(coz you're) Broken
[ It's probably case-to-case but.. ]My cousins from my mother's side flew back from the US to visit. After exchanging stories about family here and there, I realized that we were connected immediately after learning of his situation. His mother remarried (the old husband divorced). The new husband has a kid (too). So he is living with his stepfather and the stepfather's kid under the same roof. When I asked him how he was treating the kid of the stepfather, it could only be described as "mild neglect".
I don't even think "neglect" is a proper word to describe it. It's like.. he doesn't care at all, and he's just being civil for the sake of harmony at home. But I don't blame him at all, and I don't think what he's doing is wrong either. It's his right. In any country for that matter, why should you get along because society dictates it? (when deep down inside you know the truth is that you really don't get along well?)
One of the things that you have to deal with when marrying into a family where one (or both parents) has kids is that there is brewed confusion in terms of attention. This becomes even worse when the man and woman who just remarried have kids of their own blood. Now the offspring of both these people will be the object of jealousy of the already-existing kids. It's good if the kids have grown into adults already -- they can decide on their own and adjusting could perhaps be easier. But what if they're young?
Well the reality of it all is that, if ever you do get married, have kids and for some reason, your marriage doesn't work out, you are faced with a crisis of who should you satisfy - Your need for having someone for you, or the future of your kid. I'm sure just about now, the young child (sibling of my cousin) is probably wondering "where's my daddy and why is this stranger in the house?". Quite confusing for a child.. and well.. it's quite difficult to explain realities like that to children because it traumatizes them for life.
but other than all things said, the end result is growing up in an even-more broken family. But life must go on..
..even if you are broken.
posted by Urban Warrior @ 8:32 AM
2 Comments:
no matter what life throws our way, it goes on. true.
marriage sucks.... children are the blessings...
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