The need to adapt
[ side story - one evening in Manila time ]One of the ghosts of my past came to me one night in a dream. She (the ghost) was threatening me with - "Don't you have any plans of having a girlfriend? You're not getting any younger".At hearing this I thought to myself -- "Since when did a guy worry about his age when the question of a relationship came up?". I'm pretty sure that reason did shut her up. I was actually going to respond: "That's something you should tell to a girl".And with that, the banshee was sealed away, not to come back for another hundred years or so.[ end of side story ]Actually there is something even heavier than that reasoning. Just recently there have been a number of blog posts the past week about a similar topic (I won't mention it anymore), and this topic has some sort of connection with how I'm dealing with all this shit.Well what I have to say is: back in the day, whenever I ask parents of how things where in the past, life was much easier -- they were getting married (and impregnated) at an early age average. They were like.. 18 to 21 at least. And that was around mid 70's to early 80's. Indeed, times were very easy. Fast forward 2006 - now it's nowhere near that state of ease in life's pressures. With this change - our people's values and habits should also change accordingly.And one of these changes we should adopt to is in our thinking that people should still get married before 30. I guess it's really difficult to scrape this off our minds since it has been deeply rooted. But I'm sure there is wisdom in adapting to the changes of the times. I know people past their 30's who are married but they voluntarily decided not to have children (and they have been married for 5 years and still decided not to have offspring). That's an example of the kind of adjustment that we have to nail into our heads. It all boils down to one thing "we don't have a good shot like our parents did. And insisting that a shot is good when it isn't will spell misery for you and your future children" (well, if we aren't living miserably already).It's pretty simple reasoning, that I wonder why people just don't get it. We make our own problems so people really shouldn't be complaining whenever they know they don't have the capacity to do something (like.. get married and raise a family) yet they do so out of social obligation or tradition.Screw that all, really.. times have changed, and so should we all..
The Steel Resolve
Last week marked my 7th year of service in name of my craft - that is being a professional Systems Analyst and Designer in the Information Technology industry. There are probably many who claim that they are, but let me tell you, it takes more than just working in a big company to be really called one (if at all for you to qualify).I'm not exaclty celebrating. In our community eye that's just for formalities. What really matters is how far I've gone and how much I've given up to achieve this level of expertise. Looking back at how we all were back in college as ComSci students, you could see the "potentials", you could also see the "potential wannabes". I saw my vocation, and with it I had realized my vision. And so I sought to reach it.I have gone far and wide in the development industry. Using my connections and my "quality of service" as my signature, I joined a smaller team of professionals who share the same passion. We are now one of the moving forces who shape to improve this country's infrastructure by providing organizations with services to improve their business.The question many people ask me is why did I leave my previous company -- perhaps the biggest step towards my career growth. My answer was quite straightforward - It was because the opportunities that I have now, that company could never provide. Why should I wait for 10-20 years for it when I can accomplish them now? I had to take care of myself - it was perhaps the (biggest and last) mistake I made in dealing with the denizens of the corporate world, to think that a company (any company for that matter) - could take care of you.Believe me - if you have the balls and talent (in whatever industry), you have to do two things - first is to turn your talent into an ability. You can achieve this by solidifying your values on personal discipline. When you have the discipline for your career - the talent becomes an ability. When you have an ability - that is.. being able to do something quicker and better than most people who still look at their skills as a talent, you are miles and miles ahead of people with Talent. And believe me - faster time-to-market sells more than just "being good". Ever wondered why people with good voices take voice lessons? It's for refining your voice talent into a Singing Ability. The analogy is similar in most cases.After this, next you have to sell yourself. Repeat business offered to you by previous clients is probably the biggest payback you will have. It doesn't matter if you were under a big company and you were servicing them. The point is when you left, they're still looking for you (and not the company). Strive to achieve that level of relationships with the people you do business with. After you have these two, everything else will follow. And you have secured your place in the world.And then after that, you work to leave your legacy, then retire a legend. It's all good.and I've got miles and miles to go...
To stop looking back
[ Flashback - some time in 1998 ]
[ A conversation between a boy and a girl at a party]"So, where's your ate at?""Hi Kuya! Oh ate's at her friend's place. It's her friend's despedida."Something hit me like "Spidersense". Someone's going to get screwed tonight.True enough, a couple of weeks later. I learned that my friend was pregnant. A couple of hours into the party, there was drinking and dancing.. then some more drinking and some dirty dancing, then some more drinking and some more dirtier dancing, then another few moments, the high school boyfriend was on top of her, like copper being smelted in a heated forge.At such an early age, and out of wedlock, her pristine constitution was with seed. I wanted to see her, but I heard that she disappeared under the care of her parents for a while until she bore her child. She said that it was difficult (referring to the consequences) because she had a lot of plans and dreams and that she's gotta drop most of those because of the responsibilities that come with what she did.( too bad, I have high hopes for her, I'm sure she's strong, but she was regretting that thing she did. The next thing you'll know the 5 mins of exquisite pleasure is traded off for a changed life ).[ End of Flashback - Fast Forward to sometime early 2006 ]I glanced at a photograph in my proofs envelope that was sticking out. It was her, with a baby that looked like her kid (actually it was her younger brother). Whenever I think about it.. I am haunted sometimes by the thought that it could have been me (the guy who got her pregnant). Fate is still enjoying sadistically taunting me with those memories. At what age could you find such a girl? That whether you're awake or asleep you think about her? And hearing that she's gonna be a mommy soon breaks your heart and all...I lazily picked up my cell and looked her up in my contacts. I didn't have anything to do in particular. I just wanted to see how she was.(Whenever I get an urge to do this, I am reminded why I intentionally delete some people from my contact list).
Why it's worth that much
Have you ever tried buying those expensive perfumes in malls? The ones that cost $60 US (P 3500 up)?Or if not surely you've had put any other perfume on before?While we would complain that the price is a bit too steep for perfume, I feel it's still worth the price.( of course if money is a problem you shouldn't really be buying perfume at all )Out of curiosity, I bought 2 100 Fl oz. bottles of perfume from a local perfume stall (the ones with short cylindrical colored translucent bottles - that should give you a clue where it's from). They costed something P1400 (est. $ 25 US) for both. Let's call it perfume A.Then I tried that together with the expensive brand that I have a little left of (originally a 250 ml. volume). Let's call this perfume B.I applied A and B in both wrists and see how long they lasted.In less than 12 hours, perfume A's scent has completely worn off.48 hours came and I can still pick up perfume B's scent.60 hours came and I can still pick up perfume B's scent faintly.When I look at it all on paper, I would end up paying more for the same amount of perfume (perfume A). So I realized that I should've bought perfume B. I would have been more satisfied with my purchase.For want of being able to save, I ended up spending more, so that's probably going to be last bottle of perfume of that brand that I'll buy.
