You can't keep them all
This afternoon, I ran into a co-worker at my previous place of work who was making a courtesy call to a potential client. She knew me by face, while I knew her by name. I didn't want to put her in an awkward situation by addressing her by her first name coz I knew she didn't know my name (nor my nickname). There was only casual chatting, from which I found out that she has also joined the "departed" of that company. Anyway, the moment was finally over, and I don't know when we would run into each other again.I wish I didn't have to remember people's faces (who I don't closely work with) so I can be naturally ignorant of them. Well anyway..
I was purging my mailbox of old emails in the evening. I haven't been able to archive in months so it took me a while before I actually finished. In the course of sifting through old emails, I came across one in my "Lessons" folder. It was from a friend back the school publication. We weren't exactly close back then, but after college, well, because of common friends we ended up exchanging emails occassionally. This one email I saved because I really needed to read it whenever I feel that most of my friends are slipping away from me. Most of the message is saying something like this:
"that's the way life is - we're going to have to let go of some things in order to have other things. The same goes with friends. I've made a lot of friends back in college (so many that every 50 meters I walk on campus, someone greets me), but just because those were happy times means that they'll be there forever. That's why we have to let go of some friends. It doesn't mean that we abhor them. It's a fact of life that we can't devote the same amount of time to everyone - we have to make choices".
Man, was she so right. I have surrendered the idea that I can actually keep all of my friends warm and fuzzy. This is doubly stressful if you're a people person. You can know all sorts of people but not be genuinely interested in them.
In reality, we are all like that - we decide on who we want to spend the minutes of our day - texting, greeting, emailing people. Some, forwards, non-sense shit even, yet there are people who, even if you don't do those things, or spare a bit of your attention to, still bother to say hi.
After reading this email yet again, I continued to purge my mailbox.
As I was going for the inbox this time - I deleted a couple of friendly emails from people I didn't bother replying to... nah, I didn't feel bad at all. That was just the true thing to do. Well, it's better than replying plasticly, right?
[ That friend in the publication who taught me all this - we are very good friends to this day, although we barely talk in a month. I know a dozen more people like this, and I think they are the real friends. ]
posted by Urban Warrior @ 11:37 PM
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