Dear Sue
The following post is a work of fiction. All names, places, events and dates similar to real-life counterparts are purely coincidential.Dear Sue,
Yo gurl, thanks for emailing again. Yes I know you are still gritting your teeth in regret over the latest happening in your life. Specifically - that you ALMOST had a boyfriend. But like they say, "practice makes perfect". There is a book I'd recommend for you to read. It is entitled "I miss him, but my aim's improving". I forgot the name of the author - nevermind, he's probably dead by now (if the author is a "he").
I can go on and on about my lessons in love, but I'm only going to reiterate the basic things as I know you have a turbo-charged lifestyle and as your male friend, I have to deliver the hurting truth to you. Coz I know that even if we have words once in a while, we always manage to prop ourselves back up to good terms.
So, here goes.
My post-mortem of your "lesson". I would really like to blame Karl for this whole thing, but so sorry to say dear friend - it's your fault. You gave him a reason not to pursue you any further. You let out on one of the things girls should never tell a guy they like.
I am referring to your rant about guys promising heaven and earth and you keeping them waiting for eons. Then soon after, you realize that in a matter of weeks of not texting you, you learn from others that he has a girlfriend. How could anyone ever send a text message like that to him (of all people) BY MISTAKE? I can't believe you were exchanging texts with Lea about it, and your thumb happened to enter his name in the recipient list. You completely lost your composure when his attitude toward you started turning cold in the days that followed. No matter how sweet you tried to be, he lost the look in his eyes when he drew a picture in his head that his prospective girlfriend didn't know how to risk trusting a guy... in short - you weren't girlfriend material.
The moment you find that you couldn't trust a guy who woos you 200%, you are just wasting your time. He is also wasting his time convincing himself that he his girl trusts him, only to be get a front-row seat of your mind in motion.
And yeah don't even start with that crap about guys being boleros. If that was true, then your mom would bitch that you are an accident in the backseat. But no, she loves you a lot, and so does your dad. You have a complete happy family so you're just reacting to the pain you feel.
Back on-topic, why did you hesitate when he asked you to be his the first time? Your excuse was pathetic - "I'm not in the mood to be in a relationship", but your thoughts were snickering "hahaha he likes me, I'll make him wait a little more to see just how far he'll go". What did you have to do that for if you liked him too? You needed some kind of "initial cash deposit" or something? It's amazing how you have the gall to do this. You needed an ego booster or something? (at the expense of the prospective-most important person in your life of people). This is part of the "rules of engagement" so guys accept this without too much complaining. If I didn't know you and your personality I wouldn't scold you like this, but since you have this type of personality, I'm so sorry.. I have to tell this to your face - he deserves better.
Before you complain the next time about guys being players, picture this - a girl will just wait for her nails to dry. Someone will text, someone will ask you out, etc. You don't have to spend a buck (texting back is not counted). All you have to do is smile and set aside sometime for a guy (which he also does, so it cancels out), then make him comfy enough to make him ask you to be his. And voila! You've got yourself a boyfriend. And even if you say "yes", you still have a lot of guys lining up at your door. You can always leave your boyfriend for another guy if you don't want him, so all's fair ^_o.
Thing is - guys also know for a fact, that a pretty girl such as yourself is being texted by not just one guy. And a sensible guy can also tell if you're interested in him. If you really want him too but you send the wrong signals.. (such like disinterest or hesitation-type excuses) it's over even before it has even started. Guys don't like girls who raise their ego by holding them up and making them wait with baited breath just for ego's sake. It's a turn-off. It's 2005 already, no longer 1970. So smell the coffee and adjust.
I've said too much already.. So I'll end it here. I don't think I can do anything more to ease your pain. Karl is gone. And he will find a girl who trusts him more than you can. And until you have the guts to risk it like his girlfriend did when she said 'yes', keep on lunching with your friends at RP and stay single!! =)
Regards,
Kiko
P.S. because of your latest "mishap", I will indefinitely postpone introducing my friend Robert to you, since I believe band-aids are unnecessary at this point in your life.
posted by Urban Warrior @ 11:49 PM
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