To stop looking back
[ Flashback - some time in 1998 ][ A conversation between a boy and a girl at a party]
"So, where's your ate at?"
"Hi Kuya! Oh ate's at her friend's place. It's her friend's despedida."
Something hit me like "Spidersense". Someone's going to get screwed tonight.
True enough, a couple of weeks later. I learned that my friend was pregnant. A couple of hours into the party, there was drinking and dancing.. then some more drinking and some dirty dancing, then some more drinking and some more dirtier dancing, then another few moments, the high school boyfriend was on top of her, like copper being smelted in a heated forge.
At such an early age, and out of wedlock, her pristine constitution was with seed. I wanted to see her, but I heard that she disappeared under the care of her parents for a while until she bore her child. She said that it was difficult (referring to the consequences) because she had a lot of plans and dreams and that she's gotta drop most of those because of the responsibilities that come with what she did.
( too bad, I have high hopes for her, I'm sure she's strong, but she was regretting that thing she did. The next thing you'll know the 5 mins of exquisite pleasure is traded off for a changed life ).
[ End of Flashback - Fast Forward to sometime early 2006 ]
I glanced at a photograph in my proofs envelope that was sticking out. It was her, with a baby that looked like her kid (actually it was her younger brother). Whenever I think about it.. I am haunted sometimes by the thought that it could have been me (the guy who got her pregnant). Fate is still enjoying sadistically taunting me with those memories. At what age could you find such a girl? That whether you're awake or asleep you think about her? And hearing that she's gonna be a mommy soon breaks your heart and all...
I lazily picked up my cell and looked her up in my contacts. I didn't have anything to do in particular. I just wanted to see how she was.
(Whenever I get an urge to do this, I am reminded why I intentionally delete some people from my contact list).
posted by Urban Warrior @ 10:28 PM
1 Comments:
Our generation has got to be the worst when it comes to teenage pregnancies. The fact that generation x-ers' libidos are off the mark and top it off with stupid pre-notions about sex (like it's "rare" to get pregnant the first time) -- this is the result!
So this chick is obviously someone you liked, huh? Oh well. Some things just aren't meant to be. As for calling her up, don't. Don't beat yourself up with the "what if's" and be thankful that you're not a dad yet :p
Btw, glad to see you're updating again :)
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