Changes
In my late teen years, I have been blessed by realizing at an early age what I was suppose to do with my family heritage. It is none other than to challenge, improve and adopt it to the times.With that comes throwing tradition out of the window.[ I don't know exactly when I started implementing this, but ]One of the things I practiced was, breaking the tradition of visiting loved ones on All-Saints Day. It just happens to be one of those very "commercial" occassions in Manila. I brought this up because I recently learned that one of my good friends shared this view with me while we were walking in a busy street in downtown. All it took was a hard downpour of rain, and the next thing we knew, we were at a fastfood exchanging stories of our lives.I was impressed at hearing wisegal's stories; she seems to have little regard to family opinion, and she knows what she wants. I guess that's what happens when you strive to survive in life when there is no one to back you up. I have nothing but great respect and admiration for her.It dawned on me that while we all have departed loved ones, we don't actually visit them when we go to cemeteries. Their souls leave their bodies. And they are where your religion says they are (yep, heaven is only for christianity, I respect all religion, so go fill in your own blanks). And the dead don't need money. Living people do. While I find it a noble act to spend and spend for occassions such as All-Saints day, I'm sure that our departed loved ones will appreciate prayers, more than ANYTHING else that you can do on earth. Nope, it's not flowers, candles, or building houses for tombs.And the even greater thing, if I really am staunch about visiting my departed relatives -- I won't visit them on All-Saints day. I'd visit them randomly even once a year. What is more natural and comes from your heart is true, compared to doing something because everyone expects it.
Each to his/her own
[ time: 2 am, one day this week ]There was a pretty nice long email that I meant to delete before but I somehow managed to read it before I actually did (today). It was about this story about a person who sought a power career, became very successful at it but his life is broken (outside work).The message of the email was quite strong: Family First. I won't go into further details. Everyone knows of course being with loved ones is the best feeling in the world.. NOT.But what if you didn't have a family (anymore)? you didn't have any (good) friends...?and the finishing kick....is that you don't have this "power career" that that person sought out in the email.(let's just say instead you have a very financially challenged job, no parents to turn to for help, a broken career)WHERE DO YOU FALL IN THAT STORY?[ at this point, I can only classify you as one of the "Forsaken", by God, by fate, by whoever ]And so reality knocks, "Family First" -- what family? So now what do you do? You don't even have the "able" career. Do you know the thing now that matters most??? It's just one word:SURVIVEYep, "First things' First". It's not necessarily family. It depends on what your priorities are.When I look out of the window from the N-story building where I see the skyline and people walking, I think of the many people I know who are in this predicament. They're no delinquents, they're educated, have been good sons and daughters, law-abiding citizens, but of course life usually cracks a joke at you when you least expect it to. They end up fending for themselves, no family to care for them, they only have themselves (some with special someones but that doesn't count), their challenged career. By "challenged" I mean the money that they save from working is only good for a single-life, and not in 5 years of labor will they be able to buy a house, much less a car. For those who contribute to household expenses out of utang-na-loob (debt of gratitude), the burden gets worse.[ time: 2:30 am, same day ]I went back to sleep. Surely there must be something better for those who slug it out on their own. Not everyone goes home to a family.. not my friend in SV, not my friend in Ortigas, not the bachelor in Dubai. I'm sure their survivial instincts are keeping them alive to this day..[ - how's that for a post? - ]
(taken) For granted
Shermie (not her real name) was complaining to me that she is so harassed at work because of the workpile that she faces everyday. She is working abroad as a professional consultant for a company. She has a car and has a house (which will be hers after a couple more monthly payments). And she has savings.My Uncle has a US-visa, multiple-entry, indefinite. And guess what - he's in the Philippines. According to him, it's too much work when staying in the US. He should've just sold his visa so he could have money to spend here. He spends the rest of his days in manila living under the income of his wife. He is jobless by the way.An old officemate was complaining about work. After more than 5 years of service, she is still complaining. This friend could only be described as seasoned, well-travelled and successful. But despite all that, she considers her career rotting. What the hell? A lot of people would give a kidney just to be where she is.What's the common thing here? When I talk to people who can only wish to be in the shoes of the people I mentioned above, it is sickening, if not disgusting, to hang around with people like these.Which why whenever you have a blessing (whatever it is, beauty, a nice butt, killer abs, money, talent, an asset) you'd better use it, or else I will be one of those people wishing that you'd lose it.
Return-On-Investment
For the heck of it, I got to watch this noon-time variety show on my way to work (yeah yeah Sunday pare, and I'm fuckin' working! *yuck*) The show for this day was a "special" because they were airing live from Nagoya, Japan.Most of the gameshow contestants were Filipinos (mostly people who have migrated there or on contract). It's funny that whenever they were asked the question "what would you do if you won [ insert amount of money here ] ?" Their answer would usually be to go back home to Manila.[ I find it sometimes weird. Why bother going back when you can bring your family to Japan instead? ]Well, as the case with most people who lived in Manila for the best part of their younger years, living in Japan (Nagoya / Tokyo / Osaka / wherever) sounds like a good idea. And then the people who have worked and aged there are saying that they want to go back home.[ it's just like the saint said - "that's the way it is" ]I mean, when do you finally say that you've made enough of the time you've invested? (working in a foreign country i mean?) When your feet are straight already? In that case, I don't pity the lazy. Rather, I pity the middle class in manila because they are ones deserving of pay commensurate to costs of living.*************************************Anyway, going back to Japan. In mainichi shimbun, there was this quote from a guy working in Akihabara. He said that relationships are too difficult and you get more return-on-investment when you spend it on computers. I wasn't so proud about what this guy said. My suspicions were correct. Apparently, Japan's rigid system has turned most of the populace into mindless robots. Because of this, kids nowadays think that marriage is a crap shot, and the sex industry over there flourishes. [ Not being hypocrital saying that sex is wrong; it's a matter of respect of perspective ]. Yeah, given this idea, I'd rather just work there for a while or visit, but not migrate. Nihon no bunka wa daisuki desu ga, ryoko suru dake ga hoshii.. (I am a fan of Japanese culture, but I'd only want to go there for vacation)*************************************I watched a movie "Wasabi" last night.I liked Ryoko Hirosue's line -"I want wallpaper in my room-that of a nuclear explosion. With people dancing all around to techno."
What's the future for you?
I usually read Japan Today, Mainichi Shimbun, or any Japanese newspaper I come across. There was an article recently discussing about how people in their mid-20's look at their future. I was surprised at the answers of the respondents of the interviewed people in the article. Take note that we are referring to the average Japanese salaryman.According to most of them, there are two big problems besetting the old and to-be old of Japan. The first is forced resignation from work, while the second is absence of pension. I used to think that the Japanese government could provide pension for those retired employees in their 60's. [ man, was I so wrong ][ that's probably why people like it in the US, because when they grow old, they have SSI pension ]Still further reading on, I learned that the practical middle-aged japanese person was wishing that they would just die at that age instead of becoming old (because according to them, when they become old, they become useless ). What noble replies. Well I guess we can expect that from a country whose people value honor and reputation more than life itself.Further reading, It's somewhat baffling to notice that the average employed Japanese citizen is (still) complaining about their salary. And here I thought high costs of living always meant higher salaries.[ No wonder why Japanese (and other foreign) ex-pats like it here, because they have travel allowance and all other shit like that. Plus, if they spend their money here, they're DAMN rich. ]By the way, did you know that a watermelon in Japan costs around P4,000? When I think about the costs of living there and that people are still complaining, no wonder why you find a lot of Japanese in Manila. Food and everything is definitely cheaper.I sometimes think it IS better to die when you hit like.. 60? (or younger, depending if you've done everything you wanted). Just like one of the respondents said - you don't have to be a burden to your family and to society.[ Sadly, and more overly.. if you've reached 60 and still you haven't done what you wanted to do in life, I think it would probably better to just kill yourself and save yourself years of bitter grief ][ and after reading that up, I am definitely not convinced that I am better off being born in Manila ]So, how do you see your future 10 years from now?
Dear Sue Vol. 2
[ The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, events and dates similar to real-life counterparts are purely coincidential. ]Dear Sue,Thank you for dropping by the other day for coffee. Unfortunately we are both busy people, so I won't complain if we could only spare an hour the most. Don't worry, next time maybe I'll meet you while you're shopping - so that technically makes it a whole day-meeting no?Anyway, back to business..You have really learned from my last e-mail. And after your last "endeavor" (don't worry, I wasn't referring to your boo-boo), it looks like you're playing your cards right this timen around. Now wait, don't get me started and all.. this time around, it's the guy's fault.Yes, it's Robert's fault.That guy has no balls at all.[ I told you I'm impartial whenever it comes to the "rules of engagement", a guy is most definitely not always right ]I have encountered guys like these before - the kind who can't tell it to your face that they like you. Here you are, making best effort to produce that environment conducive for him to tell you that he likes you; but what DOES he tell you? He asks if "if there is a chance that you could me more than friends?". That's it? And what after that? Don't worry about what you reply. Whenever it comes to admitting feelings, they are like binary digits. It's a 1 or a 0. It's Like or Not Like. It's Love or Friends-only.As long as you didn't hear the words "I Like you" or anything more intimate than that - he is playing safe. Stay away from guys like that. They don't have what it takes to be your guy. [Yeah yeah I know you were assuming but sorry, since there is no formal documentation on feeling admittance, only those words are concrete proof. Not even all the flowers at Holland Blooms sent to your office will convey the same message].What pissed me off also, was that when he tried to hold your hand (or anything more estrogen-producing), he stopped seeing you after you shunned his hand away. Well it's natural that you didn't let him (after all, he didn't tell you that he liked you, so why was he doing that? He hasn't "paid" so why is he "playing"?). Man, if I was that guy, and I wanted you, puta I'd do anything for a "recovery". But look, where is he now? He's probably made up his mind about you and chickened out. The loss isn't yours at all. If he can't muster the courage - THE manly courage for simple things like telling you if he really wants you or not-- while you are friends, what more if he's your husband? Much less, your boyfriend?Eye-opening isn't it? But I know you are not sad this time, instead, smiling after realizing that the one that got away isn't always for you. Just let your nails dry, and this time, better finish those DVDs I lent you, my officemate is bugging me to return them already.So that's it for now. Almost there.. ^_oRegards,KikoP.S. Lately, I hang out with Kelly at the mall sometimes when she needs company before her guy picks her up in the evening, so whenever you're around, join us.
The Anesthesium
Surely once in your life, you have been into a mall. Have you ever stopped to think what is it about being in a mall that makes you wanna be there?Only those who build them really know, actually.Take a good look at the people when they're in a mall. You see all sorts of emotions, expressions on people's faces, and actions. There is a common denominator to all these. All those observed things associate themselves with 'happiness'. Have you ever seen a scandal in a mall? If ever there was, a mall's security would deal with it in a non-conscpicuous manner. They are all for avoiding "public disturbance". The only people who cry in a mall are children.Yes I can keep on listing all these. But let's go a little deeper. When you have a problem, let's say.. you have a test the following day and are really nervous, or.. you found out that your husband is womanizing and he's not admitting it, or.. your girl cheated on you, or.. you're about to be evicted from your appartment because you pay the rent late, what do you do? You go to the mall. You shop? You hang out at a coffeeshop with your friend? You watch a movie? anything else that requires spending money? Yep, it finally went down to money eh..Yup you better believe it - behind all that mall-talk, as long as you have money, the worries in your life will disappear momentarily.. like a powerful anesthetic. Remember that an anesthetic by definition is medicine that takes away pain temporarily. If you have a really serious problem, then you walk around in the mall seeing all happy faces of people doing that same thing you do, you just might break down and find a secluded spot where you can breathe.But yes, malls are there for this purpose. I write in this tone because it's always easy to write about happy things and there is little substance. After realizing this other way of viewing your experience of malling, it sometimes makes sense to stay home. Coz yeah, sometimes it takes more than a mall to fix yourself up.
