Urban Warrior Cybercafe: September 2005

9.30.2005

Acceptance of the system

[ X weeks ago, in a house where families gathered ]

A girl and guy were talking.

"Kuya [not her kuya], why do people go to places like Starbucks and Seattles? Don't they know that the coffee's too expensive there?"

"Because they can."

"Ganon? You mean they're mayabang?"

"No, that's one way of looking at it. If I can do something, does that make me mayabang?"

"Ok, so ano pala yon? To prove that they're 'classy'?"

"That's another way of looking at it."

"So what's your take on it?"

"lil sis [not his sister], places like classy coffee shops aren't supposed to be viewed as places to drink coffee. Do you know that a coffee shop is actually a real-estate business? People pay rent for spending time at that place, then they drink coffee. That's one reason. The other reason is the first one I mentioned - because they can and will do that. Why do you ask?"

"What is it about people that makes them willing to pay that much for staying for a while and drinking coffee?"

"It's all part of a system. People work, so they get stressed or tired sometimes, and need to relax. For people in their mid-20's relaxing doesn't always mean spending time at home. Since they work, they make money. They aspire for better jobs - jobs that make more money. Naturally, those who have better pay want better quality service, quality places to relax, so there you have it. Coffeeshops are there to address that need of people to relax in a busy city, second to home of course."

"Despite the price?"

"If you can afford it, why would you think about the price?"

"..." [ dumbfounding silence ]

"is it hard to accept?"

"not exactly.. maybe because it's an irony that 3/4 of the population in PI is having problems making ends meet in a day and there are people that actually still can go spend their money in expensive places like that."

"my thinking was something like that too before I started working. But you see, you can't care for everybody. It's everyone for him/herself out there in the world. When you start working, let's see if you can tell me that again. As to what do you do when you can't afford it, is entirely another story.."

[ trust me little girl, you'll end up just like those people that you're talking about one day ]

9.27.2005

Le Filler

Tagged by Erica. How could I say no?

01. What is your favorite word (s)?
"So, what are you going to do?"

02. What is your least favorite word (s)?
"I don't know", "I can't", any word that connotates to a dead end.

03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Creatively? The sight of a girl in heeled sandals, or anything as beautiful.
I'll draw the rest in my head - and into my canvas.
Spiritually? Whenever I see strangers do acts of kindness. That's what I call real kindness.
Emotionally? An unexpected greeting from a friend at an unexpected time.

04. What turns you off?
People who don't know their place in other people's worlds. (they talk like they give a shit about you but in reality they don't)
People who talk but can't do.
Undue stupidity

05. What is your favorite curse word (s)?
Shit. Fuck. Holy crap.

06. What sound or noise do you love?
sticks tapping a table to a beat
synthesizers possesed by Dave Rogers
a girl friend's voice on the phone
a girl friend going ballistic when she's being teased

07. What sound or noise do you hate?
A girl crying. Weirdly I have an inkling for girls who debate instead of just cry helplessly.

08. What profession(s) other than your own would you like to attempt?
A Date doctor - I want hitch's job
A DJ
A masseur
A full-time music composer
A barista
A chef

09. What profession would you not like to do?
A priest.
A doctor.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Well done - you've figured out heaven's secret- that the true inheritors of the kingdom are those who do good and don't need to claim they know me for the credit. What the hell are people thinking - using my name to make money?"

9.26.2005

You just have to burn some

I was at a party this weekend. There was our usual circle of friends, and some family members of the host. They were really a good lot. There was the eating, the singing, the exchange of stories and ideas. Truly a blessing.

In the course of the event, more visitors came. One of them was a classmate in highschool. After exchanging pleasantries, he was ranting about other batchmates not stopping even to say hi when he meets them randomly in Makati. There was one time that he was in a train station that he saw one of them - after ignoring him once, he tries again, in an excuse, says "he's busy" but they're in the middle of the train station.

[ poor guy, highschool is over. did you really think everyone has to be nice althoughout life? ]

I didn't comment that much, just a short "that's the way it is" phrase. I wasn't in the mood to debate. When our old friend was out of earshot, the circle nodded in agreement - we decided to sever ties with people who couldn't get past "hi". Nothing more. Not that we were mean, but it was just that highschool was so jaded.

In the evening I was discussing with another friend the events of the day. It dawned upon us then that this year was the 10th year anniversary of our highschool "departure". And I'm wondering why of all the batches in all these years, we were the only batch who didn't bother to throw a party in the school during the "allotted time" for the sponsoring alumni group. And guess what - that moment, that time -- will never happen again.

The answer's really simple.

[ The true colors have finally shown. We didn't really give a shit about each other (everyone in general). We just handpicked our friends, then we just needed to graduate. ]

[ When I think of it, my inner circle of friends are the last surviving group from highschool. No other barkada other than ours is known to be intact. And we are as solid as friends-till-death ]

9.22.2005

She's just not that into me

After reading a previous post from the saint about a book entitled "He's just not that into you", I sought to read this book myself. I usually look things up first hand whenever there's some piece of controversial literature. I had a feeling I was ripped off.

Man was I so right. First off, it wasn't a male-bashing thing. That was my first impression of the book. While most of the book's after-wisdom was in small pieces, most of the examples are merely stories. Why did I say "merely"? Because everyone's story in life is different. When you're in a scenario that you are the one potentially involved in a might-be relationship, everyone's experience is unique. So in other words, not all the stuff discussed ever applies to you. Perhaps the book made its points clear:

First, that it doesn't take a genius to know that a guy doesn't want you. If we want you, we'll tell you. If we don't, we won't. If we ask you out, we only want to know you better and see what you're company's like, but we still don't like you. A guy with balls (who's really into you) will tell it to your face "I LIKE YOU", or something to that effect. Don't ASSUME.

Secondly, rejection is probably a hard fact to swallow for girls. This is true probably because only the girls usually do the rejecting. But when they get a taste of it, it's a big deal. If it isn't, then Greg and Lisa shouldn't have written the book. Guys are well.. THE masters of taking rejection. Most especially for the desperate to be in-love, this is breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The one thing about the book that makes you feel short-changed is that after reading it, you already know more or less the solution to your problem about figuring a guy out just how serious he is about you even before reading, you were just probably too stubborn to swallow it. More importantly, you were too afraid to let go of a person who wasn't on the same level of commitment as you. You girl, definitely deserve better.

See? There wasn't much new learning. Go spend your $10 on another book.

And If there was a book ever that would be the biggest lie in literature, it would be:
"She just not that into you", let's see if a girl could write that. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA =P

[ Ok, f_ck, that was a good laugh. ]

9.19.2005

Give and take

I feel bad for my last post. It was followed-up by a brain fart and so I developed an urge to write something again.

Have you ever wondered why some friends drop out of your life suddenly? It usually stems from one reason - "we aren't in-sync".

When in-sync, it means 'you two have the expectations from each other satisfied' or 'you both don't take more what you give'.

Don't worry. Did you know that when you stop communicating for a while, it is good. Not because you don't have time (which is mistakenly the cause of dispersing of your friends). It's because you know you two are still in sync even you are not talking everyday. I think that's the best level of friendship. If you have a lot of friends who are like that - you're good at keeping relationships.

The people below are those whose expectations I've got pretty set. Like they say, don't say "thank you" to your friends, because you don't ever get separated from them. Instead, be grateful. In fact I am.

Take the story of my blogging for example. The person who got me started in blogging - we rarely talk anymore, but hey whenever we bump into each other online, we still have the chemistry. (Sher)

And there's her friend, a junior in our field, who wanted the kick-ass car, and now is yearning for her independence. Screw the car ba kamo, Cherrie? =P

And of course, the sidekick, Apryll, our IT-turned nursing graduate. So, when can I have you take care of me? hehehe

And there's another one, the teacher, tv-personality wannabe. Rhia, you should really get your stuff together and audition. You won't be young forever ya'know.

Then after that, came friends I ran into by exchanging similar thoughts about religion. After a comment on her blog, there we have it - another link. ( yep, that's Jennie ).

Continuing the link, I caught an interesting site - Random scribbles of a mad Kat. Well, she isn't mad all the time hehehe. Call center people are really models for patience, damn...

Back in my college days, I was mentor to many. One of which who stayed in touch is now a successful doctor, Julsitos. If I had the money, I'd fund his campaign should he decide to run for president. (forget it pare, it's just too screwed even for an idealist like you).

Browsing from Julsitos' blog, a doctor-fan of the anime culture, I stumbled upon "My Life In a Spoon". Catchy title. Obsessed with reaching 110 lbs and drinks too much coffee. There, I had another suki. (That's jeyaiy.)

An old friend from my previous work, who programs for peanuts and writes poetry and notes for a famous local newspaper, yep, Levin is a sure-visit.

I was a fan of someone who blogged a long time ago. She stopped for a while. I didn't have the diligence to comment on every one of her posts, so after seeing that she has returned to the blogging world, look where she is on my links. =D ( yesh, that's the saint )

Of course, how could I forget - the street-smart 5'3" MBA top notcher, who's blog is definitely a frequented one, as I am always amused at the terms she uses and her experiences in makati. Oh and I am big fan of Jaz's "image" hehehe.

To all of you (and the other anonymous readers), as you're reading this, I hope you are having a good time with whatever you're doing, coz I am. ^_o

So that they can't think

[ Commecial break - my brain is tired from too much brainstorming this week so I will take a different turn for this post ]

Was there ever a time that you wanted to get a truthful answer from someone? Here's a style.

Ask a question where the answer is expected.

If you don't get a reply within the expected amount of time (usually 5 seconds), then the answer is not your expected reply.

Let's site some examples:

A girl asks her boyfriend - "Do you love me?" and he doesn't answer a "yes" on-cue, he probably doesn't (anymore).
[Ask the same question to your girlfriend - if she doesn't answer, she's probably seeing someone else]

When you order someone to do a task at work within a period of time, to know if he's/she's done, ask "have you finished?"
[ if they don't reply positively immediately, or they're making excuses or muttering, most definitely they ain't ]

Even better. Ask your girlfriend (you suspect to be two-timing)
"Are you seeing him?" ( your guess of the correct reply is as good as mine )

Take note that the "expected reply" to a question may not be necessarily a "yes" or "no".

The secret behind this principle is that everything that is proper and correct doesn't cause your brain to function. You don't need to conjure a good excuse because you're telling the truth. And well, the nice thing about the truth is it's usually natural. But just because it is natural means that's is easy to accept.

Use this method with caution though. You can only try this on people whom you are close with. You'll end up offending a casual friend if you try this on them. Unless... you really mean to want to be close to them, you're going to have to start from somewhere right? =)

9.12.2005

You can't keep them all

This afternoon, I ran into a co-worker at my previous place of work who was making a courtesy call to a potential client. She knew me by face, while I knew her by name. I didn't want to put her in an awkward situation by addressing her by her first name coz I knew she didn't know my name (nor my nickname). There was only casual chatting, from which I found out that she has also joined the "departed" of that company. Anyway, the moment was finally over, and I don't know when we would run into each other again.

I wish I didn't have to remember people's faces (who I don't closely work with) so I can be naturally ignorant of them. Well anyway..

I was purging my mailbox of old emails in the evening. I haven't been able to archive in months so it took me a while before I actually finished. In the course of sifting through old emails, I came across one in my "Lessons" folder. It was from a friend back the school publication. We weren't exactly close back then, but after college, well, because of common friends we ended up exchanging emails occassionally. This one email I saved because I really needed to read it whenever I feel that most of my friends are slipping away from me. Most of the message is saying something like this:

"that's the way life is - we're going to have to let go of some things in order to have other things. The same goes with friends. I've made a lot of friends back in college (so many that every 50 meters I walk on campus, someone greets me), but just because those were happy times means that they'll be there forever. That's why we have to let go of some friends. It doesn't mean that we abhor them. It's a fact of life that we can't devote the same amount of time to everyone - we have to make choices".

Man, was she so right. I have surrendered the idea that I can actually keep all of my friends warm and fuzzy. This is doubly stressful if you're a people person. You can know all sorts of people but not be genuinely interested in them.

In reality, we are all like that - we decide on who we want to spend the minutes of our day - texting, greeting, emailing people. Some, forwards, non-sense shit even, yet there are people who, even if you don't do those things, or spare a bit of your attention to, still bother to say hi.

After reading this email yet again, I continued to purge my mailbox.

As I was going for the inbox this time - I deleted a couple of friendly emails from people I didn't bother replying to... nah, I didn't feel bad at all. That was just the true thing to do. Well, it's better than replying plasticly, right?

[ That friend in the publication who taught me all this - we are very good friends to this day, although we barely talk in a month. I know a dozen more people like this, and I think they are the real friends. ]

9.08.2005

Sun-Tzu is the man

I decided to go on a blogger link expedition and I chanced upon this link from the saint. It is that of Sun-Tzu's art of war.

I have read books on these since long ago, yet I never fail to get excited reading it again. It contains almost everything you need to and have to do to survive in the world, be it in life, your career, or in a game even. It is exactly just as as he keeps describing - about heaven and earth, and the elements.. yeah chinese philosopher's own. As a matter of fact, if you delve into chapter's 3 and 4 of it, it talks about strategy and tactics. That is probably among the most applicable. Most of his teachings on war are so frigging true that even Japanese companies apply it. Do you know that even Akio Morita, the late president of the Sony Corporation applies this philosophy? He's japanese - probably among the most innovative and visionary minds in the world. Even Bruce Lee, in his teachings of Jeet-Kun-Do, talks about "the art of fighting without fighting" - again a passage in The Art of War. It is next to murphy's law on my philosophies. For those of you who are feeling disappointed about what'cha wanna do in your life, you should read it. If you have read it, read it again. Your vigor will be refreshed.

To think someone back a long-time ago already knew what had to be done to survive in life, I wonder where most of us were when the one up there was giving philiosophy lessons.

9.01.2005

Tapsi-turvy world

[ after the fiction break, we now return to our real-life blogging. Note that all narrations are happening at almost exactly the same time ]

I was looking over a coffee shop window before sitting down to write this. There are moments when I worry for my friends more than my own shit that I have to deal with. Today was one of those days.

-----------------------------------------------------

One of my friends is in a dilemma as to his options with a girl that indirectly rejected him. To put it bluntly, she didn't say "no". I learned this new reason (or perhaps a new excuse) that girls use -- it goes something like "because I don't look at you that way". As being the usual stubborn person my friend is - I gave him two options disregarding the consequences- it's to give up or to make an effort.
Not that I was insisting on my advice. I just simplified all the probabilities he was yapping about. I sometimes pity him because he is the type of person who always considers *options*. In short, if there was a girl with a sharp mind that he was dating - that's definitely a sign of not being boyfriend-material.

-----------------------------------------------------

After almost a year of single-blessedness, another one of my friends is steadily dating again. There's just one problem, er.. issue.. The girl has a boyfriend. What the hell...? well, do I hear the karma lady knocking at the door? Yeah definitely interesting affair.. someone's going to get broken and I don't think it's going to be my friend.

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I remember posting an entry about my old friend in prep who got out of a 3-year relationship. After all this time, he's still feeling raw about it.. he must really love her. And it's his birthday soon. He should be happy, he can spend his birthday funds all for himself. Who is he kidding? That's what we'll be there for - for more beer. I can see minutes of a vision - the one of a drunk guy crying.. He is broken, shattered, scarred, devastated, I can't bear to describe it any further.

To the girl - don't fret. You are still my friend, but since he's my good friend too, don't make me compare yourself to my friendship with him.

-----------------------------------------------------

As I was having dinner at the mall food court, I ran into a familiar couple. Former officemates. I learned from a 3rd party that.. they aren't a couple anymore coz the guy broke up with her. I'm friends with both of them so I couldn't exactly take sides. I felt as if I could see a different face unmasking from the smiling girl - the smile that breaks into tears if you keep looking a little longer. It will be all over soon.. she will be having a season of sadness for months to come.

-----------------------------------------------------

what the hell is happening to my friends?

Everyone is doing one of two things- the first is moving on, while the second is feeling the grief of loss.

It is depressing just listening to all these, if not pitiful. However somehow these problems are still shallow compared to money matters, but they bring a different kind of excrutiating pain - the kind that tells you that you're not dead (yet), and yet you wish you were dead.

I wonder if there's such a thing called an "excruciating pain inducer". Fate has been drinking too much, so she's probably sending it out to the wrong people - which is why I wish that the RIGHT people drink it instead. ^_^

Urban Warrior Cybercafe

9.30.2005

Acceptance of the system

9.27.2005

Le Filler

9.26.2005

You just have to burn some

9.22.2005

She's just not that into me

9.19.2005

Give and take

So that they can't think

9.12.2005

You can't keep them all

9.08.2005

Sun-Tzu is the man

9.01.2005

Tapsi-turvy world

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