group. And guess what - that moment, that time -- will never happen again.

The answer's really simple.

[ The true colors have finally shown. We didn't really give a shit about each other (everyone in general). We just handpicked our friends, then we just needed to graduate. ]

[ When I think of it, my inner circle of friends are the last surviving group from highschool. No other barkada other than ours is known to be intact. And we are as solid as friends-till-death ]

She's just not that into me

2005-09-22T08:44:00.000+08:00

After reading a previous post from the saint about a book entitled "He's just not that into you", I sought to read this book myself. I usually look things up first hand whenever there's some piece of controversial literature. I had a feeling I was ripped off.

Man was I so right. First off, it wasn't a male-bashing thing. That was my first impression of the book. While most of the book's after-wisdom was in small pieces, most of the examples are merely stories. Why did I say "merely"? Because everyone's story in life is different. When you're in a scenario that you are the one potentially involved in a might-be relationship, everyone's experience is unique. So in other words, not all the stuff discussed ever applies to you. Perhaps the book made its points clear:

First, that it doesn't take a genius to know that a guy doesn't want you. If we want you, we'll tell you. If we don't, we won't. If we ask you out, we only want to know you better and see what you're company's like, but we still don't like you. A guy with balls (who's really into you) will tell it to your face "I LIKE YOU", or something to that effect. Don't ASSUME.

Secondly, rejection is probably a hard fact to swallow for girls. This is true probably because only the girls usually do the rejecting. But when they get a taste of it, it's a big deal. If it isn't, then Greg and Lisa shouldn't have written the book. Guys are well.. THE masters of taking rejection. Most especially for the desperate to be in-love, this is breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The one thing about the book that makes you feel short-changed is that after reading it, you already know more or less the solution to your problem about figuring a guy out just how serious he is about you even before reading, you were just probably too stubborn to swallow it. More importantly, you were too afraid to let go of a person who wasn't on the same level of commitment as you. You girl, definitely deserve better.

See? There wasn't much new learning. Go spend your $10 on another book.

And If there was a book ever that would be the biggest lie in literature, it would be:
"She just not that into you", let's see if a girl could write that. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA =P

[ Ok, f_ck, that was a good laugh. ]

Give and take

2005-09-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

I feel bad for my last post. It was followed-up by a brain fart and so I developed an urge to write something again.

Have you ever wondered why some friends drop out of your life suddenly? It usually stems from one reason - "we aren't in-sync".

When in-sync, it means 'you two have the expectations from each other satisfied' or 'you both don't take more what you give'.

Don't worry. Did you know that when you stop communicating for a while, it is good. Not because you don't have time (which is mistakenly the cause of dispersing of your friends). It's because you know you two are still in sync even you are not talking everyday. I think that's the best level of friendship. If you have a lot of friends who are like that - you're good at keeping relationships.

The people below are those whose expectations I've got pretty set. Like they say, don't say "thank you" to your friends, because you don't ever get separated from them. Instead, be grateful. In fact I am.

Take the story of my blogging for example. The person who got me started in blogging - we rarely talk anymore, but hey whenever we bump into each other online, we still have the chemistry. (Sher)

And there's her friend, a junior in our field, who wanted the kick-ass car, and now is yearning for her independence. Screw the car ba kamo, Cherrie? =P

And of course, the sidekick, Apryll, our IT-turned nursing graduate. So, when can I have you take care of me? hehehe

And there's another one, the teacher, tv-personality wannabe. Rhia, you should really get your stuff together and audition. You won't be young forever ya'know.

Then after that, came friends I ran into by exchanging similar thoughts about religion. After a comment on her blog, there we have it - another link. ( yep, that's Jennie ).

Continuing the link, I caught an interesting site - Random scribbles of a mad Kat. Well, she isn't mad all the time hehehe. Call center people are really models for patience, damn...

Back in my college days, I was mentor to many. One of which who stayed in touch is now a successful doctor, Julsitos. If I had the money, I'd fund his campaign should he decide to run for president. (forget it pare, it's just too screwed even for an idealist like you).

Browsing from Julsitos' blog, a doctor-fan of the anime culture, I stumbled upon "My Life In a Spoon". Catchy title. Obsessed with reaching 110 lbs and drinks too much coffee. There, I had another suki. (That's jeyaiy.)

An old friend from my previous work, who programs for peanuts and writes poetry and notes for a famous local newspaper, yep, Levin is a sure-visit.

I was a fan of someone who blogged a long time ago. She stopped for a while. I didn't have the diligence to comment on every one of her posts, so after seeing that she has returned to the blogging world, look where she is on my links. =D ( yesh, that's the saint )

Of course, how could I forget - the street-smart 5'3" MBA top notcher, who's blog is definitely a frequented one, as I am always amused at the terms she uses and her experiences in makati. Oh and I am big fan of Jaz's "image" hehehe.

To all of you (and the other anonymous readers), as you're reading this, I hope you are having a good time with whatever you're doing, coz I am. ^_o

So that they can't think

2005-09-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

[ Commecial break - my brain is tired from too much brainstorming this week so I will take a different turn for this post ]

Was there ever a time that you wanted to get a truthful answer from someone? Here's a style.

Ask a question where the answer is expected.

If you don't get a reply within the expected amount of time (usually 5 seconds), then the answer is not your expected reply.

Let's site some examples:

A girl asks her boyfriend - "Do you love me?" and he doesn't answer a "yes" on-cue, he probably doesn't (anymore).
[Ask the same question to your girlfriend - if she doesn't answer, she's probably seeing someone else]

When you order someone to do a task at work within a period of time, to know if he's/she's done, ask "have you finished?"
[ if they don't reply positively immediately, or they're making excuses or muttering, most definitely they ain't ]

Even better. Ask your girlfriend (you suspect to be two-timing)
"Are you seeing him?" ( your guess of the correct reply is as good as mine )

Take note that the "expected reply" to a question may not be necessarily a "yes" or "no".

The secret behind this principle is that everything that is proper and correct doesn't cause your brain to function. You don't need to conjure a good excuse because you're telling the truth. And well, the nice thing about the truth is it's usually natural. But just because it is natural means that's is easy to accept.

Use this method with caution though. You can only try this on people whom you are close with. You'll end up offending a casual friend if you try this on them. Unless... you really mean to want to be close to them, you're going to have to start from somewhere right? =)

You can't keep them all

2005-09-12T23:37:00.000+08:00

This afternoon, I ran into a co-worker at my previous place of work who was making a courtesy call to a potential client. She knew me by face, while I knew her by name. I didn't want to put her in an awkward situation by addressing her by her first name coz I knew she didn't know my name (nor my nickname). There was only casual chatting, from which I found out that she has also joined the "departed" of that company. Anyway, the moment was finally over, and I don't know when we would run into each other again.

I wish I didn't have to remember people's faces (who I don't closely work with) so I can be naturally ignorant of them. Well anyway..

I was purging my mailbox of old emails in the evening. I haven't been able to archive in months so it took me a while before I actually finished. In the course of sifting through old emails, I came across one in my "Lessons" folder. It was from a friend back the school publication. We weren't exactly close back then, but after college, well, because of common friends we ended up exchanging emails occassionally. This one email I saved because I really needed to read it whenever I feel that most of my friends are slipping away from me. Most of the message is saying something like this:

"that's the way life is - we're going to have to let go of some things in order to have other things. The same goes with friends. I've made a lot of friends back in college (so many that every 50 meters I walk on campus, someone greets me), but just because those were happy times means that they'll be there forever. That's why we have to let go of some friends. It doesn't mean that we abhor them. It's a fact of life that we can't devote the same amount of time to everyone - we have to make choices".

Man, was she so right. I have surrendered the idea that I can actually keep all of my friends warm and fuzzy. This is doubly stressful if you're a people person. You can know all sorts of people but not be genuinely interested in them.

In reality, we are all like that - we decide on who we want to spend the minutes of our day - texting, greeting, emailing people. Some, forwards, non-sense shit even, yet there are people who, even if you don't do those things, or spare a bit of your attention to, still bother to say hi.

After reading this email yet again, I continued to purge my mailbox.

As I was going for the inbox this time - I deleted a couple of friendly emails from people I didn't bother replying to... nah, I didn't feel bad at all. That was just the true thing to do. Well, it's better than replying plasticly, right?

[ That friend in the publication who taught me all this - we are very good friends to this day, although we barely talk in a month. I know a dozen more people like this, and I think they are the real friends. ]

Sun-Tzu is the man

2005-09-08T08:15:00.000+08:00

I decided to go on a blogger link expedition and I chanced upon this link from the saint. It is that of Sun-Tzu's art of war.

I have read books on these since long ago, yet I never fail to get excited reading it again. It contains almost everything you need to and have to do to survive in the world, be it in life, your career, or in a game even. It is exactly just as as he keeps describing - about heaven and earth, and the elements.. yeah chinese philosopher's own. As a matter of fact, if you delve into chapter's 3 and 4 of it, it talks about strategy and tactics. That is probably among the most applicable. Most of his teachings on war are so frigging true that even Japanese companies apply it. Do you know that even Akio Morita, the late president of the Sony Corporation applies this philosophy? He's japanese - probably among the most innovative and visionary minds in the world. Even Bruce Lee, in his teachings of Jeet-Kun-Do, talks about "the art of fighting without fighting" - again a passage in The Art of War. It is next to murphy's law on my philosophies. For those of you who are feeling disappointed about what'cha wanna do in your life, you should read it. If you have read it, read it again. Your vigor will be refreshed.

To think someone back a long-time ago already knew what had to be done to survive in life, I wonder where most of us were when the one up there was giving philiosophy lessons.

Tapsi-turvy world

2005-09-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

[ after the fiction break, we now return to our real-life blogging. Note that all narrations are happening at almost exactly the same time ]

I was looking over a coffee shop window before sitting down to write this. There are moments when I worry for my friends more than my own shit that I have to deal with. Today was one of those days.

-----------------------------------------------------

One of my friends is in a dilemma as to his options with a girl that indirectly rejected him. To put it bluntly, she didn't say "no". I learned this new reason (or perhaps a new excuse) that girls use -- it goes something like "because I don't look at you that way". As being the usual stubborn person my friend is - I gave him two options disregarding the consequences- it's to give up or to make an effort.
Not that I was insisting on my advice. I just simplified all the probabilities he was yapping about. I sometimes pity him because he is the type of person who always considers *options*. In short, if there was a girl with a sharp mind that he was dating - that's definitely a sign of not being boyfriend-material.

-----------------------------------------------------

After almost a year of single-blessedness, another one of my friends is steadily dating again. There's just one problem, er.. issue.. The girl has a boyfriend. What the hell...? well, do I hear the karma lady knocking at the door? Yeah definitely interesting affair.. someone's going to get broken and I don't think it's going to be my friend.

-----------------------------------------------------

I remember posting an entry about my old friend in prep who got out of a 3-year relationship. After all this time, he's still feeling raw about it.. he must really love her. And it's his birthday soon. He should be happy, he can spend his birthday funds all for himself. Who is he kidding? That's what we'll be there for - for more beer. I can see minutes of a vision - the one of a drunk guy crying.. He is broken, shattered, scarred, devastated, I can't bear to describe it any further.

To the girl - don't fret. You are still my friend, but since he's my good friend too, don't make me compare yourself to my friendship with him.

-----------------------------------------------------

As I was having dinner at the mall food court, I ran into a familiar couple. Former officemates. I learned from a 3rd party that.. they aren't a couple anymore coz the guy broke up with her. I'm friends with both of them so I couldn't exactly take sides. I felt as if I could see a different face unmasking from the smiling girl - the smile that breaks into tears if you keep looking a little longer. It will be all over soon.. she will be having a season of sadness for months to come.

-----------------------------------------------------

what the hell is happening to my friends?

Everyone is doing one of two things- the first is moving on, while the second is feeling the grief of loss.

It is depressing just listening to all these, if not pitiful. However somehow these problems are still shallow compared to money matters, but they bring a different kind of excrutiating pain - the kind that tells you that you're not dead (yet), and yet you wish you were dead.

I wonder if there's such a thing called an "excruciating pain inducer". Fate has been drinking too much, so she's probably sending it out to the wrong people - which is why I wish that the RIGHT people drink it instead. ^_^

Dear Sue

2005-08-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, events and dates similar to real-life counterparts are purely coincidential.

Dear Sue,

Yo gurl, thanks for emailing again. Yes I know you are still gritting your teeth in regret over the latest happening in your life. Specifically - that you ALMOST had a boyfriend. But like they say, "practice makes perfect". There is a book I'd recommend for you to read. It is entitled "I miss him, but my aim's improving". I forgot the name of the author - nevermind, he's probably dead by now (if the author is a "he").

I can go on and on about my lessons in love, but I'm only going to reiterate the basic things as I know you have a turbo-charged lifestyle and as your male friend, I have to deliver the hurting truth to you. Coz I know that even if we have words once in a while, we always manage to prop ourselves back up to good terms.

So, here goes.

My post-mortem of your "lesson". I would really like to blame Karl for this whole thing, but so sorry to say dear friend - it's your fault. You gave him a reason not to pursue you any further. You let out on one of the things girls should never tell a guy they like.

I am referring to your rant about guys promising heaven and earth and you keeping them waiting for eons. Then soon after, you realize that in a matter of weeks of not texting you, you learn from others that he has a girlfriend. How could anyone ever send a text message like that to him (of all people) BY MISTAKE? I can't believe you were exchanging texts with Lea about it, and your thumb happened to enter his name in the recipient list. You completely lost your composure when his attitude toward you started turning cold in the days that followed. No matter how sweet you tried to be, he lost the look in his eyes when he drew a picture in his head that his prospective girlfriend didn't know how to risk trusting a guy... in short - you weren't girlfriend material.

The moment you find that you couldn't trust a guy who woos you 200%, you are just wasting your time. He is also wasting his time convincing himself that he his girl trusts him, only to be get a front-row seat of your mind in motion.

And yeah don't even start with that crap about guys being boleros. If that was true, then your mom would bitch that you are an accident in the backseat. But no, she loves you a lot, and so does your dad. You have a complete happy family so you're just reacting to the pain you feel.

Back on-topic, why did you hesitate when he asked you to be his the first time? Your excuse was pathetic - "I'm not in the mood to be in a relationship", but your thoughts were snickering "hahaha he likes me, I'll make him wait a little more to see just how far he'll go". What did you have to do that for if you liked him too? You needed some kind of "initial cash deposit" or something? It's amazing how you have the gall to do this. You needed an ego booster or something? (at the expense of the prospective-most important person in your life of people). This is part of the "rules of engagement" so guys accept this without too much complaining. If I didn't know you and your personality I wouldn't scold you like this, but since you have this type of personality, I'm so sorry.. I have to tell this to your face - he deserves better.

Before you complain the next time about guys being players, picture this - a girl will just wait for her nails to dry. Someone will text, someone will ask you out, etc. You don't have to spend a buck (texting back is not counted). All you have to do is smile and set aside sometime for a guy (which he also does, so it cancels out), then make him comfy enough to make him ask you to be his. And voila! You've got yourself a boyfriend. And even if you say "yes", you still have a lot of guys lining up at your door. You can always leave your boyfriend for another guy if you don't want him, so all's fair ^_o.

Thing is - guys also know for a fact, that a pretty girl such as yourself is being texted by not just one guy. And a sensible guy can also tell if you're interested in him. If you really want him too but you send the wrong signals.. (such like disinterest or hesitation-type excuses) it's over even before it has even started. Guys don't like girls who raise their ego by holding them up and making them wait with baited breath just for ego's sake. It's a turn-off. It's 2005 already, no longer 1970. So smell the coffee and adjust.

I've said too much already.. So I'll end it here. I don't think I can do anything more to ease your pain. Karl is gone. And he will find a girl who trusts him more than you can. And until you have the guts to risk it like his girlfriend did when she said 'yes', keep on lunching with your friends at RP and stay single!! =)

Regards,
Kiko

P.S. because of your latest "mishap", I will indefinitely postpone introducing my friend Robert to you, since I believe band-aids are unnecessary at this point in your life.

Playing along

2005-08-21T13:05:00.000+08:00

Well I'm game when Jennie tagged me [waving to everyone]

1. What are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?

Watching anime torrents, thinking of new concoctions for my website, gaming (console, handheld, PC, arcade), reading (come to think of it I haven't read a book in weeks) I last read "Anyone can do it" - The story of Coffee Republic in the UK, there's a book I'm trying to look for but I've been busy with other shit that I haven't had the time to get to that, there's also learning french, about a phrase a day. It's slow but if I had the money to support myself while studying formally, I'd quit work for a while just for that; composing background music for websites - I'm learning how to use Cakewalk and Arturia Moog (it's a program for authoring/directing synthesized music).

2. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?

Listening to Super Eurobeat music (yeah, those 12" vinyl things from Italy have digital versions remastered in Japan); texting a random friend in my phonebook; Lying face up on the bed staring at the ceiling; Sitting at a coffee shop enjoying the view; Thinking about the pretty girl I saw on the ride the other day, to name a few (superpowers of being single bwahahaha)

3. Tag five friends and ask them to post this:

Jey
Jazz
Jules
Cherie
Rhia
Sheryl (bakit ba, I want 6 people eh)

Filipino Traits that suck. vol. 5

2005-08-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

The future is now screwed

I was on my ride home. Seated next to me were a mother and daughter. The daugher looked around pre-teen age. I was texting on my cellphone when the mother was talking about getting the latest phone from Sony Ericsson. My current phone happened to be a dated model of that brand. The mother called my attention and asked me a few questions about my phone. The conversion was in earshot of everyone in sight.

"Um, excuse me. What model is that phone? It's an Ericsson isn't it?" (in fluent fluent english)

"Ah yep. It's a P8 (P800)"

"But that's not the latest model isn't it?"

"Oh no it isn't. This is a dated model."

"What applications does your phone have?"

"Oh, not much, the usual stuff a phone has, a couple of games I installed on my own, and some multimedia files."

"So you mean it doesn't have a word processor or excel man lang?"

"Oh no, it doesn't. You have to download and install it. But for this model, it's not a good idea to use for stuff like that."

"Ah, so it's not a like pocket PC then?"

"Um, no it isn't po."

"Oh ok, thanks".

Then the mother turned to her daugher and said:

"See, good thing we didn't buy that model, it has very limited features."

THANK GOD I was tired and melancholic during those moments. I kept quiet.

What I really wanted to say was something like:

"What THE FUCK does the latest model of a phone have to do with having one (a phone)?" or
"Only idiots buy cellphones with computer applications. Some things are really meant for desktop or laptops only" or, even
"How old are you, you little bitch? Do you really need a celphone at school?"

The little girl spoke english and taglish throughout the trip. They weren't talking about anything useful, only phone models and friends. I feel sorry for this kid for she will grow up a helpless spoiled brat with her mother feeding her until she marries.

And what's up with the mother's remark? I mean, I know it's an OLD OLD OLD phone, but did she really have to say THAT?! If someone offered you a lighter and oil to burn your phone because it's dated, what would you do??

I thought the "family" was the most solid, upright foundation of a society. Now, with well-to-do families like this one, who don't give a shit about manners, even the future is now screwed..

Kiyosaki's success is only his

2005-08-10T22:30:00.000+08:00

If there was any book that would really make you seriously question your religion - it would be none other than the "Da Vinci Code". Dan Brown should be cloned.

And if there was any book that would make you question the system of working in the world, it would be "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. After reading this book - it will make you not want to work (as an employee) ever again.

But there is distinct difference among the two - the first is more believeable, while the latter is more coincidental.

It is really nice to read passages like "you can be rich". Who doesn't? But the thing is, it's the selling point of the book - and THAT only. For one, you can't possibly buy property on credit and sell it for twice the price without even paying the property in full in any country (for those of you who have read the book). That was how he started out in "building his asset column".

The book was humor for the educated middle class and MJ for the wealthy. There is something seriously wrong with some of the statements the book says like:

Commanding higher pay will only bring more taxes and is not the way to go
- He's really off when he said this one. There are two key points here that he should really have stressed. First your per-hour income is higher. Taxes and death are permanent in life so you just have to deal with them like everyone else does. Secondly, and the most important point is controlling your spending habits. In other words - CONTROL YOUR GREED. It's damn damn true that the moment you raise your spending habits commensurate to your standard of living, there you go - you're definitely going to live as a healthy, fat rat for the rest of your life.

Seeking a career after college only makes your employer successful
- Perhaps this is true also in respect to the person seeking the career. This point really pisses a lot of people off. Why didn't school teach you this? (If you're not a business-degree student, you would be thinking this way initially). I don't know. If this way is absolutely true, then studying would be useless and they should have just enrolled everyone in a business school instead.

If there were some things the book should have said (but they wouldn't because the book would have a bad rep if they did), it would be:

Not everyone has the same opportunities
- Yeah, I mean seriously. Not everyone is born from a wealthy family, and not everyone has the financial education and sound spending-sense, more importantly, the financial capacity to. If you happen to wake up everyday of your life not wondering where your next meal's coming from, then good for you. If you know that it was your hard work that paid off and that you own a business because of your hard work, all the better. YOU DESERVE TO BE RICH.

Kiyosaki was basically saying that anyone can be like him. That's bullcrap, given the same amount of time to every living soul of earth. (but again, the book has to sell, so why stress a point like that huh?).

Not to worry. Kiyosaki has a couple of saving graces. I will discuss them in another post.

But I'll leave it at the idea that this book wasn't for the poor and middle class people to read.. if you read it wrongly and without proper wisdom and ATTITUDE, it will drive you crazy.

Be sure to complain

2005-08-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

One weekend ago, I met with old office-friends to head for Batangas for a child christening. As it was the usual, the exchange of old stories with jokes came. One of my married officemates was teasing me towards this girl at my previous place of work.. No.. actually they were teasing me because of a peculiar habit that I had during that time.

[ flashback, May 2004 ]

Every morning for around 3 months, I used to bring a bottle of mineral water for one of my friends. (I didn't miss a single day that I had time to). We don't talk everyday as I have many things to do (I make sure my day is loaded). It's not like we were going out or anything. It's just one of those habits that grew. I make sure I have a softspot in my head for people who are nice to me. Anyway, enough of all that.

[ end of flashback ]

The point of the story was - my officemate who was teasing me about that was really stressing the habit. To finally make her stop - I tactlessly pointed out that she was probably silently complaining to her husband as to why he never did anything as thoughtful as that daily gesture conveyed.

Man, did I hit the nail on the head. Everyone started teasing her now. I won't be wondering if ever she would now be making "tampo" to her husband. [ They'll probably kill me for saying all this, hehehe ]

True enough, as far as courting and pre-marriage stories made its way to my ear, I have never heard of any really uber-sweet thing from them. If ever they did have a sweet moment, it's a given because they're officially a couple (boyfriend and girlfriend).

I think that's it - the difference of thoughtfulness when you're in a relationship is the mental reservation that you have priority from your significant other - and that kills the level of appreciation.

My officemate stopped teasing after that. And the topic never made its way to the teasing table ever again.

Was it really a big deal? I mean, it doesn't take much effort to put a smile on someone's face, even if, for fuck's sake, it's just one day, right? You will never forget the happy sensation you get from doing that small thing..

[ Thought this post wouldn't make it with one bit of profanity? ye all guessed wrong! mwahahahaha ]

Fool around won'tcha girl?

2005-08-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

It has really been an amusing 2 months. In that span of time, I have 4 friends who have gone to splitsville. I really want to feel sad for those people, but somehow I don't. I feel that when relationships end, the truth finally comes out. No more time is wasted for two people. The one who left finally let out the truth, while the one who got left behind has his/her time to their own and can spend it on more worthwhile things.

Anyway, this week, a girl friend was texting me. She was in paranoia because her guy is texting this new girl he met through a common friend. And that they are planning to meet.

Now hold on a moment. Don't you all go calling the guy an infidel. The girlfriend (my friend) is aware of all of this. Secondly..

..secondly, my friend (if ever her guy will leave her for this new girl) deserves it. Why??

Because she fooled around with a guy before. To add insult to injury, the boyfriend found out about it when the affair was almost ending. But he endured it. Because of this act of stupidity of the boyfriend, I have high respect for him. But despite all that, here's fate, playing a game and turning the tables on my friend girl (If I was the guy, I would have left her). He's definitely solid bf material and my friend is well... she's got a lot of crying and nail polishing to do.

Now that this is all in her face, she can't do shit because her boyfriend is holding all the cards. She can't rat out to him because she fooled around before and he forgave her. Now, if my hunch is right (Fuck I hope I'm wrong), he'll break up with her for this girl. It's nothing short of sweet sweet KARMA.

and to shove a point up my friend - I reminded her of what love is -- making someone happy even if it means you not being part of it. She was dumbfounded (almost to tears), but I consoled her afterwards. I don't know.. I don't really feel sorry for her at this instance.

So now, I'm knocking on a large block of wood. :D

A heartbreak, a birthday and a gathering

2005-07-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

A couple of days ago one of my friends came up to me in tears. Her boyfriend broke up with her and was looking for someone.. anyone to talk to. I guess this is one of those times where your friendship is tested in terms of making time for people who need you.

The weird thing about this was.. deep down inside, I felt that I was sobbing louder than my friend was.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was an old friend's birthday today. I texted her greetings and she replied with "hu u?". I really wanted to reply to the message but I was hurt to the point that I didn't bother texting back. This was the third time that she asked me who I was after texting, and I didn't want to tell her who I was a third time.

I am probably among the stupidest thoughtful souls on earth. Where can you find people who remember your birthday without looking at a birthday reminder- And actually make an effort to greet you?

I really should stop this habit.. of giving more love than what you're getting.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had a reunion of old friends at work. After exchanging stories and the usual pleasantries, I could really feel that so much time has passed.. so much time has been invested on the wrong people, the wrong company, and (sigh) the wrong girl...

...and life is coming at me too fast to keep up.

The lady you shouldn't be like

2005-07-22T08:33:00.000+08:00

Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities to names, places or events is coincidential

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in my father's hometown, there was this lady who married a very successful businessman. This lady came from a wealthy family, the youngest of 4 sisters, so she did not have to work a single day in her life eversince she was born. Even though she married into this businessman's family, she still didn't work (or even bother to). Other than making babies, she was a useless wife. She never cleaned, cooked, or do laundry in their household. There were always servants who did that for the family. Even when their maid left them, she still refused to cook, clean for the family, lest even do the simplest of chores. In short, she was a spoiled senorita. All she did was get the hard-earned money her husband would give her and spend it lavishly buying appliances. She was living a good life. If this lifestyle was not loatheful, her attitude was even worse. Eversince she was a maiden, she was fond of telling tall tales aboutthings and people just for sake of telling stories. It was even known eventually when the people she was talking about talked to each other,that they were just being rumored due to the false stories that this lady had been telling their neighbors. She found it amusing, while others were greatly angered by this habit of hers. Even when they migrated to the US, this lady, in her old age was living with one of her children's families. This proved to be a great plight for her hosts. Her real colors showed and the children were enduring her attitude of capriciousness and lavish living. Almost naturally, she was trying to make the husbands and wives of her children quarrel amongst each other. At first it was hard to believe, but eventually, it was apparent that the same story of her attitude was common to all the children's families that she spent time with. No one wanted to take care of her anymore. Not even her grandchildren were close to her. This is because she never had the heart to take care of any of her grandchildren.

Whenever she feels like it, she calls to the stranger walking at the sidewalk in front of her house. She would offer them food (that her husband would worked so hard to feed the family) - anything just to chat. It seems that this has been the only thing she has been good at - telling stories. At this day and age, this is quite dangerous since inviting a complete stranger into your house opens up a lot of possibilities for being burglared, etc.

So in their ripe old age, when it finally came to a point that the family of the husband could not take it anymore, the husband divorced this lady in her old age. At first, the children of the businessman were against this decision, but in time, they saw with their own eyes these longsince traits that this lady had. It became a lesson for their whole family. In their whole clan, there had been no one as useless as this person. When she was sent back to the Philippines, not even her other sisters would want to take care of her. There are 7 of her sons and daughters in the US with her but none of them could bear with her attitude either. The last of her sisters who did try to take her in ended up hating her even more because of her inconsiderate nature. Now, no one of their family in the US would ever talk to her, she was sent here by all of them because no one wanted her anymore. She would just be left here to die in her old age as a useless old lady. To this day, she still reeks of laziness and continues this philosophy in the remainder of her days.

By the way, this old lady is my father's mother.

The powers

2005-07-19T08:25:00.000+08:00

One evening I was walking with a gal pal in greenbelt when we ran into one of our arcade angels (girl barkada arcade goers). Upon seeing us, she walked over and kissed me on the cheek. My gal pal was just NR (no reaction). After dispensing the usual pleasantries, we bid each other goodbye. Then my gal pal and I went on walking. Once we were out of earshot, she chided "grabe, chikboy ka talaga" (god, you're such a playboy). I snapped back on reaction "huh? she's my friend, duh". "Yeah so if she's your friend, why does she have to kiss you?"..

[ At this point I really wanted to yell " because you've been raised in a cave and she's been raised in the city !" ]

(The girl we ran into -- she's just like that. Not that I'm complaining about her being generous in her affection. She's no easy girl, she happens to be very respectable.)

..instead I just returned with "then kiss me too if you're envious, hahaha". She finally shut her trap after that. She doesn't seem to realize that some people's values aren't as tight as hers, and that it's 2005, not 1980. Come to think of it, the gal pal I was with is supposed to be closer to me than the girl we ran into but she never did kiss any guy she ran into at all.

I know the remedy just for her - she needs a boyfriend.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was lining up to have the stuff I bought at a convi punched. There was this girl in front of me, tall and rather pretty. She stepped on my foot by accident. That wasn't bad.. (Yeah I'm sure.. two inch-heels stepping on my foot wasn't bad). The girl apologized aptly so I gave her an "it's okay" wave. If she wasn't with some guy, I would have prodded her to step on my other foot so I could get angry and so she could apologize a little more then we'd share a table.

That was the second time someone stepped on my foot this week. The other time was a line at an arcade. Again by a pretty girl (again with a guy). I wonder what is it about my foot that girls want to step on it.

Or could it be.. that I'm standing too close? ^_^ [ Like hell I'd do that ]

The new worse-than-death fate

2005-07-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

I am doing myself one moment of profoundness. I never want to talk about the political situation in the Philippines in the cybercafe because I have stopped believing in the power of words a long long time ago... (and after being inspired by my exposure to post-secret, I will throw tact out of the window once again)

Have you ever been in a situation that your hand was caught while holding the frame of a closing door? The difference of this from the usual accident is that the door was closed with a really strong force. The force was so strong that it broke every bone in your hand, left a big break in your palm, heavily bleeding. Then you were scheduled to have surgery to have the nerves in your hand treated and a lot of bandages. Then after months of waiting for the wound to heal, your hand undergoes rehabilitation. Then finally, your hand heals completely.

The next time you see that familiar door that you used to comfortably place your hand on to lean on, you hesitate as to whether you want to ever try holding on to that door no matter how many times the person who closed the door (by accident or not) promised never to do it again.

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO EDUCATED PEOPLE'S HOPE FOR THE PHILIPPINES

Smashed beyond full-recovery, scarred for life, and forever with a doubt of things ever being the same...

I have nothing but false hopes and wishes for the future of this country as long as those who wield power in the Philippines are not doing their part. If there are people deserving of good things in this country - it's those who labor hard. Those who create value, those who do their share in building a nation's economy. Yes, it's you, who gets to surf and read this post - you know you have money you earn from working. You are doing our nation a great service and I salute you. You, the member of the workforce, the businessman, the saleslady, the call-center agent, the engineer, the doctor, the designer - you do not need to do anything extraordinary. You have already paid your dues in full by paying taxes. There is nothing more for you to do than cuss at the quality of public service we're getting.

And I salute you, the student, who is aspiring to land a good job or run a business here. May your burning enthusiasm light the fire of perseverance in us all and give us consolation in our tired and trying times. May your being the son or daugher of a rich family not blind you from seeing the responsibility that comes with your blessings. And those born of the low and middle class, I spare a thought for you - you are perhaps the only future hope of our country.

Ok, that didn't sound much like me - it's like some sort of prayer, bwahaha

But that felt good - getting to take all that shit out of my head. I am too busy for worthless things like Philippine politics. Maybe when I see something really happening (which is like.. 2000 years from now, I'll be very dead by then).

Peace out

Adipsia Hypernatremia Syndrome

2005-07-11T08:46:00.000+08:00

I heard this from a friend in the medical profession. She was going to report on this disease in their medical conference. This syndrome is characterized by the absence of feeling of thirst (when one is thirsty). I didn't believe that such a thing could exist. Imagine - not feeling thirsty when you're thirsty - it's close to dying from dehydration.

Now I just had a thought - there must a good version of this Adipsia Hyperwhatchamacallit syndrome. What if there was an "absence of love" version of it? That would be good for career-focused people. Not feeling the need for love (when you actually need it) helps you to continue happily with your career goals without hesitation. More importantly, it helps you get more things done in your life since you've making more time for other things.

I know a friend who might need this syndrome. She is 27, and is losing hope of finding a boyfriend. She is pretty and all, but I guess there are just some people who haven't been dealt the hand they wanted. I wonder how this disease is contracted - I might want one too hehehe

Those times

2005-07-01T07:59:00.000+08:00

3 girls in one night

I always believe in coincidence.

I met 3 girls last night. On the way back to civilation after work, I had to take a detour because the pedestrian underpass being closed to foot traffic. The first girl was introduced to me when I met an old officemate on the way to the mall. He had to go the other way when we headed to some intersection so me and his friend were chatting for some while all the way to and into the mall. She seemed nice and sounded innocent for her age. The second and third encounter was an even cooler coincidence. I was on my way to the ride home and I had to take a leak. The nearest restroom was already closed, so I had to go back in the mall and head to the cinema level, which I'm sure was definitely still open. When I stepped on the escalator on the way up, another former babelicious girl officemate with her friend was on their way up too. I quickly tugged her sleeve pretending to be a stranger asking for directions. She whirled and was a bit shocked/surprised/elated to see me. She also introduced me to her friend (which she brags to me as her best friend). It was the perfect time to run into that friend of mine because it was her last day at work so I was goading her to treat us to coffee. I know I would be wealthy faster than she would ever have time for coffee but I asked anyway. I bid them good evening and headed my way. We just texted a bit for the rest of the evening.

( just what were you ppl thinking when you were reading the title? )

In and out

Two milestone events occured recently. I ran into an old friend (as old as when we were in prep). After exchanging the usual pleasantries, I asked him how his miel was doin. They were no longer a couple, was his reply. She left him (for a guy with a car). (Not to brag, but I'll vouch my prep buddy is definitely boyfriend-material.) So, after almost 3 years, he's free again. He should have taken my advice. He should've gotten a car instead. =D Had he stayed single that long, he would have made enough to buy a decent pre-owned one. Then he would have gotten a girl that wouldn't leave him (for a guy with a car, BWAHAHAHA).

[ yes, as you noticed, I have an inkling for relationships when only the guy has a car. I will discuss that in another post ]

Moving on, another one of my gal friends has formally press-released that she is officially in a relationship. Now that I had something to do with. She was getting impatient as the guy was playing it safe too long. Finally it's out in the open. I hope this one's for the long haul.

Here's the thing - In both accounts I am happy :D

Filipino traits that suck vol. 4

2005-06-28T12:00:00.000+08:00

THE DISGUSTING CRAB

[ For dummies: The crab mentality - is named after the nature of a crab's behavior in a basket full of other crabs. All the crabs try to make their way up and out of the basket, stepping on other crab's who are also struggling to get out of the basket. Because of this cyclic behavior, none of the crabs ever get out of the basket. ]

An old acquaintance messaged me while I was online. She said that she was finally getting her migration papers arranged after a long time. I thought, "good for you, I'm happy that you're getting things done". In my head I was saying "Don't be a pobre, be a model for others when you get there".

I remember this person heatedly debating with me before that life is better in the Philippines. If I had anything on her, that was it. All that speech about "living a good life here blah blah". And she's migrating? It's quite amusing, if not saddening. It just furthers the theory that people should just shut up and do things instead of speak and speak.

Anyway, back to my "don't be a pobre" advice. I remember once I was in another country walking the city's streets, I run into hundreds of foreigners. For every 50 I would run into, around 2 would smile and greet a complete stranger "howdy!", or "good day", or "have a nice day".

I admire them. Do you know that it takes a greeting from a stranger to brighten up your day more than when someone familiar greets you?

Now if you're filipino and you're in that same foreign city, for every other filipno you'll meet however, when you smile at them, you'll get the "ba't ka andito" (Why are you here?) look. And if it isn't your day, it follows a loathing look. The type that wishes you weren't there.

When you see foreigners in manila, they don't give their fellow german, french, americans, japanese, singaporeans, malaysians, chinese the "WTF are you doing here?" look. In fact it makes them feel more at home to see their citizens of their country in manila too.

[ postsecret mode ON ]
WTF is wrong with you stoopid flips?!
[ postsecret mode OFF ]

This is the general impression I get when you see NEW Filipinos abroad when they meet their "kababayan" (fellow countrymen). They have this urge to put down the ones that are already there. Take note I specifically mentioned "NEW". For those who have lived some years there, this syndrome rubs off. They have adopted the foreigner way of making fellow flips feel at home. My take is that there is an air of envy for those who have been there just now and those who have migrated before. I don't know what is the big deal behind all this. It's like a filipino not wanting anyone of his/her own race to be there other than him/herself.

That is just so fuckin' crabby. (Yes, it's "crabby", not "crappy"). If I had any say in all that, filipinos with that attitude should be deported permanently, wherever country they are in. Honestly, never have I heard of a race of people who put down each other's successes instead of being happy for their fellow countrymen other than the "pobre" in manila. Hell, rich filipinos are much better people. Just like Jaz said before, they downplay their fortunes and don't crave for attention.

Don't worry. This is hell no generalization. I am lucky to know a good number of sensible filipinos that are very warm, even to strangers, and not in their own country. They should be examples for others wanting to migrate. Perhaps the key here is not to live your life as if life owes you something for the opportunity lost.

You will only grow bitter with disappointment.
And you will always still be in the basket.

Good thing is, I'm sure that friend of mine will not be in the basket.

Profoundness at its best, etc.

2005-06-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

There was a site recommended by Cherie in her blog. It was leading to postsecret.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com

If there is anything about this site, it is the most fucking HONEST site I have ever seen. You should all go visit it once a week. For those of you who have pretentions (actually we all do), I would recommend this site to visit so that we are reminded of our humanity and the basic truth that comes with it.

Having visited that site, I have felt great comfort in the site making me further realize how harsh life has changed me from the carefree person I was. I started being more profanely open about my ideals and speech. I'm sure you will feel something good or bad when visiting this site.

So after all that stuff about postsecret, I am fully affirmed that I have written good shit it my blog. I used to write eversince I was in highschool but never had the time to hone the talent professionally. And I hate the english subjects back in school.

I didn't want to make this site a satyr; I wanted it to be of some human value to whoever drops by, so I mixed it up but thought of a theme to bind it all together - hence Urban Warrior Cybercafe was born.

------------------ oOo ------------------

o-k, that felt good. I had a good thought on my way home. It made its way to me when two noisy passengers were talking about hesitation of telling someone that you love them.
My thought says something like:

I would rather live in regret of doing something and wishing I haven't done it,
rather than living in regret of not doing something when I had the chance to.

Yeah, from a moment months ago, I have mastered my fear. The world is now my oyster.

------------------ oOo ------------------

Yesterday we were having a drink at a convi (convenience store) when a foreigner stepped in and bought a condom. He didn't just buy one. He exclaimed loudly "Give me one of each ya got". The counter staff was trying not to giggle. She handed around 7 different brands of condoms. Way to go my man, he's in for a really hot sweaty night.

This is an example of that "Be true" moment. When you see someone filipino buying a condom (most especially if it's someone you know), you go "uyy hehehe" or maybe "ah *gasp* *shock*". Man, have we a long way to go before this country's people mature. I really have to whop our spanish colonizers grandmommas one day. Thanks to them, the Philippines grew up to be a bunch of sexually introverted people. THEY SCREWED UP OUR CULTURE. They taught us to be lazy and procrastinate; that being late is a sign of power; and showing too much skin is bad.

No, don't argue. JUST HEAR ME OUT.

If Japan colonized us, we would have been the 2nd most perverted country in the world. I'm not saying that Filipinos should be more sexually active. I just feel bad at the level of maturity/naiveness the older generations have reached. I'm sure awareness about something opens your eyes and makes your reasoning more solid.

Wow, looks like this has been my most disorganized post! Truly a milestone!

Resign Dammit!! vol. 3

2005-06-17T08:11:00.000+08:00

Learning from experience

I have been horrendously busy this month. I wasn't able to comment a lot on my friends' blogs and post new stuff. That's good actually. It's when time flies that you know that something is happening, and that you are part of the action.

This month has also been "major turn-over" month. Out of 10 colleagues I've run into, 4 of them have resigned and have moved to other companies. I still remember the time when I was still 'green' (fresh out of college) and applying. Those were (pathetically) fond memories. The feeling of applying for work when you're experienced in your field is different from when you were just a fresh graduate. I remember my colleagues and I used to play "spot the fresh grad" in a bunch of people walking the busy streets of makati.

Let's get on to business. It's a given that you find yourself in another office's being interviewed by their HR manager. Here's some things I have learned.

1. The atmosphere is not threatening at all when you're good in your field. So BECOME GOOD in your work. Having this attitude, you will have greater value. That's the whole point of being in work you see - to create value.

2. Learn to say no - if there's something you really don't like when you hear the job offer (like the salary), negotiate, or profusely refuse. They are not the only company around. Also, you are not the only applicant around. If they really want you to join them, be honest to them if the salary is an issue. More than 75% of the time, IT IS. Don't ever accept a job with a lower salary than your recent highest one.

2. Downplay yourself but don't go too low - Confidence is a prime trait employers are looking for in experienced hires. Being ultimately timid about what you want is the trait of a fresh-graduate. Confidence is the key here - you will feel this almost instinctively. Secondly, if you're just looking for work per se - you'll never be happy at work.

3. Have your long-term goals clear - This is a question which they usually ask, which will have a big impact on their decision whether to hire you or not. So that as early as the interviewing, if there's no fit between you and the organization, you'd best not waste each other's time.

4. Ask the company what your job description entails and what exactly will you be doing there - I have an old colleague working in this company in Makati Stock Ex (I won't mention the company's name), and after hearing that she was promised this job description and she was doing a completely different task, I told her to leave right away since she is young and very marketable, she would be happier elsewhere.

5. Master the art of NEGOTIATING your salary - by the confidence you project, your prospective employer may downplay you on your asking salary. This is true most especially when you're applying in big companies. Don't let them disregard your years of experience. It's definitely worth something. If you spent your prime working years with just petix at your previous work, then you're dead.

6. Tell them what you want - don't just wait for their job offer. As early as the HR interviews, POLITELY inform your interviewer (HR) of the things you're expecting. If they reply anything short of a firm "yes", chances are, they're not the company you wanna work with.

7. You're not shopping anymore - As an experienced hire, you are no longer the froshie (college grad) who usually doesn't know what they want in a career yet. So apply only with the companies that you have a better impression that you're going to like to join. Remember, working goes two ways - the company has something you like and vice versa.

Hmm, that's quite a long list.. I wrote that much to make up for the day gap.

So there you have it - have a great day. Grow or die you lazybone!

The Foreigner Eye

2005-06-02T21:19:00.000+08:00

I was at Greenbelt viewing an art exhibit today. There were people from a lot of nationalities. It so happened to be some "Asia Cartoon Week" exhibit. I just stood at the back after viewing the portraits because I didn't want to get stuck by the amount of people that flooded when the ribbon was cut, but I did get a good view of most of the cartoons and the messages they conveyed.

Many people were viewing the exhibit. Office people, students, lovers, families even.

Let's rewind a bit on the lovers part. One is filipina, and the other is a foreigner. I'll take a guess he's an old american. She was scantily clad in a blouse and skirt of the thinest fabric, so thin her bra outlined all the well-endowed areas it could. And the legs, they just won't quit at all.

But as she turned her face in our direction, I gasped...

it's not that she was ugly.. it's just that.. from a scale of 1 to 100 (highest), if girls in the whole area were lined up, she would probably be in the bottom 20. This is definitely the thousandth deja vu I've had. And there I had my billion-peso question..

What is it with foreigners that attracts them to filipina women which are the least attractive to filipino men?

Seriously - it's just out of curiosity. Not that I want women like her.
I could only think of one sensible, general reason: mutual benefit. Telling me that "It's love" is the biggest bullcrap I've ever heard. If you want to test this -- Introduce me to a filipina who marries a poor foreigner. (Oh wait, there's no such thing as a poor foreigner, how the hell did he get to manila without money for his plane ticket?)

Most foreigners I've talked to have one common denominator about the average filipino women.
They are easier to please and they don't resist much. ("easy" as one of my american friends say).
But this "easier to please" type of filipina, is not the typical hottie you'd see at the mall coffee shop.
She is not the Maria Clara at the office or the Lara Croft of your college outdoor trekking club. The foreigner meant the not-as-pretty type who i'm sure our past maid was prettier by far. To my disbelief I even asked him twice which girl he fancied the most when I showed him a picture of girls taking up nursing - he pointed to the least pretty. Then I showed him a picture of my prettiest friends, to my disbelief, he didn't want any of them.

So then and there I have verified that there is really a pattern in the attraction of foreigners towards that "type" of filipina.

Probing further, I also learned (well as if I didn't know already) that filipino hospitality is world-renowned-- this being a big factor in foreigners preferring filipinas to women of other nationalities. They say something that tantamounts to "when I grow old, an american wife who can't stand me anymore will throw me to an old-folks-home". A filipina won't. They'll care for you 'till your dying day. I don't know if this is entirely good.

Well, that's good for the lesser-pretty type of filipina. Their future is set. They get to go abroad without a hassle, and they live the good live for the long haul. Take a look at my pretty friends - usually, their mind-set is, "I'm stuck here, how will get to go abroad when my boyfriend wants us to settle here?", and all those kind of stuff.

There's also a not-so-good impression on filipinas -- courtesy of the Japanese. To them, filipinas are an easy lay because japan accepts around 100,000 filipinas to work as hostesses and GRO's in Japan. Couple that with the culture in Japan - it's still as patriarchal and traditional as it was years ago. A female officemate who worked in japan for a good number of months even told me, if you're a filipino male and you make enough female japanese acquaintances, you won't even have to go to a red-light district to get laid, lest pay for it.

After hearing all this, I sighed to myself -- it was good and bad to be a filipino male. You are blessed with the company of the hottest goddesses to ever walk the planet, that is -- THE filipina; while at the same time, you are the most challenged nationality in the race of males in the world because in general, in manila, a filipino males' capacity to raise a family is severely crippled by severely downed economy..

...but that, is another never-to-be-told story.

Filipino Traits that suck vol. 3

2005-05-30T08:37:00.000+08:00

KILL the PRIDEFUL SWAPANG:

I was tuned in to Magic on the radio while reading the morning e-mail. The topic for the day was "Only in the Philippines". There was one reply from a listener which definitely made an impact for anyone who was listening. She said something like this:

"Only in the Philippines will you find people who are mayabang and swapang but wala naman talagang binatbat sa buhay"
[Only in the PI will you find people are boastful and greedy but don't really a damn to give about life]

Albeit a blunt observation, I can't help but agree with the person who said this. There is this air of competition and boasting that I can see among those who are well-off and struggling. I'm sure right about now, some manilenos reading this are gasping "that's not true". Bullshit. Just read.

Neighboring households have the tendency to compete. See a household with a new car, next month, the house opposite of it will have a new one as well. While this is not always always the case, you can't help but notice it. This is such a loatheful habit some filipinos have.

Take a look at the celphone industry - it's booming with the Filipino competitive culture. I'm amazed at how some filipinos manage to have the latest celphone models when their last one just got stolen, or just decide to replace it "para laging latest yung aken". I salute those who keep their dated models, may you be examples for others (there is no fucking way you'll get me to spend 20k up on a new phone).

At coffeeshops - you will see some people with laptops who spend the WHOLE time in the shop with it on. If that wasn't enough for show, right now, it's no longer an issue of having a laptop. It's now about how small your laptop is. (there, I'm seeing a lot of teeth gritting "nde naman ah", yeah yeah my foot) Before, having a dell or hp lap was hip. Now, you're seeing the same people with i-books and the latest Twinhead 12-inch LCDs. Let's face it - you really won't be able to work in a coffeeshop with your laptop (unless everyone of them is a writer, which I doubt). You go there to talk or relax. You work in an office or at home. Hell you also run the risk of spilling your drink on your lap. Don't cry when it happens - YOU DESERVE IT for being such an airhead. But hell, that's THE attitude - thank God airborne access is slow. You can see that coffeeshops are fuelling THAT attitude of filipinos.

And what's up with the "wala namang binatbat sa buhay"? I think it stems to the sad reality of the way the youth are raised in manila. They are brought up shielded from hard work. Yes, they are brought up to think that money is easy and their parents will always be there for them. They are not taught the value of hardwork and good business-sense. I guess all they can think of having their children take up nursing so they can go to some other country, bwahahaha

Well that's just a few of the general observations. I'm sure whoever contributed that reply to the radio show knew exactly what he/she was saying. I am saddened by this fact, and also, because the better-sensible part of manilenos are indiscriminately included in this observation [nadadamay ang iba]

And the worst part of this all is -- I don't think it will get any better...

The Tragedy of Beauty

2005-05-23T08:56:00.000+08:00

One of our kada called me yesterday evening. There was an issue with some guy she's been seeing, so being the "hitch" doctor, I took her case. As always, I only listen, then sympathize. Yes people, that is the ONLY way to talk with a girl whenever she is feeling that way. DO NOT offer any solutions.

After some half-hour of listening and exchanging some ideas as to where she is in her situation, she started rambling about this fact of life that she finds very unacceptable - that girls have to be pretty up front for guys to be attracted to them. She continuously asks me - "is this true"? I told her I would be lying if I said NO. Then here's the thing - she's asking "Why"?

IT'S BECAUSE GUYS ARE LIKE THAT. WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE LIKE THIS. WE JUST ARE.

Ask ANY guy up front - if he'd not want a pretty girl - I'll introduce you to the first liar if I hear a "NO". And what's the reason for this? It's quite simple - "It's because a guy wants to wake up in the morning with the most beautiful sight he's ever set his eyes upon".

So there, we've made our point right? Wrong! When I thought that was that, here she was rambling further -- "so how about the girls who are not as pretty as others?" I could only tell her this -- that's how it is - Beauty is not beauty per se -- it is truly the cruelty of selection. She said that if this was the case, then she feels sad.. sad because not all girls would be taken, and that it would be unfair.

At this point I wanted to laugh my ass off.. "Whoever said life is fair?"

Thoughtless

2005-05-05T06:30:00.000+08:00

On my way to meet a friend yesterday, I was walking at the sidewalk of the mall. It was a busy afternoon full of cars. Then there was this red Honda City that I saw. Its rear windbreaker fell (accidentally) while making a right turn. Although the driver stopped a bit, the driver didn't seem to realize what had happened, so he continued on. A taxi was right behind him, seeing that the City continued, he followed. A second later, he heard and felt a huge snapping sound from underneath his tires. The spoiler had broke from being run over by the taxi. Believe it or not, the driver of the City just continued on. Everyone from the people in the sidewalk to the security was trying to get the City's driver's attention. I was sure the driver was a foreigner, because he was driving like one -- driving manners, and all. Also it was because he dismissed the incident naively.

[ Ok, feel loosened? That wasn't the story of this post. That was just a "time killer". ]

Over the years I suddenly remembered a phrase that hurts a girl a lot. You should use (or not use) this whenever you want to make a strong impression that you do not care, or you want to cause chaos in your relationship. It goes something like..

"You know, I question your sincerity for making the same mistake twice"

Goodness, this is the most tactless comment I've heard from a guy. And do you know what the reason this was said to a girl? Because she was chatting with her best gal pal on the phone. Previously, she apologized to her guy for the same reason (forgetting to call). Now I know we all make mistakes.. but to say exactly THAT to a girl -- what the f__k.. IS IT SO NECESSARY?! My friend was really hurt upon hearing those words from her guy. And you know what the really admirable thing my friend did? She dismissed it. Out of basic human concern, she simply dismissed it. Others could have used that to start world war III with her guy, but she didn't.

In reality however, since when was it a sin to forget to call? You have your freedom as an individual, relationship or no.

I guess I can't blame some guys for being so perfect..

Always the best friend..

2005-05-04T10:03:00.000+08:00

Since my last relationship, I have adopted a new "program" for my social affairs when it comes to dealing with girls. It's read "Always the best friend, never the boyfriend". So far so good, it's been nothing but fun. (God, I sound like "Hitch" *eww*)

It is going to happen again today. I will meet one of my close friends from college. She will share the story of how she and her new boyfriend hooked up. As I've always been there, I will listen again. I will laugh with her, tell her a joke or two, share what's up with my life, etc.

Then here's the thing -- I am usually asked this -- "eh you, when ka magkaka girlfriend ulit?". I consistently say the same thing. "coz girl, I haven't met anyone who has made me as crazy as the one who left". (Actually, the last girl I really really wanted was in a relationship, so I just looked it over). After all that reasoning, at least I explained that my attitude wasn't that of a cynic. For someone who has had the blessing of the "gift" come to them, I'm sure you know the feeling. You won't even realize it happening. It just will, at a time you least expect.

So while I'm very sobber, I'm telling my best friend, I know what I'm doing. More importantly, I was joking pa nga -- "what if I get a girlfriend? So we will be meeting less and less, since the priorities will have to be shifting?"

When I have my quiet time to myself, I sometimes think of what life would be like in the future should the gift not come anymore. I would continuously be saying "hi" to a lot of people, I can hang out with any girl, and have a really grand time -- but go home on my own. Yeah I guess that's the ticket to it all.. you have to accept the fact that you won't be escorting someone to her place. Well that's the "boo-hoo" side talking. As long as I feel satisfied at the end of the day with how I nurtured the relationships with the friends I have now, that is enough.

I did what??

2005-04-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

I can't believe what I did for the most part of the day - I did some major cleaning in my room.

[ at this point, all my friends will call me and say " what did you eat!? " or something like " oh god, the apocalypse is near!" yeah yeah i know ]

But this cleaning session wasn't just any cleaning session. I was able to make a lot of free space in my room. Yep, measurement-wise, it made room for 30% more stuff to pack in. Yes, that's how much trash/junk I dug up. And I was sneezing by the end of the cleaning because of the humongous volume of dust that I scrapped and mopped. I made around 5 trips to the sink just to rinse the dusters and rags. Yes, that's how MAJOR the cleaning was.

Aside from feeling good from actually getting to clean my room in this magnitude, I was able to browse through some old "stuff" I thought I'd never find anymore. Some college shit.. some letters, greeting cards from friends, some college papers even. I had a really good time disposing of them ALL (except for the mail of course).

At sundown I was really tired; this was among the best uses of time I have ever made. I usually take time out to clean my room -- but this session -- tops every other session combined. I actually was being overtaken by a fit of laziness in the morning, so the moment it kicked me in the head that I wanted to CLEAN as in CLEAN my room, I turned the whole mood around. Now a girl can actually stay in my room and not want to leave, hehehe

Having such an orderly and neat room conditions your mind for a lot of things. It makes you feel good to see things spic and span. That "feeling good" translates into productivity in whatever you're doing (reading, drawing, whateva). And after being productive, your mind is released of stress because you have satisfied it at the end of the day. So it's really a domino thing you see..

I learned something important about my room-cleaning habits.. I really have to move my ass once I decide to START. The moment I hesitate for a minute, I'll decide to do something other than clean my room.

Now lying in bed and staring at my clean room, next thing iL want is some cool wallpaper, paint and hmm.. venetian blinds perhaps? hahaha

Nah, I think I'm going overboard with the OC-mood. 'till the next post.

Sunday Sessions

2005-04-18T07:59:00.000+08:00

Sunday was really a blast. It was the wedding of two of our barkada. Finally, they decided to seal the deal. I'm quite happy for them since the bride and the groom are personal close friends. As you're reading this, they're escaping reality with a trip to Cebu.

I was part of the entourage so I was only able to hang-out with my friends after the ceremonies. But I think that's fine because I got to make some new ones and meet the couple's families.

During the pre-reception period (which was a 2.5 hr gap, wow) we had a photo shoot as requested by the bride and groom in the churchyards. I can see now that my "lifting" paid off. About a year ago, I had to carry a girl but I couldn't even lift her. That was pathetic. Now I could carry my ento partner no problem. Besides, she was a babe so who couldn't muster enough muscle if you were in that situation? ^_o

I have noticed that in chinese receptions, they don't serve rice at all. But nonetheless the food is good. However, definitely not on the health-conscious side. Roasted duck and century egg is sure to raise your cholesterol a notch. There was a problem for the caterer, they ran out of soda, so they were serving juices as an alternative. This is the first time I've ever heard of such a thing happening in a wedding reception. Well, I guess a 500-guest wedding has its problems.

The emcee, a former teacher of the groom, did a really good job. Bilingual ceremony management, with several songs to boot. Can you top that?

After the wedding, no, the day wasn't over yet. Not by a long shot.

In the barkada, my thesis group was all present (yeah the other one flew all the way from california just to attend the wedding), so definitely we had a session over at San Mig in the town. We were talking about career paths, lifestyles and settling.

I didn't have much to say about settling because for me, you don't stop when you get married, it's only just begun. And yeah, there's the usual, "why are you still single?" shit. --> That right there is a question that you should never ask people. And don't ever include the word "still". Because people aren't obliged to get married. Sadly, its the whole world just dictating it. Hold your keesters, it's not a cynic speaking. I just hate it when things are being shoved up people's faces.

About lifestyles, we were talking about being "set" for life. I was a bit at a loss, since should I decide to migrate, that means I'm quite far from that goal. I told my buds that I am trying to find the missing pieces of the equation for quality living in the PI. And I'm sad because this in equation, only a handful will be able to have the guts and balls to do them.

There is one more thing I am debating on - if quality living is worth working for even if it means being away from the people you care for. I shared that it would be a heavy price to pay if I left for a country only to find out that I am far from being the happy person that I am. But I also agree to what my friends say that we'd better live life well coz we deserve it and to not bother living if we won't live well at all.

Why, they're right. What good is being with the people important to you when you're in complete misery? Maybe it's just me but.. I'd rather be dead than be in misery. Love or no.

When you can't sell

2005-04-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

A couple of days ago, a former acquaintance at work texted me. Missed call me even. Occassionally I text "hi", and send some forwards. But she rarely replies. I even remember inviting her for a relaxing dinner once, and she comes up with a gazillion excuses. Now while I hardly ever hear from her, she texts me this one time. She doesn't "stay" to socailize. She was asking me to attend this seminar networking shit she joined. That was the message.

I was asking myself.. "what makes her think I'd be convinced to go?" She hasn't even "warmed" me up by chit-chat, then she orders me off to a place totally out-of-my way to attend some networking seminar? [ This is one of those times why I sometimes think guys make better "sales" people ]

Back in 2004, I remember this old friend of mine. We haven't talked in like.. 3-4 years, so if a day came that we would meet, I was hoping we could do some catching-up together.. Then one day I did arrange to meet up with her. Too late, I found out the reason why she agreed was because she was trying to sell me this health product she's helping her boyfriend's sister market. It was almost 8 in the evening and I haven't had dinner. As fate would have it, we lost both our signals in the mall (we haven't met yet). When I finally moved to an area with signal, I saw the meeting venue and time adjustment. We got to meet alright, but it was around past 8 already. We didn't even get to have dinner. She immediately introduced me to her boyfriend's sister and her officemate. Then they started this presentation about the product. Not a thing registered in my head. I was very dizzy from hunger and exhaustion. Moreover I was sad because she didn't even bother to ask me "kumain ka na ba?".. I profusely turned her down with a sad look. We didn't even get to hang-out. It was time for her to go home, and I had to think of the closest eating spot that's open at past 9 pm.

I realize that I'm lucky to be a guy who, when wanting to get a girl's attention, musters all the "gimmicks" I could muster. I could look like an idiot after all that, but the effort is somewhat worth something, compared to what my two friends did.

So, if you wanna meet up old friends who you're wanting to sell something, better "condition" them first before you actually start spending your friend's time. If you're not showing up to socialize, you'll definitely end up like one or two of my friends.

'ayan I was really hoping we could hang-out sometime. It's been an awful long timel..

Quality Time

2005-03-30T20:59:00.000+08:00

Still remember before, I was rambling about having time to do the things that are worth your while? Now I'm finally getting to do them little by little. And today is just one of those days.

I visited a friend in cavite today. I don't normally go to anywhere out of town to visit. Well okay, cav isn't so out-of-town from where I am. I was going to help with some computer stuff she needed. The trip to cav wasn't as bad as I envisioned it to be. Short of the humid weather, it would have been like a trip to the beach in the evening. After around less than an hour, I was there. She was doing quite well with her business. I sometimes wish that I sort of shared the same fate with her in the company exodus last year -- things would have been a bit easier for me to set-up if that was the case.

I wanted something like her business, but I know somewhere deep down my 6th sense is telling me that the signs aren't heading towards that direction for me. I would end by wasting the only shot I have in the dark.

And so there I was having a great time just being there and asking lots of stuff and helping out with setting-up several software. For a few minutes, I remembered what it was like to work behind the counter, and not be a customer.

After the stuff I had to do was complete, we had a break out of the shop and in the town proper. We were exchanging stories about what happened back then and what was happening now. I can really feel now that A LOT OF TIME has passed. (I wanted to use the word WASTED, but I know what happened to me right now was a series of events leading to this). However, I am happy for her that karma paid her back with interest. She now has her own business and is on the path to independence.

And so as I was on my back, I was seriously thinking of how am I going to further the "value creation" project without needing a big amount of funding for it. I understand that you have to make money work for you.. but it's a challenge for me while I am still nursing my spirit back to health.

My take on holy week

2005-03-23T21:38:00.000+08:00

[ The following post is for open-minded, mature audiences only. Some mild profanity and adult themes follow. You have been warned ]

Ah yes it's holy week again. As the years go by, I look at holy week as one of the most ceremonial of christian traditions. According to old people (not elderly, not all elders are closed-minded), during holy week, christians should be REFLECTING on their lives, their faith, etc.

As a kid, I was raised to get used to THAT practice. But now it looks like reality is far from what the elders teach you.

[ I have to get this out first, pardon me ]

SCREW YOU SPANISH COLONIZERS

There, much better now.

No, I'm not actually angry at the religion. I'm just disappointed at how it was ingrained into our youth at a time when it was so (1800-1900's).

I'm quite happy at how I'm seeing the values of class C, B, and A manileños change from religious to practical. Hard times in your country do not come without benefits. They are now more concerned about necessary things. Take the need for a rest and vacation for example. Years ago, I remember our olds telling us: "Don't go out during holy week; Don't go swimming, etc etc." I was a kid then so I could just nod and throw a tantrum. Now that I have the power, I consent when my friends say "hey beach tayo :D " or something like that.

Looking back then I was rather disappointed at how wrongly rooted religion was in manileños that day. The spanish were indeed smart. Using the power of fear, a power that's not even their own, to manilpulate gullible people into doing and not doing this and that.

It's good friday yeah sure. Is that the only time we'd be good? Come on now.. you all know it -- that the one up there would want us to "find the love" with your neighbor every single day. Not just during holy week. "What a plastic people", God would exclaim. "Ok, since you're all like that, may your nation rot in poverty". The non-christian nations are better off. They're non-christian, but they create value, they follow laws, they cultivate order.

So when you all attend mass on Easter Sunday, try giving way to the car that cuts you on the way out. Don't shout at your maid, your younger brother/sister. Use the pedestrian overpass when crossing the street, dispose of your litter properly. Then on monday treat people at work with due respect, don't lie or steal. Create value in your work, don't steal company time doing something else, etc. In summary, do things in their proper time.

And for the non-christian audiences, I salute you. You have already grasped the meaning of living life the way you want to. Believe me, it's what christians want as well, but they're a bit... stuck up. :P

Making Happy vol. 1

2005-03-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, we're on day 2 of my "best days" season. It has been THE best 2 days if not among the best, for 2005 (and if may say so, even for 2004).

In the afternoon of Monday I went to Alabang Town to get some PC parts. I decided to stop by a coffeeshop. MAN was there so few people.. I thought to myself.. there really isn't anyone stopping by for coffee on a working afternoon.. I only see students 2/3rd's my age acting like adults, doing adult-like things, etc.

I've always wished for a time like this y'know -- that time when I can just sit and watch the sunset on a WORKING AFTERNOON and I wouldn't give a f__k about anything in the world.

[ yeah i know i know I'll have to work again. Actually I am working still. The only difference is I don't swipe a time card. ]

If life was this good everyday, no wonder why it has to end.. I believe that when you have your time to yourself, it is the ultimate test of discipline. Because there is the ultimate temptation not to work, and spend time leisurely. While I actually believe this is the right way to live, life is half-known as the biggest irony. Our happiness in a material world is only temporary. We gotta strive for the things that matter. I gotta strive for the things that matter to me, and so do you.

Maybe this was a waste of a post. While I was actually so happy writing all this down, I feel that someone at the other end of the screen reading is sulking because they can't do what they want -- because of their work..

Am i right? :D

The beggar

2005-03-06T00:04:00.000+08:00

I was walking along dela rosa street after walking a friend to her apartment. We came from a play in greenbelt which was until almost 10. Then, 2 blocks away from my right turn to greenbelt, a teenager approached me. It's either he was a teen or an early twenties. He looked that of the lesser-male-possibly-slightly-gay type. A conversation ensued:

"Um excuse me po, could I ask some help with directions?"

"Uh wuzzat?"

"How many greenbelts are there?"

"There are 4. you don't know?"

"I see. I was supposed to meet up with friends at the greenbelt near the church last 730. But I didn't know which greenbelt the churche was. I got left behind. I lost my wallet po kasi and my SIM is malfunctioning. I was wondering if I could borrow a bit of money just to get back home to San Juan. I'll pay you back po tomorrow, double pa if you want."

At this point I was keeping my eyes peeled for anyone approaching or looking.
I was slightly expecting some action. Anything that happens at evening in makati is always half-dangerous.

"hmm.. how much ba u need?"

"Um, hanggang San Juan po, mga 90 pesos po. Sorry po sa abala."

I motioned him to walk with me towards the intersection of M cafe and Dela Rosa.
I gave him 90 bucks before I crossed the street.
He thanked me, then as I went my way, I told him off:

"Etong 90 bucks. Forget about returning it. Next time, don't get lost, and be a little more convincing. If you're lost, you should ask for directions. What the hell were you doing from 730 to 10 pm?".

"Um, hindi ko po kayo niloloko."

"Ey kid, you're begging, so you don' t have the right to be defensive. If you're telling the truth, then take any spat when a stranger offers help."

With that, the guy walked towards Ayala with a shameful look on his face. My eyes were following him to where he was walking towards. He was probably going to get a cab there. I've always known myself to make looks that pierce when some suspicious person is near, but this evening's incident really called for a much sharper one.

It actually costed that much to mock someone with impunity. Wow, I guess I might try that again, but this time, not with a begging yuppie. Pretty pathetic kid actually. If you were trapped in makati with no wallet and your SIM's malfunctioning, try begging for 5 bucks then use a payphone to call home or something -- well, that's what I'd do.

Even if he was telling the truth, I would have told him to fuck off just the same for making such a crumby story. Looks like my karma meter's tipping positive again.

Friday getaway

2005-03-04T03:00:00.000+08:00

Flashback: Friday. 03.04.2005
[ after the hilarious previous post, I guess had to write about this too ]

We watched a movie at around 9. The movie Hitch was definitely good. It was a good one because it whopped the cynical about love on the head. If there was a stronger word that whop i'd like to use it but since the movie on the whole good, I'll spare it.

But if there was anything about the movie that hit me -- I think there's something wrong with me. I say this because lately I've been spreading myself too thin among my female friends. While it is good to stay in touch with almost all of them, I'll really have to cut off 70% communication with all of them if I'm really gonna get serious with a girl. Good thing for me is -- I'm pretty sure of who it is I like right now. And I pride myself for that because a single guy usually has that dilemma. He doesn't know what he wants until it's in front of him. (Just like with girls).

Man, I really should charge my friends for the advice I give. I have friends who have girlfriends now because of the advice I give.

For girls however, I am a "break-up advisor" instead of a "finding-the-one" type of consultant. So that's more on a messy degree.

The only thing about movies like that is well.. there'll never be a movie ever released about a happy ending when the hero/heroine is single in the end. That'll be the day.

So after all that, we hit Metrowalk in Meralco Ave. It was actually my first time to hangout there since I just pass by the place occassionally. My drinking record for the evening was patheic. 2 San Mig Light's and I couldn't walk straight. Should've known better to have ordered more food. My tolerance drops when my stomach's empty.

Screw the tolerance thing. I had a great time with people I'd never thought would be great company. Minus the cynicism and the constant plugging of having a car, it was cool.

I also salute the taxi driver for being a model driver. Full-meter without any haggling on wee-hour travel is rare.

Turned-good evening

2005-03-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening was a memorable evening. I usually don't go to alumni homecomings, coz i think trying to relive the past is a bunch of crap.

But this one occassion (the LAN net CCS) was different.

There was this inspiring speaker who gave this story about how he passed his thesis but a professor in the panel said "The system is good, but you will never become successful". That same student who passed the thesis is now the CEO of Technistock corporation. Will someone shoot that professor??

I was reminded of the biggest sin in the corporate world.

NEVER badmouth others in public.
Better yet, don't badmouth at all.

I live with this principle because I believe that what goes around comes around.

I remember getting a 4.0 in COMPRO1 for 2 hours. 2 hours after, my professor approached me and told me "Um, I made a mistake in my computations, I can't give you a 4.0 because I can't add your bonus points earned from the long quizzes in the exams eh". And so I got a 3.5. I was wondering "bitch, don't you feel good about having a 4.0 COMPRO1 student?" f__k her. Literally and figuratively.
But when we met along the corridors, when was smiling plasticly and I remained professional even as a freshman. I'm sure she realized she was ashamed of what she did. Again, will someone shoot this kind of professor??

So there goes my first reason. The second reason is that my orientees arranged to meet during the homecoming. Of the many friends I made before, I was kinda surprised that they decided to stay in touch after all this time. But after months of communication exchange, I guess I think I've met my match in the el gimmikero/ la gimikera circuit hehehe.

What a reason

2005-03-01T01:23:00.000+08:00

03.01.2005 0128 hrs

I remember clearly what happened the past morning. I was chatting with a close friend in canada. She said she wanted to go back home to the Philippines for good because she misses her family. I told her that she's just a bit homesick and that she'd be crazy to give up her green card for that reason alone. She also says that she's considering just working here.

Pardon me for saying this, but that is ultimately crazy. If she only knew how many people would give almost anything just to be where she is..

I think there's only one thing that legitifies her reason -- her heart is still here.

I suggested to her "why not make canada your home now?"

Yeah yeah she doesn't have that car like everyone else, and works at a technical support center, but I mean, she gets to pay for bills and gets to save. Why isn't she making much sense??

When your heart is dancing

2005-02-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

I watched this movie a week back which had a dancing theme in it. When I left the theater, I was reminded of a power that people possess that they often forget.

We have the power to choose to be happy. Now if there is a measure of happiness in the world that I'd use to compare genuine happiness to -- that would be the feeling of dancing.

As I was writing this entry, I popped a CD of the happiest song to my ears. "Listen to me" by Norma Sheffield. It was a eurobeat love song. It didn't matter if it was a dated song, the point was it was what I wanted to listen to and it matched my mood. I felt that the project from hell that I've been working on, the daydreams of me with my friends, the cute girl at work that I see every morning, they all starting rushing to my head and soothed everything. I was reminded of how good I was at producing that feeling everyday.

Perhaps that's what we need to do each day -- produce that feeling of happiness in us; the kind of feeling that is likened to when we're dancing. I know somewhere deep inside every person, there is this subconscious that yearns for that feeling, that of a heart that is dancing.. and when you get to do that in a day -- you have lived that day fully.

I know this because I decide to dance my heart each day...

Filipno Traits that suck vol. 2

2005-02-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

Kill "Kung makakalusot, lulusot"

I read Cherie's post that touches on Filipino's lack of discipline. This is a corollary to that.

I believe that the foundation of discipline is built on a straight adherance to rules. People who bend the rules, defeat the system when others go by what is the norm in order to get to that same thing.

It would be such a sight to die for if a day comes when Filipino law enforcers decline bribes from traffic violators and issue tickets with heavy fines to be paid in proper offices. I'd raise their salaries for more violators they catch.

It would be such a good day to see filipino pedestrians cross the street on the pedestrian lane.

Better so if motorist don't haggle with cops, they just get a ticket and pay for them.

Such a day of order when companies compensate employees justly, without short-changing them when they know they're worth paying that much

When our factories insist on best quality. "pwede na yan" is not enough.

When we employ "agents" to "fix" our "papers", we lose our worth as a person because of our lack of respect for others.

Such a fine day to see people walking a sidewalk without steel bars, it means they know better not to cross the street.

Such a great day when i wake up from this f_____g dream post.

Resign Dammit!! Vol. 2

2005-02-08T22:12:00.000+08:00

They'll never know

One of the most fun/happy/hilarious moments about corporate resignation is the event more popularly known as the Exit Interview. What I am about to tell you people are just my conclusions from general stories told to me.

Honestly, I am wondering why companies bother to have this interview. It's probably a company's last ditch effort to gain information from you. Well here's the thing -- whatever you share with them at this time -- is at your own discretion. You are not obligated in anyway to be honest with them. They ask you questions like "Where are you going?", "Why are you leaving?"

IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS

Being the professional that you are, you give them your notice of resignation, and that's that.
Now when you resign with second thoughts, you are simply putting yourself into unwanted shit and stress. So when you do decide to drop the ball on your company, it should never dwell on you that they are in a position to threaten you ever, because no matter what happens YOU WANT OUT.

If the company is a nice company, the only legit reason for resigning would be career growth or moving/family reasons. Other than that, it's just plain simple -- you're not happy (anymore).

And when asked the question "why are you leaving?" -- like duh, of course there's something wrong with the company or something you didn't like about them. But the thing is, you have to make a graceful exit, so you make reasons. ANY reason is fine. I'm sure HR managers know that 98% of people's replies during exit interviews are BS.

So if you look at it all from a third person point of view, it's really all a farce. Obviously, there's something that's unacceptable about the company for you; the company knows it, but asks you anyway, which they'll never know -- during an exit interview.

On Credit Card Security

2005-02-03T01:40:00.000+08:00

[ This is a corny post but I feel I have to share this ]

I have an officemate who's credit card got stolen.

An hour later, the person got a call from the bank's customer service informing the person of the bill and to confirm it. It amounted to 80 thousand pesos. Imaginehaving spent that much money in an hour! Anyway, my guess is that the signatureof the cardholder was forged. Much worse.. it wasn't even checked.

Well not all credit cards have your picture in the card (for security reasons).Sadly, not all store personnel check for the matching of your signature whenyou sign (yes this is awfully true). So, if you're a responsible credit cardholder, do this:

Write on the signature section "please Check Valid ID". This makes surethat when you sign, the store personnel can always ask for a valid ID to confirm your signature is such. I know it's a bit of a hassle, but hey, would you rather wake up with a hundred thousand peso bill because you let someone forge your signature?

This is also rumored to be true -- beware when using your credit card on shabbybar and restos. Syndicates pay store personnel around 500 pesos to scan your card (so they can duplicate it later). There isn't a way to detect this, so be very cautious when you use your card in not-so-credible areas.

So what if you're a ?

2005-01-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

I was at this party last weekend. There were a lot of people, more than 3/4 i barely knew. So it was a minglefest. I happened to be somewhat early so I got to exchange pleasantrieswith the earlier people so that when the new people came I had time to chat with them too.

There was this group that I was mingling with after dinner. We were on the topic of career success and hardships. Then we came to the topic of lawyers -- more particularlytheir general attitude towards other professions. Apparently, there wasn't a lawyer present so yeah I guess that cemented the topic. The main premise was that lawyers are the most elitistic of professionals. Medical doctors only come second. I believe this to be true, as I know people who are doctors and they're quite far from the ellitistic lot people perceive them to be.However there are some medical professionals which I feel are bad examples to their juniors as they will try to diagnose a patient which will make them pay a lot when a patient is notthat sick and a cheaper just-as-effective means of medication is feasible.

Anyway, back to the lawyer perception. One of the people in my table claim that lawyersfeel that they have this ultimate "I am always correct" aura and that if you try to arguewith them, they will shove their point up your ass. (Wow I should have been a lawyer hehe)While I find this generalization biased, I did not wish to debate about what the person at the table said since I was only an observer for that topic. The reason for lawyers having this "elite" aura is because they passed the bar exam. It is said that THE bar exam is the most difficult exam ever in a profession to take. Yes, even the medical licensure exam only ranks like.. second. Given that it is -- I think that passing the bar exam doesn't earn youthe right to push people around, and yes, much less -- command respect.

While I don't have anything against being and aspiring to be elite -- I believe that the real elite have mastered the best ways of earning respect. You do not command respect. You earn it by bowing your will and listening as much as exchanging opinions with people. I think respect should never be commanded at all--It should be earned. Be it a supervisor, be it a parent, be it a child, be it your driver,be it your yaya who washes your clothes, be it the general manager, be it your friend.

Sure I'll be a lawyer and I'll make like what.. 60 to 80 thousand bucks per case or so.. but as long as I am an ass with a smartmouth that will not respect any otherperson's reason, I don't think I'll make any good sales or referrals that way. No one will hire me. I have 3 friends and 1 relative who are practicing lawyers and minus the premise that they are my friends/relatives, I see them from a 3rd-person view as uber elitists. I do not feel comfortable talking to them about anything because they'll always want the last word. And being the helpful friend that I am, I try to tell this to their faces in the most subtle manner, in the hope of making them improve; and in exception of my relative, I get the same reaction -- repulsive, inadmittant to error. I hope I'm just having a stroke of bad luch in thepeople I'm meeting, coz I have yet to meet a lawyer who is friendly enough to make you want to be friends with them while knowing how to listen to you.

Anyway, whatever your profession is, we are all "selling" something. Yes, you don't have to be in sales to do that. And with this business of "selling yourself" and your services, it is often gentleness and charisma that works you wonders.

Soon enough, I didn't realize that it was time way late so I had to go home already. I'll definitely attend another such party, as I really learned a lot of what people not my walk of life have to say about life and careers.

Resign dammit!! Vol. 1

2005-01-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

[ When I label topics with volumes, I plan to continue them in another post in the far future ]

Since this is the start of a new year, a lot new things will be happening, a lot of plans pushing through, and a lot of decision-making. But in the midst of all these exciting thoughts, I am going to talk about something a little bit off the scale -- The reason of resignation.

People in any industry resign here and there, for various reasons.
But no matter what anyone tells you...

..it only takes one legit reason to leave your current work -- YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ANYMORE.

Let's see the other legit reasons:
0. Compensation (it's intentionally numbered "0" because this should never be an issue).
If you weren't ok with the pay, then you shouldn't have accepted the job at all.
1. Career growth (or lack of it)
2. Forgone promotion/evaluation
3. Offered early retirement
4. Honor preservation
5. Sexual Harassment (this is probably the exception to the NOT HAPPY ANYMORE rule. If someone senior harasses you at work, then by all means better go).

All these (except 5) will stem to the "not happy anymore" premise

Yes, no matter what excuses you come up with, no matter how regretful or remorseful (heaven forbid) you be -- it will all boil down to that one reason stated above. And guess what -- the sooner you accept this fact (that you are no longer happy), resigning becomes easy.

Where will you go? The answer? Wherever you want to.
In two weeks you will be free. Free to re-chart your destiny once again.

Worried about financing yourself while jobless? The answer lies in preparation. You should have saved up a bit before ever planning to resign. Resignation is not that of a painful thing when long-planned. This is because actions that are long-thought are well-informed, evaluated and mentally-conditioned.

Don't ever resign because you're pissed off with your boss, or there's a disgruntled employee beside you haunting you every single day at work with his/her ramblings. That's a given in any workplace. There will always be someone that will get on your nerves, and you will not always like your boss.

So whenever you're not happy at work -- identify your reasons. Are they legit?? Think things over more than once. 10 times? No. A hundred even. And when you've reached the point that you are 1000% convinced that it's time for you look for other opportunities, don't just sit your ass there -- file that resignation and get your life moving!

Shoutout

2004-12-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

First of all FUCK Meralco. I was almost done with this post when the power was interrupted. I made this really nice year ender, so now I have to write it again!!

Ok, now on the serious shit part.

To the IT kada, Shirl, My, Cind, Gen, Milet, Claire, Paul, Dex, Cads, Tom, Louie

To the boyfriend, girlfriend units and the esposa group Ed, Mars, Christine, Kurt-
welcome to the barkada

To batch 3, i had a good time at work guys, so sorry I just have to do this.

To FR91, special goes out to Annie. Ei u! =)
The Kikay princess, Olive, and to her didi.
The ones who stayed in touch, Les, Rose, Kathy, Barbie, Gigi, Miles, Quincy, July, Jules and Lloyd

My schoolmates at Nihonken, most especially Anna, Frances, and Hieda-san
To Alfred, Alice and Niaga-sensei, domo arigato gozaimashita

The bloggers, Sheryl, Cherie, Jenijin and Jules.
Cherie, I am coining your "boyfriend unit" phrase and am hereby creatingthe "girlfriend unit", bwahahah =P

The LP people, Paski, Eevee, J-Anne

The Neo-malate people, Tappy, Nix, Jemps, Eddy, Erica, and of course Gigi!Mudpie!!!

The Chatters, Ives, Patti, Nikki, Twey, Khaye, Jenai, Bob, Scott, Bryan

To the better friends,
Kate, Wish you were here!
Abby, o ano? kinuha mo na offer? kelan ba tayo gigimik huh? hehe
Cay, yayoo!! Libre ko huh hehe
Kre, maniwala akong nanaba hehe =P
Tins, all the best sa atin, mwah! Sideline huh!! hehe
Pam, ano na sunod na idodownload natin? excited na ako hehe
Von, alam kong maganda ka, so i know maliit lang maitutulong ng binigay ko hehe
Roan, wag magpaputok huh! Ingatan ang baby, hehe
Minette, EK huh kasama si Ro at 'drew, usapan na yun =)
Lil sis, pustahan, hanggang 2006 kayo dyan sa project na yon o, umalis na kayo hehe
Juicy Joan, ano gurl? gimik ba? hehe
Mitch!! Mitch!! Miiiiiiiiiitch!! hehe wag tayo sa absinth, korni dun. =)
Johnny, pare kita kita tayo sa US one day. Or.. sa JAPAN, pwede rin hehe
Mitsubachi! Ano saa.. doko e iku no ka?

[ This was supposed to be longer. But again, Meralco just needed attention. ]

Did I miss anyone? that was quite short. Happy new year everyone!

Last Minute Stuff

2004-12-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

I really thought that this year was done already when christmas ended, but well I guess life has its way of telling us things we will never understand just yet.

- The Loss -
A few days back I was having a chat session with a good'ol buddy of mine over a girl he lost to the girl's ex. What really sucked about the whole thing was that the girl never told him about her ex's still being around the whole while that he was courting her.

Someone shoot her, but I don't think my friend deserved that from her. Probably because my friend would not be spending anymore time with her if he found out the score earlier. Well she can't have her cake and eat it too.

- The Destruction -
I was shocked at the news of a Tsunami coming out of nowhere hitting Indo, Malaysia and Thailand.
Just goes to show that if it's your time, it's your time, no matter where you are and how you are. I hope that Victoria's secret model who clinged for 8 hours to a tree with a broken pelvis recovers. Uh oh, I have a feeling that Jules will say that "she's just a person like everyone else, how come she deserves special mention?", right Jules? hehehe

Stay tuned for my year-ender post tomorrow. It's gonna be a blast.

Losing it

2004-12-27T16:56:00.000+08:00

As usual the 25th and 31st have been spent on the BIG family gatherings. We had ours too. Towards the end of the christmas day gathering, I got to talk to the elders and exchanged some stories. I was sad at what I heard from my cousins (who are now married). They are seemingly becoming less excited about attending the new year gathering (accdg. to their kids).

I could not believe what I was hearing. We never fail to hold the new year gathering. And now that it's 2005 in a few days and economic times are getting even harder, the main house (host) is also considering postponing the new year's eve gathering (because not everyone feels like going).

I have no right to dictate to them what they should do since they're the ones paying. But killing a tradition almost 20 years old is just disheartening. Actually, I really don't care much if we hold the gathering at a different place. It's just that I'm concerned at what their kids will grow up and get used to -- not having a gathering on such a grand occassion. Most of my cousins (in my generation) can understand because they're of-age. But when little hungry minds are drafting their values, don't they deserve to experience the same traditions we have had since we were little?

No, no, I'm not wanting to be one of the elders just yet. I would probably do something once we're the ones who sponsor the event. It's just a bit sad to know, that my nephews will grow used to not having each other around at least even during the holidays.

A notch higher

2004-12-20T22:36:00.000+08:00

I have this long unbeaten record during weddings.

I have always avoided the garter when it is tossed. I have kept this record for years on end.
Wedding coordinators have come up with ingenious ways of involving bachelors in this traditional wedding ritual so what the heck, "just play along and don't get caught" - that was my philosophy.

Yesterday though, my luck run out at a former officemate's wedding. I caught the garter.

They played the bachelor's game where multiple boxes were passed around, one of them with the garter in it. So I was really done in when the music stopped and I saw the other boxes opened. Gak! Mine was the only one left unopened! So there, I was it.

[ take note: Believe me or not -- I wasn't even looking as to who caught the boquet. Usually, guys would decide if they'd wanna have it at the garter depending on the girl who catches the boquet. So this occassion was in all fairness ]

It just so happened that the lady who got the boquet was the bride's maid-of-honor, who happens to be among the most babe-licious babes in the entourage. So I guess I was lucky.

Nope.. I was DAMN lucky.

And so came the um.. "exciting" part of the game. Putting the garter aroud the lady's leg. I could've have sworn the groom and the bride we're jokingly shouting "use your mouth, use your mouth, no fair no fair!". They'll pay for this one day, hahaha.

Anyway, lucky for me again, the lady was a really good sport and kept her shyness despite her being "game". She was in a long flowing gown so no matter how high your hands were, no one could see them. I quickly whispered "pardon me", then joked "shriek early so we can finish already" hehehe.

but when I had my hands around her leg and raising the garter, she was just smiling at me and said "sige pa" (keep going). Looks like she wasn't going to let out a shriek soon. My hand was already around by her knee. Everyone was shouting "higher pa higher pa". I'm glad I only know half the guests there. I would have died.

If I went a bit higher, she would probably call it quits already, so I did (raise it) to a bit past her knee.

About a second after raising it, her leg twitched. Her smile widened and her eyes lighted up as if she was tickled. That was the cue for me to stop. I will not mention upto where did I raise it. She will probably kill me if she gets to read this. :D

The bride and groom finally concurred. Two kisses followed. I will have the bride fire the cameramen for having us do a second take. Secretly though, kissing a complete stranger twice ain't bad at all :D

After this experience, looks like I only have a few more weddings to attend (because 3/4 of my friends are married), but this time I'll probably try catching the garter, not because I want the same experience, but because I noticed that the more I tried to elude it, the faster it made its way to me.

And there is another reason..

My season of fall will be over soon, and it's probably time for the season of love to bloom.

Door Trauma

2004-12-18T08:41:00.000+08:00

There's this one accident that I witnessed which always reminds me why we should always look behind before opening a car door.

One day about a month ago, while I was waiting for the ride for work to fill up, I was watching an intersection. I was about 15 feet away from the road. The road was two-way traffic with two lanes each. Traffic was negligent. On the right lane, on the innermost lane, there was a car with 3 people in it. The driver, and 2 passengers (female students) , one seated on the front and rear passenger side respectively. The shoulder lane (right of the car) was open. The student on the rear passenger side, seeing that the there was no car, opened the door to get off. Suddenly, after a few inches from opening the door, a water delivery truck came speeding. The driver of the truck was not able to stop in time to see the opening door..

The truck hit the door. The door broke from the car and went flying opposite the truck's direction. It hit a guardrail and there was a loud crash, followed by smashed glass scattered all over the road. The door was totally smashed.

Now I've watched a lot of action movies in where door's fall off when hit, but I was pretty sure that this is the real thing.

Now you ask, what happened to the girl? Well, apparently, the truck hit the tip of door farthest from her. So basically, the door was ripped from the car a split-second from the girl's opening the door. So the girl wasn't injured. She was however in a deep state of shock from the whole thing, since she could have been the day's first statistic.

The truck driver didn't stop, and just went on. In as much as he didn't stop, I'm sure it wasn't the truck driver's fault, since the driver wouldn't have enough time to stop the truck.

The following day, I saw the same car, this time with a newly attached door that's differently painted. Now that girl will most definitely not forget to look behind before opening a car door EVER AGAIN.

On balance

2004-12-12T08:15:00.000+08:00

In any lifestyle, stress comes with it. We will all need fixes to alleviate this stress. Some of them expensive, some of them free, some of them difficult, while some of the are easy.

One way of taking off stress effectively in life is satisfying the need to create value. This boils down to the things that you don't need compensation to motivate you -- you just do them. In a nutshell, they are the things that we value; they make us happy (yes, this means just being with your significant other takes stress away).

Most of the things on the "value" category are on recreation and hobbies. I believe that they are just as important as working, because they strike a balance in one's schedule. The absence of work makes you dull and useless, while the absence of recreation makes you crazy. So you see, you really can't do without either.

They remove stress by making you "recharged" and happy, thus making you ready for the next gruelling week. They make you feel good because you're getting something that you've WANTED to do accomplished. And this is what we live for-- this is why we actually work.

While basically you already create value when you're at work, why let it end there? Make your free time spent on things of value as well. So take that out-of-town trip, go on that window-shopping spree with your pal, play that game, download that MP3, climb that mountain, watch that movie, WRITE THAT BLOG *snicker snicker*, the list goes on. Keep in mind that they're just all as important as working.

So now, it's just a matter of making time for those things that strike the balance.